It’s a husband and porn one…

[Chickenfeed67]

A few days ago, I got up, went into the bathroom to have a shower and left DH in bed. I turned on the shower radio, and it must have been connected to his phone by Bluetooth because the sounds of a porn video came through it.

I shouted through to him, ‘what are you listening to’ and he came through a minute or so later all apologetic. Said ‘oh it was just some silly thing I clicked on, blah blah’. I’m not daft - I know he watches porn and if I’m not in the house I don’t really care…but the thought he turned it on as soon as I left the room feels different somehow. It’s not a sackable offence, but I can’t really look at him and it’s been a few days.

Should I get over it or has he really done wrong? I just don’t know.

if i feel i have had been disrespected enough by my husband for some reason that i couldn’t even bear to look at him for the last few days… not sure ten minutes of a dozen posters i don’t know from adam telling me that they wouldn’t feel disrespected would flip it for me.

But each to their own

Lots of really interesting comments here. I can just add that yeah maybe the way we respond to the whole porn thing is complicated and thus can seem irrational. I had an ex where all was good, I knew he looked at porn on his own,,,but one day I found him downloading it at my my house to take to his (it was a while ago, he didn't have internet), and I was furious!!! The idea of him using my internet just seemed so cheeky. Is that rational? I don't know. We're being asked to get our heads round a massive new thing in relationships and it's not easy.

I guess there’s no point in AIBU at all then, @plumberdrain . Personally I find it useful to get others opinions, especially seeing as I really don’t want to discuss this with friends.

thanks to all who have been helpful though, much appreciated.

very rarely much “point” to it

interesting nonetheless!

See, again, for someone who doesn’t accept porn, I find this completely irrational. What were you getting angry about exactly? Would you be angry if he was downloading Disney films to watch at his? If you wouldn’t be, then what is it about porn that would make you angry?

I can’t help but think that the only reason women who accept it do accept it is because they’re told to accept it/they think they won’t get a relationship if they don’t. The amount of mental gymnastics many women seem to go through in order to accept it seems like madness to me.

Yanbu.

Tbh porn is a no for me altogether but even if I was fine with him watching porn I would find this really disrespectful.

I’m with you OP. Don’t care if DH wants to watch porn but the desperation of him having to quickly sneak a wank in while I was in the shower would give me the ick…

No1 needs a desperate wanker 😂

Your attitude is EXACTLY.the same as mine ..solo masturbation and making love with your partner are two very different things is often purely to do with having a quick physical & mental release of tension..perfunctory shall we say & sex with your chosen person can be fast I'm furious & that can be amazing ...but the times where we take out times to really concentrate on each other's desires ..those times are the best .I.after having a quick wank & watching two people ( actors) bang hell out of each other & it's a 1 min 🍌 ✋..wouldn't bother me at all.I'm bisexual ,always have been & remember years ago my ex-husband being mortally offended if I.gently rubbed one out because I.had a horrifically hard job & he was too bloody stoned to do anything 😆😆😆😆If only knew what I.had hidden in my drawer he'd have had an aneurysm lol...hence I.left

It's just so distasteful