To complaint about HV?

[strawberryandpeach]

I am thinking of making a complaint about my HV and want to opt out the HV service as I find her useless and very patronising.

In my area it is routine to have the baby weighed monthly for 6 months if they were born premature and after that it is then parent led.
My child was born at 36 weeks so we have to have monthly weigh in's.

The HV has been around a few times now now and on the first occasion she was demanding to know why I was not breastfeeding and then was making passive aggressive comments about how she would often be amused at being asked to show someone how to breastfeed (after I asked her) and said it "should be natural to mothers".

She proceeded to write on my child's Red Book on the notes "NOT BV as patient is taking antibiotics for an infection - despite me advising her that it is safe to do so".

Me and my husband also asked for advice on why our child would vomit milk after each feeding and she just told me to look in the Red Book for advice and couldnt offer any advice and just shrugged.

After weeks of doctors appointments our child was diagnosed with Acid Reflux and a suspected Cow's Milk Energy, the GP did mention that the HV should be able to offer more advice and support on this.

When we wanted to re schedule an appointment she was very pushy and dismissed everything I was saying to the point of being rude.
In the end we had go stick to the original appointment as she refused to re schedule it.

We have now discovered that the HV service is optional and we want to opt out as we find the monthly visits quite intrusive (she will ask to look around the house) and pointless and she just tells us to read the Red Book or shrugs when we ask her questions.

Every time she has been round she has been late by hours and will have us just sitting there waiting with no call or anything.

We cancelled an appointment for next week using the office number as the HV was on annual leave on Tuesday.

On Friday when she must of returned she
called me when I was driving and then text me.
Basically said she has to weigh the baby and if she cannot be granted access she will have to report this to her supervisor which may warrant further action as XYZ is premature".

In the past she has been very flirty with my husband and she even text me before Christmas to ask how my husband was which I think its very unprofessional.

Am I being unreasonable in making a complaint?

YANBU.I had a horror too.If its optional,dont let her over the doorstep again and complain.

Sorry you’ve had a rough time, OP

Sadly the entire HV service seems quite hit and miss. We moved between DC1 and DC2 and the entire pre and post maternity care has been like chalk and cheese, so I can quite believe that what you’ve experienced might just be shoddy service by one individual.

We’ve had conflicting advice, differences in claimed ‘professional standards’, inconsistencies in reliability and noticed a general lack of flexibility this time around. Some of these things you can attribute to a struggling NHS, but not all.

What I would say is that this is not forever and generally it is for the best for baby’s weight to be monitored as they were premature/underweight. That is the primary objective here- to make sure your baby is thriving. If you can just bare it for the sake of DC, that’s probably for the best.

You can always provide feedback to the GP/PCT/maternity unit without totally opting out and potentially generating more aggravation than necessary.

I would 100% complain. This isn't how it should go. Maybe see if you can have another health visitor or have the appointments in another location like your doctors. But if not I simply wouldn't schedule any more appointments.

I've only had one appointment so far but totally not my experience. They are meant to be supportive and helpful not dismissive.

Do you have a weigh in clinic you can go to instead? Or can you request a different HV for the reasons you have stated?

The HV service is strange. I was more apprehensive about the HV than I was about pushing a baby out of me, both times! Our first HV was lovely, second one also nice but much more flustered than the first. Good experiences with both though, didn't shame us for any choices or decisions, both loved that we had a friendly dog which I've been told a lot of them absolutely balk at.

One thing I will say is that I have known particularly snooty health visitors report to SS if they have been denied access. This was my personal worry and the reason I never stopped the visits, but you're right, is is optional and you are within your rights to opt out.

But it sounds like she is utterly useless, doesn't actually give you advice, she shouldn't be making judgments around not bf. Our HVs only ever saw our living room and never once asked to see any more of the house. To answer your question, I'd complain and ask for another HV.

They do need to see where baby sleeps and only once so she should not need to see the house every time she comes.

Flirting and asking about your husband in a text is unprofessional and I would complain about that with a screenshot of the text as evidence.

They are supposed to encourage breastfeeding over formula but she has gone about it in the wrong way. She sounds like a horrible bitch really and like the other poster has already said they can involve social services if you opt out. I’ve had to go for weekly weigh ins which I find utterly pointless (slim baby with regular weight gain and no issues) but I continued them as I didn’t want escalation. They did often make me needlessly panic about his weight when he was younger and I’ve found their involvement to be detrimental rather than advantageous. And my health visitor is actually very lovely. I would ask for a different health visitor in your situation rather than opt out as it could be seen as being difficult on your side.

Oh no I would complain she sounds awful. I have heard it’s quite random whether you get a good one or bad one. There seems to be no in between.

I'm going to echo poster who mentioned reports to social services in revenge for stopping visits.

Is she an older HV? In my experience these are the worst for thinking they are the best thing ever, opinionated, often condescending and rude as hell.

First off, call the main phone line, ask for someone to email from higher up, so her boss. Then put everything in writing as an official complaint/concern for standards of care.

I think her unprofessional texts about your husband should be in there and her inflexibility over changing the appointment. Then also mention her never keeping to times and being unhelpful regarding queries. High up on that complaint should be her ignoring the allergy issue leaving baby unwell.

Then ask to change HV.

That way you have an official record of a complaint made of she does get nasty with social services. Its easy to lie about a phone call.

If she contacts you be firm and say you have raised a concern with her leads and will be exploring care from elsewhere. So not engage further than that. Go to weigh in clinics in the community.

