To not buy my son an Xbox

[Razorflight]

He will be 12 in a couple of months. He currently has a switch which he enjoys playing on and chats with his friends on certain games.

He is an active boy with several hobbies but will play on the switch for hours if allowed.

He doesn’t have a phone. Well, he does but it doesn’t have any social media or WhatsApp and is purely for him to contact us if he goes out. He rarely even charges it.

He’s just come back from a friend’s where he has been playing on Xbox and asked me to find out if the game they were playing is available on switch. It isn’t. He shrugged and said ‘that’s a shame’ and moved on.

Part of me thinks he would love an Xbox and I’m holding him back from his friends by not having one or a phone.

He hasn’t been particularly vocal in asking for either but he is a good boy and doesn’t really ask for much.

We aren’t a gaming family. I know nothing about Xbox’s and neither does DH but I don’t want to do him a disservice!

It’s not the money really although it’s more than we’d usually spend on a birthday-it’s whether he wants one more than he’s letting on or not!

He hasn’t even asked for one and they are a notorious time-suck. Think of all the time he will have to do other things. I wouldn’t. I played a lot of computer games in my teenage years and enjoyed them but got more from spending time with friends, reading, listening to music, going to festivals etc etc.

Why don't you ask him? Xbox isn't the only console and he might like a different one. Probably depends on friends or what he likes to play on the Switch. To be honest I wouldn't put the console thing. The switch is at least portable - our 10 year old would sit alone all day on the spare room where the Xbox lives if we let him

as he already plays the switch, then id say its quite possible he would like one, worse case, you buy it and it doesent get used, then you could always regift it or part exchange etc

I think you will need to at least get him a phone at somepoint soon otherwise he will start missing out on invites/ information etc.

Don't do it OP!

Keep him away from them as long as possible.

This is sound advice.

Talk to him and ask him! He might have one friend on xbox and 10 on play station so would be wasted! Or even a PC! I grew up late 90s early 00s and I loved my consoles as well as playing outside. I still game at this age (mid 30s) and I find it a really useful escapism just like I do reading or other hobbies like sewing/painting. As long as you limit the time then it's a good thing. It teaches problem solving and is a great way to relax (not counting GTA and COD). I like games that are action/adventure based or world building and I swear by them as relaxation

I will preface my comments by saying I hate the Xbox (having found a Switch largely positive).

My 2 boys 12, 14 share one. I have spent aeons of time setting up accounts, limits, controls. Still. It's like crack cocaine, it's so addictive. I spend my life policing it, rowing about it, and trying to reclaim my sitting room.

However, it's part of their social life. They both play a lot of sports - so are busy & active most evenings & a large part of the weekend. The Xbox is how they relax, and connect with friends.

I think sooner or later he will want it, and it's it's worth looking into.

Be aware on top of purchasing it, you'll probably need a GamesPass or Xbox Live subscription. A bit of a pain as it adds up but needed for playing online with friends - which is the main point.

So, sorry, yes, ask him! He sounds a sensible boy which is great.

This! As Mum of
Xbox addicts who given the chance would be on 24/7, I wholeheartedly agree!

Oh you do the same but our son is 13. He does have an Xbox and he knows every other night he can go on it and thoroughly enjoys playing and talking with his friends on it. We have the every other night so he still has family time and chat with us also

I've just bought a family PS5 for us - my son is 10 and I feel like it won't be long before he grows out of his Switch. We seemed to have bought most games of interest for the Switch and I was starting to buy third party games that were much more expensive on the Switch vs PS with much worse graphics.

Most boys in particular game on either PS/XBox as teenagers. I don't have an issue with it as long as homework is done and he attends his weekly sports clubs. He has plenty of play time, plays an instrument and reads too.

I spent a lot of time as a teenager watching tv, my son is more into gaming and watching gaming on You Tube. It's just what this generation does. I game a bit myself and it's a good bonding activity for us both. We've played coop games together and he's currently helping me with Hogwarts Legacy! 😂

Agree with asking him before buying as he may well want a PS rather than an XBox.

My son has been saving up and has recently bought himself an Xbox. Like you, we aren't a gaming family by any stretch and were (and still are) very sceptical about it. But we limit his time on it to 1.5hr each day which he is fine with. I am surprised by how many of his friends have one and he chats with his friends whilst they play etc. I think perhaps by not having one, they are slightly "out of the loop". Like it or not, I think it's natural progression for teenage boys in particular.

If I ask him I’m sure he’d say yes to either an Xbox or a PlayStation-it’s whether it’s worth the potential fallout in terms of addiction for something he doesn’t appear too desperate for.
But I don’t want him to be left out (so far he doesn’t seem to be) or the weirdo whose mum won’t let him have one!

Do not get one. Or leave it as long as possible. You won’t regret it

I like this directness! It’s the same advice I give to friends with younger children regarding phones having seen the fallout with my older daughter.

Wait until it becomes an issue from his point of view.

Don't pre-emptively buy him one.

My 12 year old got a ps5 for xmas and i already hate it

As someone has already said its like crack cocaine ...endless endless desire to be onnit

Push this off for as many years as you can

I echo what others have said that if yes, if he's not bothered yet, then hold off as long as possible and let him develop lots of other interests so that when it does kick in, it's one among many things, not the be all and end all. At 10, my DS read books and was doing about 4 different hobbies. As the X box came into the mix, everything else gradually dropped away. It's a constant battle. It all depends on the individual of course and DS does have some ASD traits which doesn't help but if I could do things differently I would.

If he asks for an Xbox or PS5 then get him one otherwise just leave it for now

My DS 18 has a PS5 and (Xbox he no longer uses) and just got a Switch he really wanted for ages for Christmas but I kept saying no because he had a PS5

DS kept saying but it's different. I chose to not listen.

DS was then going to buy one with his money so we got him one for Christmas after all

Now he has it I get why he wanted it so much because they are very different and have completely different games

I feel a bit stupid really for having been so sort of behind the times really in not understanding that he would like both etc

Anyway he has both now

He's an A star student so it hasn't held him back in any way shape or form in his academic life so that's definitely no excuse not to buy these things