DS not bothered when I leave

[Dontlogout]

I notice at drop offs at nursery DS doesn’t give me a backward glance. Is this normal? I do find myself worrying sometimes. He always seems pleased to see me at pickup.

My 9 month old started at childminders yesterday and didn’t cry at all. Didn’t cry when I dropped him off and didn’t seem thrilled when I picked him up. It’s bizarre because he cries when I leave the room at home and if being held by somebody other than me he usually cries and puts his arms out to me. I’m a bit offended I have to admit!

No, "let's" not. She didn't need to apologise, you flounced her into it. You also don't get to tell other people when to move on, especially when you're in the wrong but just won't admit it. It's dishonest.

Nah it's all grand, both of ours have been like this. Youngest might wave goodbye to DH, but only if she can't see the Cheerios - they definitely win her attention if they're in view!

Happy to go in, happy to go home - it's the dream.

😂 the drama!

Well, if you don’t want to move on, don’t @Circularargument .

Thanks all. The only reason I wondered is because I had some comments on another thread once that hurt me a bit about insecure attachment and it popped into my mind on drop off when another little girl was crying for her mum.

I don't think the Op flounced just misread my intentions of my post it is not a big deal I only apologised because I didn't set out to "interigate' or accuse her of anything.

My eldest cried when I left her every morning from when she started nursery at 13 months till the spring term of reception. DC2 strolls into nursery every day like he owns the place and is ready to enjoy another day of playdough, getting covered in glitter and dropping his pasta all down his clothes. He rarely says bye.

I think it's just a personality thing.

Thanks. I’d obviously rather him not be upset but as with many things parent, you always question yourself.

Mine has never been bothered either. He's 2 now but even when he first starting going to childcare at 10 months he never cried or looked back. He does tell me he doesn't want to go and wants to stay home and sometimes it's a struggle getting him out the door but doesn't kick up a fuss once we get there. I was always told it's a good sign of secure attachment.

@Dontlogout you were unnecessarily rude in response to this

@Mrsjayy 's question was valid. If OP said what they had expected / thought was normal, then people could have commented on that

This is the dream for many, OP. A happy, well-adjusted child that can be left with other people to have a lovely play time. All is good :-)

No, that's nothing to worry about it. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or miss you. It really just means that he knows there are nice things to do and people to play with at nursery, and that he feels confident and assured that you'll be coming to pick him up again later. He is obviously delighted to see you again at pick-up, but he knows his routine and doesn't feel insecure or anxious.

He knows you will come back , he's secure

Come off it. What’s it to you?? The two posters actually involved in this issue have resolved it politely and pleasantly, what’s your agenda in ramping up the hostility and re-litigating a resolved argument?

Quite!

I could swear I've read on here from more knowledgeable posters than me that issues from attachment or lack thereof only really occur in cases of neglect or adoption - the serious shit. A child who is raised in a loving home won't have attachment issues regardless of their parents' parenting styles. A lot of the guff around attachment parenting doesn't have much evidence behind it (while also being perfectly fine if it works for you and your children).

Too lazy to go googling! But it seems sensible to me.

i show show confident he is that you will always be there for him. Well done you!

It's worse when they run away at pick up and say they don't want to come home and it's your birthday. That was a shit day.
My ds rarely gives me a second glance but we have the best snuggles and he'd not rather be anywhere else except in my arms unless Chase or Rocky ran past.
It's a great sign that they are happy in the knowledge that you'll come back at the end of the day so can have fun.

It's worse when they run away at pick up and say they don't want to come home

God, DS was like this. Awful with transitions. Kicking and screaming at drop off (literally only at the door though, he would skip up to the door perfectly happily, then lie on the floor like a starfish, screaming and sobbing, clutching the doorframe, whilst much younger children stepped over him calmly to go into the nursery). Apparently totally fine ten minutes later.

And then kicking and screaming when it was time to leave, too. Until we were back over the threshold, at which point he would instantly cheer up and tell me all about all the exciting things he’d done that day. Infuriating.