Etiquette advice

[Mctm]

Went out last night for DH birthday. We went to a sushi restaurant in a very middle class town, lots of old money. We ordered LOTS of sushi and weren’t able to eat it all. There was a decent bit left over so asked to take it home with us which they kindly packed up for us with no issues.
As we were walking out I heard a family gasp on a table near the exit, exclaiming ‘they are taking it away!’ (Meaning me & DH as I saw her glance at the box I was carrying). They all gave each other embarrassed looks to each other and then stared at us in a judgemental way making me feel really uncomfortable.

Was I unreasonable for asking for a take away for our leftovers? I understand in Japanese culture it may be considered rude but only the cuisine was Japanese, I could see the chefs in the kitchen and all waiters and they were all white British.
I feel I was met with extreme snobbery from that family and it really upset me or maybe it was a big faux pas from us?

I know it’s not that big of a deal and there are far more important things going on in the world but I’m curious on others perspectives please.

YABU to even ask this. It really is such a none issue. They could have been agog at the fact you managed to not wolf up every morsel of such delicious food and had the self-restraint to have some left over to take away!

Do you often get upset by the perceived judgments of others? It reallllllly isn't something to get worked up over. Even if they were judging you for taking food you've paid for away, who cares? Says much more about them than it does you.

Maybe they were unaware you could ask for a doggy bag and wish they knew this in the past or maybe they misunderstood and thought you were getting a collection order to takeaway and never knew they did this. If they were just being snobby then the issue is with them. Millions of people take the leftovers home. Go to any posh afternoon tea and it would not be looked at twice. It’s part of some cultures also like if you watch a Gordon Ramsay show set in the USA

It’s a relatively new thing but I think:
In this era of food waste concern why would you want to leave it for the bin?
It is a compliment to the chefs that you want to take it
It’s yours, you have paid for it
Others will have done the same thing
Not the business of other rude diners!

Enjoy your sushi!

Maybe they hasn’t realised that it was an option to take sushi home and were astounded in a good way and will order extra next time?

Or they might be the kind of bizarre people that ask on mn if it’s safe to eat refrigerated rice the next day as they’re sure it means instant death.

I've been in more than one restaurant where we've asked for things to be packed up. I don't know if others comment, but tough if they do.

It wasn’t a thing when I was growing up. Grown teens take all leftovers away to have for their lunch the next day and when we have Turkish they do order an extra dish to have for lunches during the week.
I’ve paid for it so I’ll do what I like with it. That said, if it was just DH and I we would just order what we can eat and leave the rest behind so maybe it is a generational thing.
I wouldn’t give a strangers view on it a second thought though.

If they were Japanese it could be because you cannot take home leftovers there due to fears of food poisoning etc even at home. If they werent then they just are rude.

For what its worth I would take home leftovers of sushi because its bloody expensive.

Oh come on, I think the op is capable of telling what they were shocked about.

The fact that they were though isn't an issue. The op did nothing wrong and the snobs at rhe other table were very ill mannered & could do with a few etiquette lessons themselves.

The OP asked a question and you spent your whole reply being judgy and trying to shame them for literally no reason at all! Why be like that? Why try and turn this into “oh do often have a problem with things like this?” Oh that’s. So weird! Why? That’s really quite a sinister reply you gave for no reason. Mumsnet wouldn’t exist if people didn’t ask questions. Why try and make someone feel that way for asking something. It’s like a sport on here but the only person who looks bad is the person who’s trying so hard to be mean for no reason.

Honestly OP they were weird and rude. You did a perfectly normal thing. We were out not long before Christmas and the DC had a huge pizza that they couldn't finish. We brought it home and enjoyed it later

I recently had to travel abroad (2 hours on a plane away) for a day for work. We were treated to lunch and flew home after.

I couldn't finish it all and brought it home (on the plane) 😂

LOLing at the gasp. Who can be bothered getting that worked up about something like that? (The family, not you OP)

Thank you everyone for your replies. I would hate to have been rude so pleased the general consensus is that I wasn’t!

Traditionally it hasn't been the done thing on this side of the Atlantic to bring leftovers home (in any cuisine) but always has been in the US. I think with larger portions, tighter budgets and more awareness of food waste it will become more popular here and that's only a good thing.

Perhaps your gaspers weren't well travelled.

You know who was rude though don't you - it was them!

Not rude at all. I worked in loads of bars and restaurants when I was younger and we were always more than happy to wrap leftovers for people to take home. It didn’t happen often but I was always quite pleased when people asked, provided it was something that could survive being wrapped in foil. Nice to know that food isn’t being wasted and that the customer is getting value for money.

We also used to provide a cork/top for a wine bottle if people hadn’t finished a bottle of wine and wanted to take it home for later.

YABU to let it bother you in any way at all, and for making up in your head what people were thinking about you.

When our DC were small we made sure that they didn't over-order on food. I'm not above a doggy-bag, but i wanted them to learn how to behave and how to order. Sushi is deceptively filling, and expensive. There is no way i wouldn't have the things i can't eat packed up.

Honestly OP you did nothing wrong. I am rather posh (titled) and I wouldn’t think twice about asking for a doggy bag. It’s absolutely not a breach of etiquette.

I have been to Japan but didn’t really notice if it was or wasn’t a done thing there.

Maybe the other family don’t eat out very often, it’s increasingly expensive. They might not know that one can ask to take food home.

Don’t give it another thought.

Well said. I'm so sick of these kind of replies.

It’s completely their issue. Not yours at all OP. You did nothing wrong.

I was in a super smart michelin style restaurant recently and the staff offered to make up a doggy bag for us. Its just not a big deal at all and class doesnt come into it.

YABU to be upset by the judgement - just ignore! That said i do appreciate its very annoying to face that at the end of a lovely meal/occasion.

That family sounds jealous nouveau riche, rather than old money

I'm wondering if they didn't realise they could and it was a happy revelation. It's really ok to ask in any restaurant, and politely accept the no if they can't provide a container. I have been asking for a (literal) doggy bag all my life for ddog though I admit leftovers from a Japanese restaurant isn't something I've experienced as it's expensive and smaller portions

I think there is a weird hang up in British culture about taking away leftovers in a restaurant. In other places in the world, it's a non-issue. I'm very middle class and I'd absolutely do it as I hate waste. Dh is slightly embarrassed by me, but again, not because he's middle class, but simply because he was raised in a family where one should never draw attention to themselves. So he would stuff himself to the point of feeling ill rather than leave food uneaten and ask to take it home with him because it would make him feel like he was making a scene or being attention seeking and he has weird hang ups about being anything other than a bland backdrop in any social situation. I don't have weird hang ups so I ask for the doggy bag!