Weird thread, but if your pets would proudly gift you one present for your birthday...

[SpeedbirdSquawker]

What would it be?

Mine would be very excited to give me a tube to run through (I have excitable rodents). They absolutely love their tubes with all their hearts and get excited when theirs is returned after a cleaning out of their living quarters.

Half chewed socks.

Food scraps from the kitchen bin or a pair of pants from the laundry basket.

A baggie of narcotics from my catnip fiend cats.

My miniature dachshund would give me alllll the cuddles!

Mismatched trainers from the shoerack!

We regularly get mice, usually alive. As an extra treat, we sometimes get a rat. Again, alive. The best one recently was a live, pissed off squirrel.

Just having them sleeping on the bed, purring their heads off and draped across my bladder so I need to pee (but daren't disturb them) is enough of a present from them though. And they seem happy with the arrangement!

Favourite cat always brings me feathers 🥰
Dog would sing happy birthday to me in her loudest woofie voice
Second boy cat would stand on me and bite my hand whilst I stroked him
Female older cat would ignore me

Mine would take me to the pub. He loves a pub.

A valerian toy… & they’d make sure there was plenty of vegan cake to go round, having discovered (obligate carnivores who?) it is delicious (& not wanting me to die).

Possibly another Magical Blanket of Warms™ so that when the one my daddy got me for my birthday last month is in the wash there is no interruption to the warm-supply/they are not reduced to their self-heating mat.

A large crafting pompom. Not a nice new clean one, no. The old manky orange one that may have been blue in a previous life but is now 80% dog hair and 15% cat drool. It would be given with love though, and demands for food and lap space.

They've already given me the best gift ever: the tail of a mouse, neatly amputated after the rest had been eaten. I was genuinely quite pleased with that one: very little mess and one fewer mouse in the house (Victorian terrace so mice are a fact of life).

I wish that they would give me a day off but they would probably give me a heart attack tbh.

Mine are all cats -
Fred, as always would give his lasting love and devotion.
Ted would give me a friendly bop on the head - he likes to sit on the back of the sofa.
George kitten would find a half chewed mouse that one of the others caught in the garden and pretend he caught it.
Kira kitten would give me cuddles.
Lily would give me nothing- she is a princess and all birthdays are automatically hers and no one else should get presents. Ever

My dog has been known to drop his ball in when I’m having a bath!

A blanket! Our springer LOVES a blanket, or a dressing gown, and is first over to throw himself on anyone who sits down with one!

Some kind of enormous smelly chew like a beef trachea or a deer leg

A stuffed toy to rip apart. One with a squeaker, legs and arms to pull off and lots of fluffy stuffing to spread around

A lady black lab who likes to chase around in circles, roll around in the mud and ultimately submits to being humped (this has never actually happened but it seems to be his ultimate fantasy despite being neutered. Also he is not a lab himself but he does have a type)

A squirrel, she's been trying to catch one for 11 years and hasn't managed it (thankfully) so I know she'd be super proud if she did. More realistically it would be a manky old tennis ball fished out of a muddy puddle.

I would get the well used,soggy cat nip sock shoved at me. Boy cat would give me the pleading (fill it up or else!) look. He would not share with the 3 girl cats 😽

A block of cheese (to share).

ddog always collects the ‘cheese tax’

I notice none of the cats would give you a shit, but I suppose that's because they already generously donate them to the neighbours.

A heated pair of fur trousers to improve their lapsitting experience and a mixed grill (with lamb chop, pork chop, steak and sausage) I'm vegan so that would only be going one way.