To want to fly home alone?

[bumblebeessarecool]

Its almost 2 years since my DF died. I was looking into flights to go home (I live in Europe) just for the day to visit his grave and have a chat and a cry. Then just pop into visit some family for a cuppa and fly home, all in the same day. I mentioned this to DH and was told to wait til half term, so we could all go and also take mil who had a relationship with my DF. AIBU not to want to? I would have to organize all the flights, hotels, entertainment for everyone. I dont like my MIL for numerous reasons, and she is an attention sponge. I just wanted some privacy and a moment to mourn in peace. I miss my dad.

Sounds lovely. I think you should go yourself. It's perfectly acceptable to want private time to grieve and remember your loved ones.

Just tell your husband you want to go alone. Its not unreasonable at all and he should support you. Do you really have to do it in the same day. Could you not spend a night woth family or in a hotel.

Go. This is about you, not them. Because your Father was there before them, he was in your life long before you knew your Husband or children or Mother In Law.

Some things are just for you, not them. This is one of those things.

Of course you should go alone. You don’t want the whole entourage in tow - especially not a MIL you don’t get on with. It would also cost a lot more.

Your “DH” just doesn’t want to be alone with the kids!

And make it a few days, not just one.

Just go. If he fancies going another time with everyone then great.

Do both you can have your private visit, and the family visit.

Tell DH you are doing this alone for yourself. You don't need his permission!

I'd definitely go alone this time. This is about YOU and not your DH and MIL.
If he wants to organise a bigger trip in half term then leave him to do it all.
Sorry about your dad. I lost my dad two years ago as well

Sorry for your loss. Ditto what everyone has said.

Just do it, OP.

You can definitely go by yourself. It's very appropriate to mourn the loss of your DF in private. Organising a family trip can also be done, but you need the time to be alone.

Do both.
Go on your own and then take the fam another time.

You're not unreasonable, but you need to tell your husband, not us.

"That's not what I had in mind at all DH, that would be something quite different. I'm surprised you don't see that."

Thanks everyone. I totally need to do this but like so many women I find it hard to put my wishes above others. I will talk to DH tomorrow and let you know what I will be doing.

Yanbu at all. And you don't need his permission.
From what you said about mil being an attention sponge, there's the additional risk that she'd make it all about her, which could be very upsetting for you.

Just do it. Tell him you want to go on your own, if he wants to go with the kids and his mother another time that’s up to him but this is your you only

just book it and go

I agree with everyone else. You should do it on your terms, OP.