To feel I’ve let my children down as a failure.

[anony24444]

I’ve been really depressed for quite a while which has resulted in my home being messy and cluttered where I cannot find anything. I finally managed to clean my sons room today and found a phonics book where I was supposed to do a page weekly with him and return back, and teacher puts another sheet in for him to do weekly. I feel really upset and like I’ve let him down. The teacher never mentioned it either and a whole term has gone by where I haven’t done anything with him. I feel like such a failure. I’m wondering what else I’ve forgotten to do and how else I’m failing my children. The house is no where near to being clean or organised. I started with the kids room.

I feel so bad every morning I’m rushing looking for matching socks etc. at least that part is organised now. I start work next week too, how the hell will I keep on top of things when as a SAHM I haven’t managed to.

I think most of us have forgotten to do / not realised we need to do something school related. Let it go and move forward now.

I find it’s best to get organised the night before school. That saves the morning panic.

And keep going with the decluttering- and going be afraid to tackle toys. Box up what they’re not playing with it and hide in the lift or garage if you have one. After a while, if they’ve not asked for it, remove to the charity shop or plastic recycling at the tip.

Do you have a partner, OP? This shouldn't all be on you!

How bloody helpful

Love the idea of doing homework in a cafe with a hot chocolate!

Same here. It’s overwhelming.

Well that’s really helpful to OP well done 🤦🏻‍♀️ ffs. If you’ve not anything helpful to say don’t say anything how ‘bout that 🤷‍♀️

Op socks, hair bands, are hard.
The only way I got round it was buying same size socks and lots of them.
Same with hair bands and school shirts.

Also having speficic little boxes in drawers for pants and socks really helped. Ikea sell little white boxes and pants go straight in.

Then setting a timer for only 6 mins to target one space, eg corner of bedroom and go armed with bags and cleaning stuff.
5 mins a day all week will start to make a huge dent.

Don't overwhelm yourself looking at the whole. Small steps, one small area 6 mins a day.

Re phonics book there is plenty of time for reading, you haven't failed him at all.
You can start that now!! It will be absolutely fine... You want to do it op.
Can you imagine how many parents really don't care at all and don't read to the it children.

Thank you everyone. I do have a husband but he doesn’t help with anything. I do 100% of the housework and kids drop offs and pick ups.

You are not the failure, he is.

Ah well, in the light of your most recent post, you need to doubly congratulate yourself for achieving the little wins you mentioned. Is he the cause of the depression?

Well your husband is a total failure then!!! I bet he is not feeling bad.

My advice is get a skip and hire
a cleaner once off to do a huge clean and just do your best after that. Good luck in the new job.

Oh OP - in the wise words of Mumsnet, you don't have a you problem or house problem - you have a DH problem 😞
Why does he not do anything?

I’m going to start this!!!
Ive taken a day off tomorrow to sort out house out!
Usually I clean the kitchen, make a brew then do nothing else!
I’m going to write a list of what needs doing then how long I’m going to allow myself for each job
Then I’m going to whack some Five Finger Death Punch on and get to it 😀😀

What have you been doing all day when you have been a sahm?

This question seems like a sort of oxymoron.

Yes, it's genius.

There might even be some sort of dopamine association with homework.