HV can be brilliant, but I firmly believe due to NHS shortages there are some weak links who should've been farmed out ages ago.

her behaviour is insane.

my HV was rubbish just rushed and always off sick so I couldn’t get help. In the end I found one in the neighbouring area and see them instead.

they run weigh in clinics where you can self book and drop in which might be better. I tended to ring the community midwife or gp for advice as I found HV to be a bit wishy washy. I think their background education and knowledge can really vary.

anyone who pushes bf is off and also it’s not easy that’s why there are bf clinics everywhere so she’s talking rubbish.

I've had 2 kids and the HV has never once asked to look round the house or where the baby sleeps, and you don't need to let them - just tell them thanks but you don't see it as necessary so let's move on.

I've not found my HV that helpful but she's very nice, hasn't given me any dodgy advice, and if I had any struggles I feel like she would be supportive. If you don't feel the same then by all means opt out and weigh your baby at a clinic

Definitely worth complaining. I'm so sorry you had the misfortune of having her but hopefully your complaint will play a role in either improving her performance or letting her go.

She sounds very unprofessional. Definitely put a complaint in.

Some good advice and input on here.
She has mentioned the drop in clinic but advised against us going due to baby being born at 36 weeks.

She also told us she is trained as a nurse so you would think she would of at least picked up on my child's allergy and reflux and provided some advice and support.

When she comes it just seems like a tick box exercise and she just refers us to the Red Book for everything.
She has mentioned she is a trainee HV so you would think that she would be accompanied by a trained HV.

I will write a formal complaint as a PP mentioned and leave a paper trail of everything in case she does refer us to Social Services.

I was shocked with the breastfeeding comment especially as I was suffering from a nasty womb infection and was on bed rest.

She is about mid 40's but what you have advised is a good idea as opposed to me just calling in to complain.

Im really annoyed about her completely ignoring my son's allergy and telling us to read the Red book.

I think it is great that we have the Health Visiting service but it seems to be hit or miss if you get a good HV.

As she's not yet qualified she'll be supervised by an experienced HV.
If their name isn't in the Red Book there should at least be a contact number, you could phone and ask to speak to HV manager
Your feedback is important, especially with a student HV who probably needs closer supervision.

Call the office number and say you'll be going to the drop in clinic from now and don't require any more appointments. Then just ignore her.

If she reports you (what for, not having your baby weighed?), well who cares. You'll take the baby to the drop in clinic and speak to the staff there, so SS will have no issue.

This is absolutely horrendous I'm sorry. I would ask to change HV or yes opt out.

@strawberryandpeach thats awful! You had a womb infection and she was still banging on about bf. People can get seriously septic with those- best thing for baby is you to recover!

yeah she’s missed some glaring points by the sound. She should have safety netted about your child being sick eg look in red book but monitor wet and poo nappies. If you are still worried in a couple of days and it’s not getting better with holding up/burping then see GP.

she probably didn’t share but for any one who is bf and on abx here are good resources to check if they are ok:

https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/factsheet/antibiotics/

https://www.e-lactancia.org/breastfeeding/amoxicillin/product/
this one is good as it explains about the evidence from studies to explain the potential risk.

when you complain I would keep it really formal and black and white eg is like another HV . This one missed our child’s allergy and didn’t sign post us to the correct medical care. As she is a trainee we would like to see a qualified HV or attend clinic. Honestly go to the clinic she’s talking rubbish needed home visits for it all.

Id absolutely complain and ask for a new health visitor. Not sure where you are based but my understanding is in Scotland you should have the same throughout the child’s life and that’s a lot of visits and contact. They are supposed to be helpful and supportive and so sorry you haven’t have this experience. We had some feeding issues at first and the HV and did provide great support to help me breastfeed as I wanted to try a bit longer but as soon as I said I was stopping and fully bottle they are just as supportive and I was so grateful for this as I put a lot of guilt onto myself

Would call the main health visitor number and ask to switch to a different health visitor.

they can be absolutely lovely! Agree with PP that it’s their job to encourage breastfeeding over formula.
I also did find them useless for Anthony medical as any hint of a medical question they immediately look panicked and say GP gp!!

Whilst some of your complaints about her are valid others are not and I suspect have just irritated you because you no longer like her and are looking for issues.

If you are going to complain I would just ensure they focus on actual issues as complaining about some of these points will dilute the complaint rather than strengthen it and may lead to it being seen that you are looking for issues

As she’s a student HV, you need to speak to her Practice Teacher. Ask for a visit from the Practice Teacher and clearly outline the issues. The Practice Teacher needs to be fully aware of what’s going on here, as ultimately it’s up to her to sign off the student as competent.

Are there concerns about your babies weight or is it just being done as standard due to being a 36 weeker?

I think the threat of taking it further is a horrible one, I'd suggest what another poster said about going to a weigh in clinic instead if there are any nearby?

I had a lovely health visitor but know lots of people that don't always have a good experience. She shouldn't need to look around everytime either unless there are concerns (I don't think ours ever did, just asked on the first visit about sleeping arrangements ect) but may is going above a beyond due to being a student health visitor?

A trainee HV is a registered nurse who is doing the masters to become a HV so would be doing unsupervised visits. 100% call the team leader and raise a complaint and ask to be reassigned to an alternative HV. You can opt out however a good health visitor can be a good resource especially when it's your first child. Please don't let this poor experience take away your confidence as a new mum, it sounds like you are thriving. My best friend was on medication after birth and decided to move straight to formula and when the midwives were a bit rude to her about it she challenged it and it turned out that because she needed multiple meds to control her post partum high blood pressure and she shouldn't have been breastfeeding anyway!

Seems very strange I would make a complaint. HV can be so different I met a lady who's DS was very small for his age same as my DS same age her HV told her to add extra fat in diet to everything. Mine was your small so baby will be small. Other lady was same height her DH similar height to mine.