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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to grieve the loss of a friendship?

4 replies

Rosexoxo · 09/01/2024 17:48

I had a close friend of 17 years, which evaporated when a new man came into her life 5 years ago. I have seen her a few times since the new man arrived (possibly about once a year) but it is clear that my friend has no time for me anymore. It is only me who ever initiates contact. I have recently sent a text as I am in her area and thought it would be lovely to see her. This text was not answered.
Not sure why I am posting, as there is nothing to be done. If she is not interested in continuing the friendship, I cannot force the issue. I do have other fabulous friends who I see regularly, but feel sad to lose this particular friend.
I just wondered if anyone else had encountered this scenario where a friendship ended when a new relationship started?

OP posts:
Danikm151 · 09/01/2024 17:49

Yes, friends for 13 years but I had to walk away for my own sanity. I grieved the friendship but hindsight shows that it was for the best

plumberdrain · 09/01/2024 17:49

did you like the new man?

did she do the same with her other friends?

Rosexoxo · 09/01/2024 18:23

@Danikm151 Sorry to hear that you have also lost a longstanding friend.

@plumberdrain The new man seems friendly. I did feel a bit worried about his intentions at first as he is 30 years younger than my friend, and came from a fairly impoverished country. I did wonder if he was just after my friend's money or wanted to settle in a more affluent country. However, I never expressed these views. My friend commented that I was kind and supportive when she was undertaking the lengthy application process to bring him to the UK. On the other hand, my friend's family members were deeply cynical about the man's intentions and this led to my friend being estranged from them.
In answer to your other question, we don't have any mutual friends, so I have no idea if she has reduced contact with other people since the new man came into her life.

OP posts:
Rosexoxo · 12/01/2024 17:53

Update! Received text reply from friend about meeting up sometime. Friendship obviously not completely dead!

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