To start new job when I’ve recently found out I’m pregnant?

[Dontknowwhattodo123456]

Don’t know much about this stuff other than the straight forward legal stuff I’ve read which says that I’m under no obligation to disclose I’m pregnant until I’m a certain amount of weeks?

it’s such early days that I haven’t even told relatives yet.

finally heard back from a place I’ve wanted to work at for a while. Hours are great.

would they be pissed off when I eventually start to show etc? Am I doing something shitty by them hiring someone who towards the end of the year is going to have to be on mat leave? How does this all work?

thanks so much in advance to anyone who can help.

i was freelance before this.

thanks

You should just tell them at the latest possible time OP. You probably can't hide if you show early but there's no reason to tell them 'earlier' than needed out of some misplaced sense of obligation.

The 'moral' argument for employment planning is illogical.

Not everyone can get pregnant at the drop of a hat. You may have gotten pregnant 2 days, 2 months after getting the job... how can you control that? Many might not even have been actively trying.

Also (not a nice thing to think) but the baby might not even survive the first few weeks. 1 in 8 pregnancies end in miscarriage. People might not even want to tell their own friends/family, let alone employers + all the 'preparation' wouldn't be needed.

Btw I DO think it can be an issue for business, again scale matters but this thread is about you doing what's best for you. Not 'the business'.

I was in the same position a couple of years ago. Found out I was pregnant just as I swapped from being self-employed to a job at a company I was really keen to work with.

I didn't take the job. It was a role that I thought was great, but I'd want to give it my all and make a good impression, and they are pivotal in my industry. I wanted to give myself the best chance of making a good impression and really throwing myself into the role, and although the law was on my side, I decided that for me it didn't feel right, so I turned down the role. I did some consulting for them during my pregnancy, but stayed self-employed.

Two years later, I now work for them, and have done for a while. They gave me enhanced maternity pay when I joined them, and have gone out of their way to make things flexible. That's been great.

It was the right decision for me. I had a really easy pregnancy so would have been fine with that, but a Cat 1 C-Section at birth and then a rough few months, and I wouldn't have wanted to be off for 9 months from a new job. As it was, I was self-employed so went back a few days a week, but it was really flexible and worked really well for me. Then I've built up to basically full-time, but with a good split, as he's got older.

It's a really personal call. I think CrackerlessCracker's way of going about things is probably how I'd do it if I felt I did want the role, as you'll soon find out if they're a good company.

I started at a small company when I was 6 months pregnant. My manager knew before I accepted the job but due to being away, the CEO didn’t know until after I started. He found out when my maternity allowance was mentioned and he said he wanted me to be paid in full instead!

Three years later I’m still here and obviously very loyal after that.

I was in this exact same situation, found out I was pregnant days after being offered a new job. I let them know straight away before I accepted the offer and had a very honest conversation about the impact it would have on the team etc and they were completely fine with it. I didn't want to go into a working situation where I would be judged or resented for being pregnant. Their take on it was that it was an unusual circumstance but people get pregnant and go on mat leave all the time, it wasn't a big deal. I would just be honest and get a feel for their response and that will help you make a decision. For me it worked out very well, I have lovely supportive team mates and my line manager is great and I really enjoy my job and am looking forward to mat leave and returning afterwards. In fact my employer who I'd been with for two years before I got pregnant made me feel worse about being pregnant than the new employer!

Why on earth is it shitty to expect an employer to honour employment law? The legislation has been put in place in an attempt to level the playing field between men and women.

Good lord it is hard enough for women to succeed in the workplace in comparison to men that is, we really do not need to waive hard fought for employment rights on top of that so as to not be a bit shitty! This attitude makes me despair.

I had an offer of a role and I just found out I was pregnant. They knew before mu family as I told them up front. I decided to not take the role as I was fairly sure I couldn't deliver on the things they needed whilst being pregnant and it would have frustrated me to hand over to someone else to get all the glory (due to timings of things coming to fruition). Was the right decision but I wanted them to understand why in case I wanted to go back later !

It’s not a problem at all. Companies have to factor the potential for mat leave in to their business model. Don’t let the idea that you owe it to a corporation to make things easier for it stop you from taking a job you want. Pregnant women are entitled to start new jobs.

How does he not know when they’ll be back?

it’s a perfectly normal conversation to have with a woman, so how long do you think you’ll take? Oh at least 6 / 9 / 12 months. Ok, well let’s pencil in a check in around 5 / 8 / 11 months then to see if that’s still the case / plan for your return.

he’ll have also most likely have had around 6mths notice of said mat leave starting. So plenty of time to have arranged a temp cover in some form.

the possible 2nd mat leave is irrelevant, it could be years before that occurs and if not, then he’d have had the temp cover in to cover it.

he just sounds like an idiot that resents employing women because it gives him some occasional extra work to do.

@MimiSunshine

i don’t know to be honest, I tried to google… He was advised that his employees could return early or late and change their mind last minute. One took a year leave and let him know after 11 months that she wasn’t returning to work. Another one is currently on her second maternity leave with about 9 months in the office between the two.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/maternity-and-parental-rights/check-your-maternity-and-parental-rights/maternity-leave-and-pay/maternity-leave-your-options-when-it-ends/

given that he has in total 19 employees with several women and two currently off on maternity leave (and one leaving after maternity leave a year ago), I find it unfair to call him an idiot. He is very supportive of women.

I am just making the comment that he needs his business to be profitable. This is really difficult times.

