I have suddenly had an enormous sense of disillusionment with almost everyone in my life.
My elderly parents – only seem to contact me when they need something, pay lip service when asking after my life yet give a long list of tasks and demands for me to do stuff after moaning about their health and situation (they’ve been extremely privileged and lived long lives – it’s only in the last few years that they’ve encountered any sort of difficulties). Compared to my life of challenges in every area, jobs, finances and relationships.
Adult children – visit / contact when they need something – though this is not always the case, I know they do appreciate me but tend to present all their problems at my door to fix.
Husband – we work different shifts and see each other briefly twice a day. I always make myself available to chat to him, ask him about his day, help prep his pack up etc but when it’s the other way round I’m on my own, with him just staring into his phone. I find that hurtful and disrespectful.
Old friends – I feel like I’m the one always contacting them or initiating meeting up. My messages will go unread for days then an ‘oh sorry I’ve been busy’. A longtime friend and I agreed to have a short break to Hamburg this year. I’m fairly flexible and suggested a long weekend or midweek break in the spring for three nights to keep costs low to suit us both. She’s now come back to me saying she’d prefer it in the autumn, for no less than four days and over a weekend only, all to suit her. I have so many other old friends who literally don’t bother anymore. Friends who have told me I’m energetic, sparkly, funny and kind.
I cooked a nice meal last weekend, a chicken casserole from scratch, finely chopping all the vegetables to make a base etc. The chicken was falling off the bone but delicious nevertheless. I then made an apple crumble and custard. The comments? My husband said the chicken was like ‘pulled chicken’ and it was not my finest effort, both he and children were disappointed that I served boiled potatoes and not mash (like I usually do) and didn’t eat them then I got complaints that the custard was a ‘bit runny’.
Honestly after all that effort! Then everyone left me to clear up.
I’m open to criticism here because I’m starting to feel I’d be better being a hermit! I’ve probably enabled everyone to treat me like this by being soft and forgiving and making no demands, or maybe my expectations are too high, or perhaps I'm too sensitive, but any advice would be appreciated.