Party RSVP

[Rainbow821]

My DS birthday party is coming up, I’ve just sent out the invites at nursery. This one parent, whose child we’ve been to a party of recently messages to RSVP.

She goes on to say her DS would love to come and she will be 1.5hrs late to the two hour party. I wouldn’t mind if it was a hired hall or something but it’s at a child’s party venue and quite pricey per child. The event is structured and it would just be awkward if they arrived at the end for food.

I’m a bit surprised that she would even suggest coming that late. I’ve responded to say thank you for trying to make the effort, but as the event is structured her ETA wouldn't work, but to let me know if anything changes. I could tell in her response that she was surprised and annoyed.

AIBU to say no to such a late arrival?

Your response was perfect.

Hmm, not sure I agree on this one - you were happy to pay but are stopping it by cause of the perceived poor value they will receive from the contribution?

I'm assuming these are quite young children - I probably would have just said it is fine tbh - it doesn't really make any difference and means they can be included

No not at all, pointless turning up when it's nearly over. Another child could have that place. Perhaps you could save a party bag to give to the child when you see them next at nursery after the party, if the child is sad they can't go.

Perfect reply.

YANBU. A well composed response.
Other parent is bonkers.

Awww I can see it from both sides, if the kids are quite pally then she might want her child to drop in and give a gift and not be excluded.

Maybe child has really asked if they can do this and mum has said oh go on then and now she has to let the child down because you’ve refused??

Personally I would jump at the chance to not have to take my kid to a party if we already had plans that clashed 🤣

Would the venue offer a discount for a child who misses out on most of it?

Hmmm I think you've been a bit mean here she was obviously making an effort to attend even though it must clash with something else for them. She will wonder why she thought to bother.

Rather than telling you she should have asked. I'd have said yes no prob still come for food, better than not at all if friends with your child.

I can see both sides - I think she should have asked if it was ok to come for the last half hour

Thank you everyone for your perspectives, just to add our children aren’t that close. I invited her DS as we’ve recently attended their party. We’ve had to limit the numbers and my DS hasn’t been able to invite some of his other friends outside of nursery.

I personally wouldn’t attend a party that late, and would have just declined if our plans clashed. But I’m open to other opinions so I appreciate the responses.

Her DS wouldnt have known at this point as the invitations were delivered this morning and given to the parents at drop off. The parent messaged whilst they were at nursery. But yes otherwise I would have felt guilty to let a child down.

I think your response was fine, otherwise it works out just being a very expensive meal for a nursery age child 😂

If it's a soft play I'm guessing she figured her a child could eat then play and some might stay later.

But I agree with you

I would have said ok that's fine but you then explained your numbers are limited, in which case your response was sound.