It is difficult to recruit the right person. And that to have people joining and immediately going on maternity leave is not helpful. I am a woman, I had maternity leave and I do understand that point. I see him work late nights to make ends meet.

Legally, nothing wrong with it. Morally, I think its a bit of a shit thing to do to the employer. Depends how robust your morals are I guess

I think it depends on the company and how well you settle in tbh. It turned out that the calculated 'conception date' was my first day of my current job with my DS! I'd been there 10 weeks when I told my manager I was pregnant.

I don't think she was initially thrilled tbh but hid it well and everyone was excited by the time I'd hit 20 weeks. I'm in the process of working out my return to work hours now and they can't wait to have me back so I do really think it depends on how you get on in the job in general

If you start after your LMP date you will only get maternity allowance not statutory maternity pay or an employer's enhanced maternity pay/leave.

Do the calculations & see if it's worth it.

Take the job. Not shitty. You are also protected by law - for a very good reason! Congratulations on the pregnancy and the job!

Legally, nothing wrong with it. Morally, I think its a bit of a shit thing to do to the employer. Depends how robust your morals are I guess

where is the lack in morality by taking the job? Seriously 😳

I did it. Found out I was pregnant the day before I started! I was very worried about telling them (waited until about 20 weeks) but they were absolutely delighted for me. I’m nervous about going back though as my maternity cover will have been there longer than I was!
Got told it was an awful thing to do by some friends but as far as I’m concerned, they knew I was newly married and of child bearing age when they hired me!

I think it's fine to take the job. As others have said, the motherhood penalty is bad enough, and companies don't care about you.

I had a colleague who accepted a job with us and then told us she was pregnant. That was in 2010 and she's still in that job! I've moved on since then!

My morals tell me that women should not be discriminated against or otherwise disadvantaged (including missing out on their dream job) because of pregnancy.

Some depressing responses to this.

Congrats on the baby and the job OP!

It depends on circumstances really. For instance if this is a role that is for a project or a limited term contract then I don’t think I would enter into it knowing I would be leaving early.
if I had a steady job I probably wouldn’t move while knowing I was pregnant, but if I didn’t and needed the money to provide for child I was carrying then I would take the job. If it’s a difficult pregnancy then changing jobs might be a lot to manage. One of my pregnancies in particular was brutal with sickness and then complications.

I think you should take it. Why should you miss out because you're pregnant?

Come on ladies...we really do need to level the playing field a bit more and be encouraging each other.

I don't think it's morally wrong at all! I think when it comes to pregnancy, pregnancy rights, maternity leave, allowance etc, we've got a very long way to go!

This happened to me and I'd already handed in my notice at my old job! I told them once I'd been there for two weeks as I required risk assessments. My new manager was fuming and said she'd never have given me the job if she'd known, she was a cow to everyone though! It took 4 months to start (nhs) so I wasn't pregnant at the interview or when I accepted the job offer. Anyway I'm still there now 8 years later, my old manager got 'removed' and a new manager started whilst I was on Mat leave. Once the new manager was in place it was fine I didn't feel like there were any negative feelings towards me.

It worked out well but I felt so guilty when I had to tell them. I was only entitled to the govt mat allowance so I had to return to work after 6 months which wasn't ideal but my hours were reduced by the lovely new manager so I didn't have to put my son into childcare at 6 months old.

@Dontknowwhattodo123456

I had exactly the same 14 years ago.

I wasn't happy in my current very stressful job, applied for another and got offered it on a Friday. Asked to think about it over the weekend as I wanted to be sure about the commute as it was city based not rural, so rubbish traffic.

That weekend I realised my period was late which I assumed was down to the job stress, so took a pregnancy test just to rule it out, and it was positive.

I decided to turn the job down as I would not be entitled to full maternity leave, and it would not be fair on the company as I would be going on maternity leave just 6 months into a project. I turned it down and told them why.

2 years later I got a phone call and offered another job with the same company. They appreciated my honesty first time round and now another position had come up due to expansion, they wanted to give me first refusal!

If you’re freelance now, you’re not missing out on any perks by changing Jobs. I’d take it, you’re only allowed may allowance at this point. Life is far too short to worry about these things.

I say go for it. I found out I was pregnant and didn't tell anyone. A job came up in a team I used to work in and was happy in. Had the interview when I was 19 weeks. I was tiny and no one knew. Got offered the job and told my new manager immediately after her offering me the job. She was and still is very happy for me as well as the rest of the team. I have given a rough return date/month as I can't afford 12 months maternity. Shes been on hand throughout and although it is slightly annoying for her to have to find cover for me she wouldn't let on to anyone as these things happen

OP, I've been there. Lovely company, I was temping and really wanted a perm role. Felt a bit vommy and did a test the day after interview - was positive.

They invited me for 2nd interview and then offered me the role. I was barely 5 weeks so not telling family even (we've had early losses in my extended family so I was never going to announce before 12 week scan). I accepted the role and didn't say anything, wore slightly oversized clothes...

At 3 months in role I had a meeting to formalise whether I'd passed the probation period. I'd just had the all clear at the 12 week scan and told my family so I told them, explained the timings and my due date.

They were lovely about it, sent me a gift basket when baby was born, I felt very lucky - then in the phone meeting to discuss return to work timings after 6 months leave, they said they'd restructured and my role didn't exist anymore.

I could probably have protested but didn't have much fight in me after 6 months of new motherhood! What will be will be... Went back to temping instead and all was fine.

I did enjoy working there while it lasted but I can see that they just had a question mark over me and I was first on the block at the slightest opportunity.