To think I made a mistake leaving my patner

[NeedingAGoodNap]

I ended things with my long term partner of 13 years about a year ago. We had been bickering a lot for a few years previously and I was a breaking point. He was being a poor father to our toddler and wasn't a great partner to me. But lately I've been wondering if I did the right thing. My extended family were happy to see him go but I feel like I miss him now. His parenting has improved and it seems like he has worked on himself a lot. I almost wish he was this person when we were together.

AIBU to think I made a mistake.

But he wasn't this person when you were together and wouldn't have become it if you hadn't split up so it sounds like you did the right thing to me.

It was splitting up that provoked a change in him. He'd have been the same, or worse, if you'd never booted him.
If you take him back he'll lapse back into his old ways.

Look ahead, OP.

He became this person because he’s not with you. If you’d stayed together, he would have remained the man that you split up with.
I would be happy that your toddler has a better parent - hopefully the changes that your ex has made is permanent.

He's different because you're not together. It sounds like neither of you were very happy and were not bringing out the best in each other. You did the right thing - stand by it.

You haven't made a mistake, if you didn't leave he still would have been that person.

Good points from everyone. I guess I got a glimpse of who he was a long time ago and I miss the life we could off have. We meet at 19, so my whole adult life was with him. It's a confusing time.

You gave him 13 times longer than this and he didn’t change! He didn’t change for you. He changed for himself, after you dumped him, so he wouldn’t remain useless, irritating and single. Remind yourself of that.

It’s almost worse that he has the capacity to be a better father and person but didn’t value you enough to do it when you were together.

If he gets a new partner he’ll probably revert to how he was and then you’ll be glad you dodged a bullet.

He's different because he's had to change - the split prompted that. He wouldn't have changed of his own accord.