To have to wait this long?

[melonmelonn]

Happy to be told I'm being unreasonable!

It was my birthday at the weekend and one of my friends bought me a gift voucher for an overnight stay at a spa, which is lovely. I initially thought I could choose who to take but friend says it is for me and her to go. Fine. The voucher is only valid on certain days of the week.

I asked my friend when she would be available to go as I could really do with the break. She's just told me that due to work and family commitments, she is unable to go until the end of May.

What are your thoughts?!

Sounds a bit frustrating but given how much that sort of thing costs I assume they're a good friend and will be a nice companion for it.

I obviously massively appreciate the gift, I'm aware that didn't really come across in my post!!

Presumably the voucher is still valid in May? What’s the real problem? She’s bought the two of you a nice experience and some dedicated time to spend together doing it. That’s the present. There doesn’t seem to be any great urgency to use the voucher, so you’ve just got something to look forward to. Arrange another something for yourself in the meantime - as presumably you’d have done had you not been given this voucher.

I think it’s fine to wait until May, gives you something to look forward to, like a half birthday :)

See this would annoy me. She's really bought for herself and is taking you as she dictates where, when and who.

I understand why you're annoyed.

YABVU. I think it’s really rude you thought you could take someone else!

May isn’t that far away.

it would annoy me and id be tempted to find someone else to go with

That's just ridiculous. It's five months off! Go now and take another friend with you. Your gift-bearing friend is being really silly.

Is your birthday in May? Maybe she's trying to tie them both together?

I'm only joking but it's her gift and she can give you whatever she likes really. You don't have to accept it but it seems quite thoughtful, it gives something to look forward to together for later in the year so it seems really sweet to me. Perhaps like you, I prefer to give gifts without strings attached but this is something people do and generally considered thoughtful I think.

I'd book it on a mutually convenient date and look forward to it, no point upsetting anyone and doing anything else.

I think it's a lovely gift but probably would have benefitted from being clearer at the point if giving, maybe stating in the card "I've bought us a weekend spa so we can spend some time together relaxing, let's book something end of may onwards".

The issue comes with the fact that your expectations weren't managed at the point you received the gift so you had in your head "great I really need this, Partner and I will go next week", so if course it's a bit if a bummer to have to wait 5 months for it.

Very lovely and generous gift that I'm sure you're appreciative of, also okay to be slightly bummed at the delay in some critical info.

@Arightoldcarryabag She's just had her birthday, that's why she had the present.

Yeah sorry Miltobe, meant HER B'day.

This. Your friend should have presented it differently. "I'm taking us both for a spa weekend. Sorry but I cant go till May but let's get it booked in so we've something to look forward to".
It's a little bit annoying for you but it's still a very generous gift you lucky person.

Which would be really rude and possibly end the friendship!

@44PumpLane Thank you - you've managed to sum up exactly how I was feeling!

I'd be annoyed.

Not really a gift for you, it's one for her really.

She wants an over night spa abs it's probably minimal cost to book for 2 as 1. Does it even include any activities?

Will you have to pay for the activities as she paid for the hotel stay?

I wouldn't mind having to wait until May for a spa trip with a friend, but I definitely agree with PPs that she should have made it all a lot clearer when she gave you the gift that a) it was for you to go with her and b) that she wouldn't be able to make it until spring/summer.

Like you say, it's a lovely present - but if you were thinking 'Ooh, how lovely, this will be ideal for me and my partner to beat the January blues' and were only afterwards told that your friend would be taking you and not until May, I can see why you'd be a bit disappointed. It's not the thing itself, it's just the moving of the goalposts.

Fuck that, it's MY birthday gift and I'm going with whoever I want to go with. Your 'friend' may drop you but she doesn't sound a great loss, the selfish cow.

Honestly it sounds like this was her christmas present and she's just decided to flip it and say its your birthday present and she's taking you