To be upset by my mums constant negative running commentary on my daughter?

[Liverpoolgirl50]

We have an 18mo. My mum is in her 60’s, and seems to have either forgotten what it’s like to have a toddler (she has 4 children) or I have a terrible child..

Our DD is wild, funny, inquisitive and to me - a typical toddler, but every time my mum comes over she says things like ‘wow she never sits still does she’, ‘gosh you must be so pleased when she goes to bed at night’, ‘she doesn’t have a very long attention span does she’, ‘you must be exhausted having to entertain her all day’, or she will directly say to her ‘oh you’re such hard work’. I will correct her each time and say no she isn’t - she’s a child.

I find the comments hurtful - I adore our DD and yes she’s full on, but I’m trying to teach her patience and manners.

I haven’t ever said anything directly to my mum about these comments, because I think I might be being defensive and maybe over sensitive.. but would be keen to get others opinions.

I'm 38 and I'd forgotten how full on a toddler could be until my sister had kids.

I suspect your mum's forgotten.

She probably doesn't realise you're upset by he'd comments. I'd just say "mum, I know you think she's full on, but I really dont want you to comment in the way you do, because I thinks it sends a negative message to DD"

Personally, I only think the "you're such hard work" comment is off, the other comments are fine to my mind. But if they're bothering you I think you should address it with your mum

If I was your Mum I might think it but not necessarily say it. However a child that even you describe as wild sounds like a pain and liable to annoy anyone. When you're a long way away from having small children in the house your tolerance level drops.

She’s your baby, of course you’re upset by what are or feel like criticisms of her. By your own mother no less. You’re right to shut down comments aimed at DD, no need for that. Just because it’s coming from your mum doesn’t mean you have to put up with it but you can gently address them by reminding her your DD is a year and a half old and you feel her behaviour is normal and age appropriate.