AIBU to think I might be able to stop being so addicted to food?

[swimminginthepool]

Has anyone successfully stopped obsessing about food? I'm massively overweight and it is because I am obsessed with food! Absolutely obsessed. Can't make any plans without factoring in some food. I am scared of being hungry I think. I'm not in a position to get actual help with this but happy to buy/ read a book, do whatever it takes! Help

Just to clarify I mean I can't afford counselling etc.

I kind of have done it yes but it’s not easy to explain. I use some CBT techniques to practice mindfulness around food. I want it but I don’t need it, visualising my goals, admitting to myself when I am full or over eating but this is something you have to do all day every day it’s not a magic cure, there isn’t one.

but if you stop eating the processed/junk foods you will want it less, it’s addictive so you need to eat way less of it to break the cycle. No one can eat 1000 calories of fish or chicken with veg easily in one go but that could be one average sized meal from McDonalds or a pub. Reading about ultra processed foods is interesting, puts me off!

oh and getting used to being a little hungry but not starving hungry. Look up the hunger satiety scale

I've read that keeping busy with something else can help. So if you are eating at night in front of the tv then instead of, when you watch tv also do a sudoku or knit.

Not having the food in the house has got to be the big one. If you have to gong out to buy crisps you might not bother.

I am reading a book called The Yoga of Eating by Charles Eisenstein at the moment. It has really struck a chord with me and is helping me to understand my attachments to food better.

He has written another book that I haven't read yet called Transformational Weight Loss, which is especially recommended for people struggling with obesity.

There's also an online programme on the website.

https://charleseisenstein.org/courses/dietary-transformation-inside-out/

OP, I know you said you can’t afford counselling, but could you get together the funds for a hypnosis session?
I’m not saying it will definitely work - I actually did a session for flying a few years back and it didn’t help me much - but two friends of mine underwent hypnosis for smoking and weight management and they swear by it. The smoker completely quit and friend has a much healthier relationship with food now. Possibly something to look in to?

It's funny you mention smoking @PossumintheHouse because I was about to suggest the best book I've ever read about stopping overeating. It's called Eating Less by Gillian Riley who I believe was an anti-smoking counsellor and realised a lot of the same techniques could be applied to people who just need to eat less.

I've had real success with the techniques in the book and I remember reading it feeling like lightbulbs were going off. I eat a healthy diet and love to cook and eat out, I just eat too much of my own food. For me it was more about realising the link between thinking about food ALL the time, and needing to gain more control around what I eat so I don't feel out of control eg. I could open a bag of family sized kettle chips and almost go on autopilot and they're gone before I realise it. Now I set times and plans around when and what I'll eat and stick to it eg. when I had breakfast this morning, I set a time that I wouldn't eat again until lunch. I really fancy some toast now but I know I'm just bored (hence being on MN!!) and I've made my plan now so I'm choosing not to have the toast. The toast will still be there another day, I'm not losing out on future toast by sticking to my plan right now.

Anyway highly recommend the book, it's on kindle and also cheap as it's an older book but the best one I've ever read.

Saxenda medication cured mine. Although it was privately funded, and if you can't afford counselling I assume you won't be able to afford the medication. I really think it should be available to everyone as it has been life changing for me. Cost is variable depending on the dose you need. It costs me around £200 a month.

I found Why We Eat (Too Much) really helpful. After reading it, I gave up sugar and feel much more in control about food. It made me realise that what I had assumed were emotional issues about food were actually often physiological - i.e. my blood sugar was out of control and I was eating to regulate it/feel ok.

Can you speak to the GP? They may refer you?

Also Richard Osman has spoke about this as he is the same so look for any podcasts he's been on where he has chatted about it. He did the Diary of a CEO where he talked about it but there will be more.

Interesting, I did try this for a month and all I heard was that it wouldn't be sustainable if/when I stopped and it was quite pricey and I did stop. TBH though it's less than I was spending on takeaways etc.

@Xiaoxiong I remember my grandma reading this book about 20 years ago. I'll see if she still has it. If not I'll buy it and give it a go. Thanks

I would read ultra processed people, the author advocates eating the ultra processed foods as you read it and people have found this puts them off eating this kind of addictive food.

Educate yourself about UPF, refined carbs and sugar. There are many books on the subject, e.g. Why We Eat (Too Much), Ultraprocessed People, The Sugar Solution.

Watch Dr Becky Gillaspy, Michael Moseley, Chris van Tulleken, The Sugar Goddess on YouTube.

Stop buying UPF, white bread/pasta/rice and sweet/sugary stuff. Don't drink calories (juice, soda, alcohol).

Instead eat lots of vegetables, moderate amounts of lean protein (very filling!), and small amounts of complex carbs, healthy fats and dairy.

And walk and exercise (try Lucy Wyndham Read) most days.

Dont buy snack foods. So no biscuits, cake, crisps chocolate. If they are not in the house, they can't be eaten. Find something to replace them with. Satsumas, apples or other fruit. I had to increase my protein intake to help a wound heal, so daughter bought me some protein shake, that gym goers use, to build it up. I had to cut out carbs, so for a few weeks I cut out bread and breakfast cereal, switching it for a protein shake. A bit boring, but it did the trick and I have lost 20 pounds in 6 months, even after the Xmas New Year binge. Once you get out of the habit of snacking it becomes easier, as you stop craving them. It also helps to stop eating out. Restaurant foid tastes good because of the use of butter and salt, both add loads if flavour but neither are good if too much is eaten.

