Was I sarcastic accidentally?

[Noooooooope]

I think I upset my friend. We were meeting for lunch and she was running late, and flustered. We had a bit of a joke about the chaos of her morning where everything went wrong which resulted in her being late and both laughed. She apologised to me and said she realised she was always late, and I never was.

I just laughed and said ‘well, it’s not like you’. Then we moved on and spoke about something different.

I thought I was bantering in a kind of ‘I get you and accept you as you are’ way but she’s only made it known to me as we parted ways via text that she is affronted and thinks I was swiping / being sarky!

AIBU?

If she doesn't want you to be snarky, she could always try turning up on time.
I'd reply saying I meant it light hearted and I'd apologise for the offence.

But truthfully, this is all on her. It is her who is late and it is her who has assumed you were being snarky (as she'll be feeling guilty and therefore appropriating your comments in a way she may have used them if the roles were reversed), but at the end of the day, it's not worth the hassle is it?

Apologise and move on, you weren't at all out of line in my opinion.

Thank you

Was I sarcastic accidentally?

No, you were sarcastic intentionally. ‘Well, it’s not like you’ was clearly a sarcastic comment. She has taken it badly and to heart, rather than the jovial way in which you meant it to be received. I would apologise for touching a nerve, and say that you didn't mean to upset her.

Yes, she should be on time and it is annoying, but I'm guessing her friendship outweighs this since you regularly meet despite her lateness? I have a friend like that, she is wonderful and kind and thoughtful in every way, except she is always at least 15 minutes late - but I value her so much that I brush this off and don't let it bother me, I certainly wouldn't makes jibes to her about it.

Of course you were intentionally sarcastic, do you not know what sarcasm is? 🤣🤣

It wouldn't have bothered me or my friends though, we would've just laughed.

But yes, you were sarcastic weren't you?

You did nothing wrong. It's really normal for mates to joke about this sort of thing! You didn't say anything nasty or bitchy. When my friends and I joke about this sort of thing, we see it as accepting each other's quirks - it's an affectionate thing.

She sounds like quite a difficult person to me. I can't really deal with people who would be that intense about this sort of thing.

Does she not take that humour well usually? I had an ex friend who was very black and white with things. She fell out with me, because I'd speak to her like I would any of my friends. Not cruelty masked as banter, but just in a way she couldn't take. Even after a couple of years of close friendship, conversation had to be too restrained for me. In your example I'd say something back like "Oh behave! You know I was having a joke with you. If your time keeping bothered me, we wouldn't be friends!" (Which wouldn't have gone down well with my ex friend 😆) But if you have to walk on egg shells with people and change the way you speak, then they aren't friends worth having.

She probably feels bad about herself that she's always late while you manage not to be, and is projecting. Personally I'd apologise once, but its hardly offensive given she started the joking about it, so I wouldn't be falling on my sword over it. If she doesn't want to feel bad about her lateness she needs to be on time.

True. I was. Should’ve put the title as unkind

You see it exactly the same way which is reassuring to hear thank you

FFs, why is every other person offended nowadays? Get right on my nerves and irl I have no patience for it from anyone. Just get over it and move on. If someone doesn't like it then that's tough.

I’d be replying to her “Ooooh, sorry”.

It was obviously a joke.

What did you respond by saying?

As some said above i get fed up with people that get offended over stupid things.
Or get offended over anything what as the world come to.
Even if someone cracks a joke someone gets offended.
Speak your mind say it how it is someone will get offended.
I have no patience for it.
I tell people in real life dont ask me anything because i wont sugar coat it.

That wasn't an accident. Just own it. You were sarcastic.

Not unkind. Unless this friend is known for being overly sensitive?

Meh, as previous posters have said: maybe she needs to turn up on time.

She's made herself into a victim, whilst you are always the one kept waiting. She sounds pretty charmless.