Exh wants to take kids (3, 4 and 6) to Spain to visit family. Of the couple he wants to visit, one is physically violent to partner and erratic in behaviour. The other repeatedly sexually abused another family member as a pre-teen (they were very little). They're a grown up now but it makes me very uncomfortable to think of my small kids there with them. They have three kids and a dog and live by the beach so my kids are really excited to go.
I found out about the holiday from the kids, not my ex. I am now getting stick for even suggesting I may veto. I've been told ferry etc all paid for now so too late to change, and that they'll be staying with wider (essentially unknown to me) family which makes it all fine.
So, go on then - AIBU?