Sit with the fear (of being hungry).
Don't run away from it. Set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes if it helps and stay with it.
Let the fear build.
Ask yourself where does my body feel the fear, where does it clench? Are you stating, what's happening with ypur breath?
Ask yourself what happens if you get hungry? Then what? What happens after that?
Breathe.
Repeat daily.

Sorry I meant are you sweating not stating

Telling someone who is a complete food addict to just "not buy junk" is like telling a smoker to just "not buy cigarettes" or a drinker to just "not buy alcohol".

Addictions to other substances are usually only helped by treatment. Just because her addiction is food doesn't mean its easier to break.

If making food swaps and avoiding the crisp aisle was easy she'd have done it by now.

I agree with the people saying don't buy / eat UPF but it must sound like a massive hardship if you are addicted to those things. But I can tell you something MAGIC happens when you stop - you stop wanting that food / you stop thinking about food and you stop being a slave to food. You become totally ok with a level of hunger because it's not deprivation - you just haven't re-fuelled yet. Also consider intermittent fasting, to turn off the clockwork that is hunger / the search for the next thing to put in your mouth.

I've recently lost 2 1/2 stone in about 9 months and was a binge eater. I started by cutting out snacks. So decent break, lunch dinner and then an evening treat.

You will be hungry at first because your stomach has expanded over time, but it becomes easier as you get use too it.

I still keep to a similar format, if I'm hungry I'll either eat fruit or protein like boiled eggs, chicken thighs etc as a replacement snack.

I found I over eat to try to stop feeling stressed, when I understood that and took steps to work on it, food became less of a focus

Also alot of drinks have alot of calories, people forget that.

I don't mean to belittle your problem, I promise, but there's a part of me that wishes I had your problem. I'm massively overweight too. But I don't really care about food. That's half the problem. I won't have lunch because I'm not hungry, then I'll snack on crisps and biscuits in the afternoon because I'm hungry. Or I'll make a sandwich for lunch and have pasta for tea, apparently carbs are what packs my weight on. Basically, after 30 years of dieting, I need to be very strict about eating the right foods to lose any weight at all.
Appetite suppressors or curing a food addiction won't help me, because I don't eat a lot, just the wrong things because that's what I crave and is convenient and readily available.
Of course you have my solidarity as a fellow weight battler, I do think this is an addiction you could overcome. Similar to stopping smoking or drinking (but not as easy, as everyone eats and enjoys nice food, not many people smoke and drink regularly!) Good luck.

You’re scared about being hungry? In a country with pretty much 24/7 access to shops and restaurants? 🤦‍♀️

Hello op! My dh and I got in to a similar rut. We love cooking and food but soon found that most of our activities revolved around it.

Good advice on this thread. We took a slightly different approach involving routines not goals.

In other words we are both focusing on our weekly timetable. We schedule it all in like we were back at school.

It takes a lot of time to eat all day! All of that grocery shopping, cooking, clearing up. And put simply, we decided to eat three modest meals a day and focus our attention on other things!

Mine is:

Up early and allocate two and a half hours to deep breathe, shower, dress, prep evening meal, and go for morning walk with dog, + basic housekeeping.

Back home cup of tea and apple with cinnamon and unsweetened apple compote.

Work for three hours 9.30 to 12.30 with break half way through (eat a few almonds, and walnuts) 20 min You tube work out strength training

12.30 to 2.30 = main meal of soup or salad and another work with a purpose eg errand like walk to post office or supermarket a
d back

2.30 to 4.30 pm work

4.30 pm more housekeeping and prepping supper
plus bit of down time - watch 30 min episode on Netflix instead of in evening

early dinner at 6 pm of protein plus veg plus tiny bit carb + clear up

Another dog walk after dinner followed by crafting (keeps hands busy)

early bed reading (brush teeth early and don’t snack)

By just shifting habits - getting up earlier and going to bed earlier and eating our main meal earlier - and meal planning and not buying any processed food in the first place , we’ve found it has helped a lot. Never eat in front of telly now and go for a walk after every meal. Obviously your meals have to be home cooked and balanced to achieve weight loss for this to work but the point is they are not the main focus of the day.

Now we ask friends to join us for a dog walk instead of going out for a meal or drink. Or we go out to concerts or visit a gallery or museum instead of a restaurant.

It’s nothing to do with the availability of restaurants! It’s about allowing yourself to go without.

Op the key is slow and steady and good routines! Your body is very good at adapting to what you do the most! Hang in there!

Spot on. And it’s even harder if you have a partner who stocks the kitchen with processed food and junk food snacks, like mine does.

@Xiaoxiong Thank you for the link, I’ll take a look at that.

I’m very much aware that my obsession with food was caused by past dieting. Doing something about it is something I’ve never been able to crack.

I’ve given up smoking the same way it’s not impossible it is hard though. All addiction battles start with a form of reduction or abstinence and resolve to succeed. Some need additional help to get there. Saying ‘it’s not my fault I am addicted and nothing I do will help’ isn’t going to help anyone