To feel very little sex drive after children

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I suppose this is more am I normal?

I had my first child 4 years ago. Before having my child I had what I would describe as a high sex drive, also remained high throughout the pregnancy. Always up for having sex, would imagine sex, dream about sex etc. Not to a pathological level but it was a big part of my relationship.

After the birth of my first child it’s like a switch turned off. I rarely feel horny now, only for a very brief time around ovulation. A few months after my second was born I felt it again, but almost to a horribly manic level, for a month or so, and then it turned off again.

I just can’t figure it out. I love my partner. Is it the relationship, hormones, body image issues after pregnancy or what? Do others feel this way? Feel like the imbalance affects the relationship, I feel pressure, and this makes me feel even more turned off.

Sorry if this is the wrong forum for this, I’m still fairly new to Mn.

I've felt very similar. I've put it diem to hormonal changes and being permanently knackered. If I have the chance to lie down I'd like to be asleep thank you very much.

My baby is only 4 months so can’t speak for whether it’ll last but I have absolutely no interest in sex whatsoever since having her.

Very very common

I slightly wonder if its like my body is there going 'fuck off, i have reproduced, my work is done'.

I did wonder about this 🤣

It comes back. I used to long for a whole night's sleep in a beautiful hotel room with blackout curtains. I was so tired

I think it often improves when you get enough sleep and feel less touched out from kids being all over you. Hormonal contraception like coil can also affect it.

You need to communicate with your partner, he might feel the same way!

I didn’t have quite as high a drive as you before, but since child 2 was born 3 years ago, I honestly wouldn’t care if I never had sex again.

Thank you. He doesn’t feel the same way, he’s so frustrated and I worry he’ll have an affair :(

don’t really know what to do about it. Try to force myself but feels a bit depressing, and makes me feel anxious! I just don’t like the touch anymore and I don’t like to touch 🤷🏻‍♀️unless ovulating where I’d probably just want an orgasm but not particularly “hot sex”

I also don’t think it’s my partner because I don’t have any crushes or find anyone particularly attractive (sexually)

I can’t bear it anymore. Just feel so tense and anxious and I think it’s the fear of getting pregnant (even with contraception). I have not felt happy or relaxed since becoming a mother several years ago- sex has become too intertwined with motherhood and feels like a violation. It’s putting immense strain on my marriage but I really can’t face it.

A violation is how I experience it too. Perhaps because it feels like I’m forcing myself to give myself to someone without my consent IYSWIM!

I think it’s pretty normal especially if you’ve got more than one and they’re pretty young.

My son is five and a half and I've only just got mine back! I think it can take time.

I am the same, I can't face sex anymore since becoming a mum.

I've found my people! I'm exactly the same. I still find DH attractive and love him even more now he's a dad. But sex is just so far down on my list of priorities, it is like a switch turned off. Plus the hassle of contraception is not worth it right now!
DH doesn't understand either.

Sorry everyone else is going through this, it’s good to hear I’m not alone though. Everywhere online says “it’s totally normal for sex drive to be reduced for a few months after birth”🤨