To think this would be inappropriate?

[ChatterMonkey]

Traveling for work in a couple of weeks. The airport we are travelling from is across the country from me, but closer to my (male) colleague. So the plan is that ill travel down the night before, stay in a hotel near colleague and then we can car share in the morning. Will need to do similar for the return journey, to get a few hours sleep before a long drive.

Dp has just suggested that i should just stay with colleague instead, and he didnt seem to think that this would be inappropriate??

Shod add, colleague has at no pint offered his house, but has suggested the hotel nearby.

Its sort of a non-issue as hotel is booked and paid for by work so im not put of pocket, im just surprised by the fact that my dp didnt see any issue with me staying overnight with a male colleague?

Would you be happy with your partner staying with a colleague in their house, surely this isnt normal??

If my husband didn't want me to stay at a colleague's house, it wouldn't be because he doesn't trust me. But I haven't worked with any men that I'd consider staying with either, largely for the same reasons.

I would have no issue with this.

Would, however, love to do come dine with me type snooping and chauffering around to their houses, but for coffee / cake in work time instead of dinner!

Just such a weird inappropriate suggestion. You are traveling with work let them pay for a hotel. Why is your boyfriend so keen to save a corporation £110 ?

Yes, this? Why on earth would you pay for the hotel? If it's for work, your company pays.

I don't think it should be expected to host a colleague, but would have no issues at all with DH staying with a female friend or colleague.

Can't think of anything worse than sleeping at a colleagues house!

I'll be honest - I used to spend time working in a colleagues home and it took our work friendship to a weirdly intimate level.

Pretty surprised at your husband trying to ship you off to a male co-workers place!

I would be fine with it, so a male and female can't be in the same place without jumping into bed with each other?

No, man or woman, I just wouldn't be comfortable at their house. Plus it's quite an imposition on them, I'd be too self conscious. At that time of night, an anonymous Holiday Inn will do just fine.

I wouldn't stay overnight at a colleagues house male or female unless it was someone I was very close to and considered a friend outside of work & I would think it was strange if DH did!

I don't think their gender is the issue, it's that they are a colleague rather than a friend. I would definitely rather stay in a hotel at someone else's expense than have to be on best behaviour in someone's spare room, potentially having awkward bathroom sharing and having to take a thank you gift.

Tbf I’d probably drive home if I had a 4am arrival time and then go to bed at home

Lots of red flags here. Time to reconsider your relationship with DP?

Well thats what im considering as well, but its a 5 hour drive, so depending on whether i can get any sleep on the plane or not, might be a tough journey with no sleep... if the plane is delayed at all and ill be arriving later than that, then im going to have to just skip the hotel and hit the road.

I’d be pleased this shows he level of trust and respect he has for you
rather than being someone who thinks you’d have your knickers off at the first opportunity

Absolutely no way I'd offer or accept to stay at a colleague's house.

Have you looked at flights from you to colleague to destination? Might save a lot of time, and probably won't cost much more than 5 hours driving plus a hotel!

It certainly wouldn’t bother me. But it may put the other person out, extra washing, cooking etc.

l’m a bi woman, so does that mean l should never stay with anyone because of the high risk l may seduce them?

It’s not a sexual thing it’s just frankly weird why you’re even puzzling over it. Work pays for a hotel it’s not an issue. I used to travel quite abit with work no one would ever even suggest this.

Even now when Dh goes to London with work if I suggest dropping him at the station he refuses- let them pay for a cab.

A family member bought her house from the family of a man that did too long a motorway drive with little sleep. It was a probate sale..he fell asleep while driving on the motorway. Just get a hotel. Very odd.

A bit silly and dramatic. Would you be "reconsidering your relationship" if it was you?

Your drip feed is swaying comments as most people itch to reply after half reading the first op.
In the context of the information you later added, it's not weird for a secure partner to be fine with you crashing at a colleague's. If you were going to shag your colleague you would do so while away, heck - you could be cheating on lunch break!

Some hotels near airports have 'day use' where you can check out early evening/late afternoon.

Are you saying that you think there’s something wrong with your DP trusting you not to shag your colleagues?!

If your DP stayed with a female colleague, what do you think would happen? Do you think they would somehow be unable to stop themselves having a night of passion just because they were under the same roof? Why do you think they’re more likely to have sex in a colleague’s home than in each other’s hotel rooms?

It would be odd to stay with a colleague for a business trip, because clearly the onus is on the employer, not your colleagues, to provide accommodation. But that would apply whether your colleague was male or female. The gender of the colleague is irrelevant.

You do realise this is MumsNet, right?
Spidey senses, red flags, secure finances, consult a lawyer, go NC, run for the hills, humiliate him in public…

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