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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To confront my neighbour about barking AGAIN

43 replies

moderationincludingmoderation · 10/01/2024 08:03

LONG history of disagreements and fall
outs with our neighbour over their first dog barking in their garden when they let it out. (Reactive barking, not neglected).

We've given up expecting them to do anything about it/manage it, and after 12 years just endure it.

Thankfully, it never seemed to bark indoors, so we never heard it bark through the walls.

Now they have a second dog (now 18 months). This one barks indoors too.
We can hear it through the bedroom walls and it's disturbing our sleep. (Late night 11/11.30pm, early morning 6.30/7pm).

AIBU to bring this up too?

Back story for those that can be bothered:

12 years living next to each other on small terrace street in a city. Make good friends as soon as we move in & they get a dog the same year.

Dog is terrier with an incredibly deep and loud bark for a terrier.

They/dog fell into the habit of barking as soon as he's let into the garden.
This can be bursts of 10-30 barks, repeated, for up to 10-20 mins in the winter.
Constantly on and off in the summer with their bi fold doors open all day.
Sometimes as early at 6.30/7am, and as late as 11/11.30pm. Even later if they have friends over and are up late hosting.

Dog is reactive barking, not neglected. (Though clearly needs more walking IMO).
We mention/complain about the barking in a friendly way. Especially as our baby's bedroom window backs onto the gardens and it's disturbing their already terrible sleep.
Their reaction is not good and we fall out.
Several more incidents do to with noise, and building disagreements ensue over the years.

10 years on. We get dog of our own. They then get another dog, same breed as their original dog. They tell us they are hoping it will HELP their dog to bark less.... it does the the exact opposite and now we have a dog barking outside, and one barking inside.

Our dog is not a barker (we chose a less barky breed deliberately, and trained her as best as possible). If our dog does bark in the garden (v. Rare) we bring her in immediately and don't let it escalate.

They have 2 teenagers. They are a 'respectable' & professional family, on paper.

Other neighbours have complained too (2 houses down). But we seem to be the ones who bear the brunt.
Not aware if their neighbours on the other side have ever complained properly. They are freindly though. And those neighbours are very quiet and keep themselves to themselves, I get the impression they do not like confrontation.

OP posts:
VisionsOfSplendour · 10/01/2024 08:08

It's a difficult one, I dony mind the morning or evening barks of nearby dogs but one neighbour has recently got a new dog that barks all day when they are at work

I sometimes work from home and its getting quite unbearable some days. I don't know the neighbours well but they seem reasonable, I think they just don't know about the barking. Realistically I'm not sure what they can do, I'm hoping the dog learns to be OK at home by itself soon

Strugglingtodomybest · 10/01/2024 08:09

I'm not sure that complaining will get you anywhere tbh. I'm sure the barking annoys them too, but if they haven't managed to stop it by now...

planetarynoodle · 10/01/2024 08:10

Thing is a dog is just going to bark isn't it? It's how it talks.

plumberdrain · 10/01/2024 08:11

We've given up expecting them to do anything about it/manage it, and after 12 years just endure it.

So why think mentioning the second dog is going to do anything?

HaddawayAndShite · 10/01/2024 08:11

If they didn't bother their arse training the first, they're not going to train this one.

People on several barking threads have recommended devices from Amazon that emit a loud high pitched noise that dogs can hear and dislike. It is activated by the barks and eventually they'll stop. You can buy CDs to the same effect top so you can blast it through the walls.

plumberdrain · 10/01/2024 08:12

Our dog is not a barker (we chose a less barky breed deliberately, and trained her as best as possible).

they got the same breed

but you’re saying that their dog barks and yours doesn’t ?

RabbitsRock · 10/01/2024 08:13

That reads as if it’s your neighbour that’s barking 🤣

MissJoGrant · 10/01/2024 08:13

If you complain, what is it you actually want them to do in response?

plumberdrain · 10/01/2024 08:14

They are a 'respectable' & professional family, on paper.

but because they have a dog that barks you think that behind the scenes they aren’t respectable and professional? 😂

moderationincludingmoderation · 10/01/2024 08:14

Strugglingtodomybest · 10/01/2024 08:09

I'm not sure that complaining will get you anywhere tbh. I'm sure the barking annoys them too, but if they haven't managed to stop it by now...

