To ask if you notice how many likes other people get

[lardida]

I don’t post often but someone in my family had achieved something so I uploaded a nice photo of them etc. Maybe it was the algorithm but it has been liked seven times in one whole 24 hour period and I feel a bit embarrassed especially given the people who liked it latterly will have noticed it had so few likes and probably think I have no friends!

I’m worried about this irrationally so. I need to get a grip I know, for it’s social media and not real life. Would you notice or start thinking if you saw your friends hadn’t had many likes on a post or would you literally just like it and move on?

Honestly? Yes I do notice.

For me, with the exception of probably one person, it does genuinely correlate with how popular that person is IRL. There are quite a few people on my friend’s list who are very popular IRL with huge groups of friends. These people ALWAYS get at least 70 likes on every post. There are also people on my feed who don’t seem to have many friends and I notice even if they post something lovely, they never seem to get many likes (I always like their stuff as I think it’s sad)

I have an average number number of friends IRL and I think get an average number of likes on each post (probably 30/40 for most posts) I get hardly any likes on Instagram though, which is odd. I’ve had a few posts where on FB I’ve had 100+ likes, yet on Insta, probably 10-12? I’m a more prolific FB poster though I guess.

I really want to delete all SM and it’s something I may do this year as it is all so toxic. I’d want to keep some sort of FB profile though as it’s so useful for local community pages/ groups etc.

Honestly though OP, the time of posting etc does make a huge difference too. If you post at midnight, you’re not going to get half as many likes as is if you post at 7pm for instance. Also, like you say, algorithms play a huge part. I often miss people’s posts, or they’ll only show up for me 3 days later.

This is the reason I came off Facebook (or one of them). Rationally I knew it was ridiculous to care about likes, but I think it's human nature if you don't post all that often, to feel a bit flat if you only get a handful of likes on something you post. But the whole thing is so utterly meaningless. Of course family members or very close friends are probably genuinely interested in your post - but most 'likes' over and above those are just random acquaintances, people you used to work with, people you randomly met travelling, friends who you see occasionally and like well enough but don't think of from one week to the next normally - who themselves are mindlessly scrolling and checking on their own quota of "likes" while simultaneously firing off a like on every other post they see.

I also felt I knew far too much about people that in the past I just wouldn't have known. Of course I didn't have to accept their friend requests- but they were people I liked perfectly well- a mum at the school gates, a colleague at work, an acquaintance from running- and suddenly I'd go from a polite chat on the school run, or over a coffee after a work meeting or during a run- to seeing pictures of their nights out, knowing their best friends names, their opinions on politics, and goodness knows what else. All things that, in the real world, I might have liked finding out if the friendship blossomed naturally- but it was like my head was filled with the details of the lives of loads of people that really weren't that important to me- and it didn't leave me enough room for my own organic thoughts. I'm sure other people are able to keep Facebook in its place, use it occasionally, and not let it have this effect. But I think if you're feeling a bit down about something on there- it's time to leave.... it's not the real world, and honestly, once you remove it from your life, you forget it ever existed- it's wonderful!