Please share your positive stories of a autistic and ADHD child later in their life.

[PercolatedFish]

I am on my knees with my 7 year old DS. He's autistic and has ADHD. I think the combination may be what makes him so challenging to parent.

He has no school as mainstream couldn't cope and no suitable specialist school available yet. Most support workers that are sent as part of his EOTIS package say they can't cope and abandon him after a session or two.

Paediatrician has offered to trial medication for ADHD but has said she isn't convinced it'll help as a lot of his behaviours could be because he is autistic and not the ADHD causing it. She has also warned of the side effects which tends to put me off as he's so young still.

I am feeling absolutely destroyed by it all. Its become too much for me. I have a 7 week old baby who I can't enjoy spending any time with as apart from meeting her basic needs I have barely any time for her as DS needs so much time and attention and as he's no longer in school there is no respite.

I am majorly depressed. Just hoping to hear stories from other families who went through a hellish time but actually came out the other side in a more positive place.

Right now everything feels hopeless and not worth living for.

I’m glad others’ posts have given you much needed hope you asked for in your OP.

Although I am not in your situation, your posts struck me for your unwavering support, determination and expert knowledge for your children in a nearly impossible situation.

You said you don’t want him picking up more unhelpful behaviours in the educational setting you were offered such as non verbalism.
true for any educational setting he attends that there will be a negative impact(and vice versa, he models his presentation of asd/adhd to others in new social interactions).

when the next offer of a place comes, for your survival and mental health maybe better to compromise with quality of his education and take it even with reservations.
wishing you luck and better LA support in future.

Husband and you sound like you’re heading for a crash if he doesn’t step up to do stuff you relinquish over to him.

Surviving Reflux Ireland is an amazing Facebook group to help parents with babies with reflux. Nothing Ireland specific in it but great advice and strategies. Having lived through reflux I know how stressful that alone is. It will get better.

@getfreddynow Thank you. I think you are right in that I will have to take the support of a school place for him if one comes on offer regardless of the negative impact, as the way things are right now at home is probably having a bigger negative impact on DS! I suppose it's the sort of thing you can't control - what goes on at school and who they're influenced by so will just have to accept this.

Sadly I'd say mine and DH's relationship has already crashed and burned but we stay together due to a mixture of financial necessity and trauma bonding.

The whole situation has been so hard that its had a massive impact on the whole family.

@PercolatedFish Do you have a social worker who can do an a carer assessment for you and look at what help you can get locally ?

Some local authorities fund respite care especially if you are getting to the stage your son's condition is negatively impacting other family members .

Sorry if this has already been suggested .

Try to get lots of outdoor time or even go for a car ride . I know it's hard when it's cold but I find that when this are difficult at home I take the kids for a walk, a stroll around the shops or a car ride and it really helps to get away from the dishes , the washing , the 4 walls at home .

sorry to hear that about your personal situation. Did wonder if that was the case cos of his absence from your OP.

I hope this stage is the rock bottom for you that creates even the smallest bit of positive change.