Would you feel like you can give family a time to leave?

[Daisypod]

This happened at Christmas but it's been festering ever since.
We used to do alternate Christmas's with dh parents coming one year and mine the next but covid messed all that up and even though it was my parents turn I got guilt tripped into having everyone the first Christmas we could all get together. Then last year dh invited his parents before we had spoken about it so again we had all parents plus my brother. So this year again feeling guilty as dh is an only child we invited all parents and my sibling to Christmas dinner.
We always go to dh parents in the morning for presents etc then they come to ours for Christmas dinner and my parents come just before dinner. We then do presents after with my parents.
It's always a bit awkward as the two sides have very different political views, very left wing and very right! Everyone stays polite and doesn't mention politics but it always feels like people are walking on egg shells.
As dh parents get time with him and the kids in the morning I asked if he could suggest to his mum they leave before my family after dinner so we can have some time with just my side of the family but he wouldn't as he said he can't tell his mum when to leave.
My step dad has a limit on how much he can be with people so often they end up leaving earlier than dhs parents.
So was I terribly rude in asking dh to do this? I just wanted some time on Christmas Day with my mum without worrying about arguments happening.

Why don't you switch it up next time, and spend the morning with your parents and have his parents join the group/come over in the afternoon? That way both of you still get to see your family still but you also have a more relaxed time with your own parents

Why do you go back to alternate or else have the other person on Christmas Eve/Boxing Day. It sounds like an unpleasant situation for anyone spending Christmas with people you don't really have much in common with

I do one side of the family on Xmas day and the other family on Boxing Day. It's too complicated otherwise. I change it round every year.
Could that work for you op?

I was going to suggest this, too.

If neither set of parents want to cook, making it difficult to go back to turns about, I'd say fine, you can all come here every year, but we're going to take turns about visiting you in the morning. And let them like it or lump it.

No.

Why not just stay at your house on Xmas day and let your parents come early as they naturally leave earlier or let everyone have the same access to you on Xmas day.