This is exactly why I'm not sure I can be bothered to say anything.

They often dismiss us anyway and make us out to be making a big deal out of nothing. (We're known to be easy going generally, but we do value sleep and need it!)

She did mention to me thst inside barker has separation anxiety... I think as a precurser to it getting this bad.

They may not be able to manage the indoor barking... but I've always manitained that they can manage the garden barking, by just not letting them out in the back.
It's laziness.
The dogs never bark out the fromt on the street, so they could bring them out for a quick pee and poo out on the lead up and down the street. But they cant be arsed.

OP posts:
MissJoGrant · 10/01/2024 08:14

plumberdrain · 10/01/2024 08:12

Our dog is not a barker (we chose a less barky breed deliberately, and trained her as best as possible).

they got the same breed

but you’re saying that their dog barks and yours doesn’t ?

I think the neighbours got the same breed as their original dog. So now they have two of the same breed.

kisstheblarney · 10/01/2024 08:16

They have 2 teenagers. They are a 'respectable' & professional family, on paper.

GrinGrinGrinGrin
The relevance of this and dog barking is what?

moderationincludingmoderation · 10/01/2024 08:18

plumberdrain · 10/01/2024 08:14

They are a 'respectable' & professional family, on paper.

but because they have a dog that barks you think that behind the scenes they aren’t respectable and professional? 😂

I don't believe respectable people disregard their neighbours and other people in this way. They have made no effort stop their dog barking. (They could take them out front on the lead for pees etc where they never bark).

Also, I've heard their rows. And I don't believe respectable people speak to each other, in front of their children, like that.

OP posts:
Strugglingtodomybest · 10/01/2024 08:18

plumberdrain · 10/01/2024 08:12

Our dog is not a barker (we chose a less barky breed deliberately, and trained her as best as possible).

they got the same breed

but you’re saying that their dog barks and yours doesn’t ?

They then get another dog, same breed as their original dog.

From the OP

plumberdrain · 10/01/2024 08:19

you got your breed of dog because they don’t bark

you say they got the same breed of dog?

plumberdrain · 10/01/2024 08:19

Strugglingtodomybest · 10/01/2024 08:18

They then get another dog, same breed as their original dog.

From the OP

ah got it

SoupDragon · 10/01/2024 08:20

planetarynoodle · 10/01/2024 08:10

Thing is a dog is just going to bark isn't it? It's how it talks.

No. Next door have yappy terrier, I used to have a spaniel. The terrier used to stand at the chain link fence between us barking and barking whilst my spaniel just stood there looking at him, wagging his tail. Mine never barked.

plumberdrain · 10/01/2024 08:20

nothing has changed for 12 years

why do you think mentioning again will make any difference?

moderationincludingmoderation · 10/01/2024 08:21

kisstheblarney · 10/01/2024 08:16

They have 2 teenagers. They are a 'respectable' & professional family, on paper.

GrinGrinGrinGrin
The relevance of this and dog barking is what?

To point out that they should be 'approachable' and having 2 teenagers, there are 4 people in the home who can 'manage' the dogs.

OP posts:
planetarynoodle · 10/01/2024 08:21

SoupDragon · 10/01/2024 08:20

No. Next door have yappy terrier, I used to have a spaniel. The terrier used to stand at the chain link fence between us barking and barking whilst my spaniel just stood there looking at him, wagging his tail. Mine never barked.

Oh right. Ignore me then please. I thought you couldn't really control dogs barking as long as they weren't on their own.

planetarynoodle · 10/01/2024 08:22

You might need to move house sorry. Unless you think the council might help?

LordyMe · 10/01/2024 08:22

It obnoxious and lazy of your neighbours to let there dog bark like that so much. An occasional bark is understandable but what your neighbours are doing is selfish.

I'm not sure what you can do though. ☹️

kisstheblarney · 10/01/2024 08:23

@moderationincludingmoderation I think you're confusing respectful and respectable!

plumberdrain · 10/01/2024 08:24

you live in a row of terraced houses and in 12 years and this barking has been ongoing for the entire time and

* Other neighbours have complained too (2 houses down). But we seem to be the ones who bear the brunt.*
Not aware if their neighbours on the other side have ever complained properly.

plumberdrain · 10/01/2024 08:24

doesn’t sound like it’s bothering others beyond neighbours 2 doors down