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AIBU?

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Friend and money

5 replies

Namechangeforfriendpost · 07/01/2024 23:22

So my friend who I've known for years is a single parent and has her own home with a mortgage. She is constantly moaning on pay day about how she's in over draft already and how it's so frustrating she's not entitled to any benefits. I have explained she should apply for Universal credit and see if she's entitled to anything. She replied bluntly and says "no I'm in full time work I'll just have to struggle but it's so unfair" she has two children, a primary age child and a secondary age child. The primary aged child does 4 clubs a week. Horse riding, ice skating, dance and gymnastics. The secondary age child is being given lots of money each week from her. He demands takeaways, train tickets, money for a meal out every weekend. She's come to me for advice and I explain maybe to cut down the clubs for primary age child and to maybe do 1 or 2 and her secondary aged child to only be allowed a certain amount each week. The friend goes all defensive and says "No they need the clubs and time out with friends it's important" I explained yes but to cut down if it's putting her into over draft. I'm just a bit fed up of her moaning at me about money when she's constantly spending loads each week and saying how life's so unfair she isn't entitled to benefits. Our other friend is on benefits as a single parent and she can't even afford to send her child to one club, nor takeaways. And my friend is always talking about how "it's alright for some" as our other friend gets the cost of living payments. I'm just so fed up with this particular friend with it. I feel for the other friend on benefits as she needs it to make ends meet. I really don't get it. I feel myself moving away from the friendship as I really can't stand it anymore.

OP posts:
Namechangeforfriendpost · 07/01/2024 23:23

If she's coming to me for advice then why does she gets all defensive when I suggest things? I don't want to be the friend who gets all her problems loaded onto me. I dread seeing her as I don't want her to moan.

OP posts:
ShrinkingViolet982 · 07/01/2024 23:29

I think your friend is entitled, and distancing yourself from her is a good idea. She clearly has no idea how hard it is for many people if she’s bemoaning her lack of benefits whilst being able to afford horse riding lessons etc!

That would really wear me down after a while- but there’s no point raising it with her as I doubt she’s receptive to being told what an ignorant arse she is.

blackpanth · 07/01/2024 23:31

Definitely distance yourself

MoreStressMoreShit · 07/01/2024 23:35

Yeah that would piss me off

NotSuchASmugMarriedAnymore · 08/01/2024 00:07

Aww don't distance yourself, just tell her to stop bloody moaning you're fed up hearing her moan lol.

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