South Africa

[Anxietyandme24]

This is my first post and let me start my saying I suffer with anxiety so please be kind.

My OH is south african, he's been in UK 20 years but his mum and sister still live in SA (western cape). We've been looking at visiting with our 2 young children, 6 and 3 but the high crime is really making me anxious. We've visited twice before, one pre-kids and once when our eldest was 15months old and had a great time. But now I'm struggling with anxiety and it feels alot more worrying this time with 2 kids in tow. My partner is clearly very savvy having grown up there and his family obviously have the local knowledge too in terms of what's "safe".

Is it the anxiety or are my worries justified. Would you go with 2 young kids? I think if family wasn't there I wouldn't be going but his Mum is now late 70s and I'd like her to see her grandkids. Unfortunately she can't travel here owing to health and mobility

We went pre-kids and absolutely loved it too, it was the best place we've ever been. Like you, I'd be more hesitant now that I have 2 young children myself. I'd probably still go but be less adventurous this time and take a lot more precautions, last time we road tripped from Cape Town to Johannesburg, stayed in cheap accomodation and diy-ed everything. Staying with locals is definitely an advantage I feel.

I went there recently as my father has moved there. I went to Cape Town, which is apparently the safest area to visit. It was absolutely beautiful and there was loads to do with kids. We stayed centrally and kept to the main tourist areas. There are no go areas such as the bus station. Unfortunately, it was recommended to us that we not walk to a lot of places so we got a lot of Ubers. You don't have your phone out. Don't carry much cash or wear much jewellery - I didn't even take my wedding ring. So I would say go and enjoy, but take all the precautions.

I have lots of family there and dh is from there too. I would trust that he knows his way around. Have been many times and the best advise is to forget that you are from a safe, first world country and keep your guard up at all times. Walking around is a privilege here, don't walk around anywhere unless in very busy areas. Take a leash/ keep your kids in a stroller or strapped. Grabbing kids is very common and happens often. Don't wear brands or high value items. Don't be trusting, even children are set up as distractions. If the purpose is to visit the family, then just do that without expecting much of a holiday. I'm saying that, it's really one of the most beautiful places to visit. Just be extra safe rather than sorry.

Ha just posted the same as previous posters. You can PM me as well if you would like more info. But please don't stress too much, just keep your wits about everything and you will be fine.

I wouldn’t want to go op - going somewhere where ‘Walking around is a privilege here’, worrying and being on the lookout wouldn’t be my idea of an enjoyable trip.
However, if it’s to visit your dh’s relations and for his elderly mother to see the grandchildren, then I suppose you must go. If they live there they’ll no about the dangers.

I can see why you'd be concerned but on balance I think YABU. Whilst I wouldn't choose to go live in South Africa its still very possible to enjoy a holiday there plus you have family who will know how best to keep you safe and your dh is no stranger to the country.

My parents are there now for 6 weeks. Where abouts in SA? I’d like to take our kids when they’re a bit older but I’d stick to touristy areas like Cape Town. I probably wouldn’t take them elsewhere in the country at the moment. I think if you plan well and are aware of the situation then you’d be fine.

Where on the Western Cape. What sort of town? Do they live in a gated community.

We used to live in Johannesburg and were careful about what we did but did plenty of traveling around. We were mindful but we weren't scared if that makes sense. It's such an incredibly beautiful country.

If you go then the biggest risk is probably from car accidents rather than crime. There is a lot of drink and drug driving plus reckless driving.

Somerset West/Strand areas. They both live in gated communities yes, although likely we'd need to stay elsewhere (air bnb) as I don't think they'd have room for 4 of us. We'd obviously ensure any air bnb has appropriate security.

When you say kids are often grabbed - why? To hold them for ransom for money? Paedophiles?

@BubbleBubbleBubbleBubblePop yes mostly ransom cases, rapes, it's quite sordid really.

I’d have thought your dh will be only too well aware of what precautions to take. I’ve been twice, with dh who was based there for a year (on our own, not an organised tour) so he was only too well aware. We were careful, and it was fine.

I do understand your anxiety but I think you need to trust your dh on this. From experience it’s South Africans themselves who will know only too well where the risks lie.

I realise there are mobility issues but if MIL could even travel within SA would it be possible to all stay in a large place somewhere quiet outside the city, like Tulbagh? I found the W Cape regional towns far more relaxing.

I have family in Strand/ Somerset West, a beautiful area but I understand that there is a lot of current load shedding which are planned power cuts. These can happen many times a day for a few hours. A pain anyway but most security is powered by electric fences which would also be affected. I have been there many times but have now decided to not go currently due to the rising crime rates.

We are actually at Heathrow on the way to Cape Town right now, we have no children but sure you’ll be fine. Especially as you have family there who will know what’s what,

I’m off there in a couple of weeks.

Cannot wait.

Pre-kids we travelled all around the Western Cape, including a road trip as far as Port Elizabeth, and absolutely loved it. I didn't feel unsafe at any time. I'm really keen to go back with my son, although he's 12 now so older than your children.

I've been countless times and love it. I've never felt unsafe or been in a situation that was threatening etc.

I have visited South Africa twice, both times as a holiday. We visited the Cape region, the Kruger Park & Swaziland. We had no bad experiences whatsoever and we had a wonderful time. We were on our own, travelling independently in our hire car and had no connections in the country. We were obviously careful about where we went & when, based on the best advice generally available at the time.

In your position, I would definitely go, OP. It really is the most amazing country to visit and you will have the benefit of savvy locals to guide you. Listen to their advice & do as they say. Regret what you don’t do, not what you do.

I found South Africa pre kids and South Africa with kids completely different experiences and found it so stressful with kids,just so hard to keep them safe due to the high risk of grabbing yes,that was intense.some wonderful things about it to though and a holiday is very different to living there.capetown tourist areas felt so safe compared to where we lived which was rural,doing the tourist things safely is probably worth it for a short time,id take mine there now for a holiday,just be vigilant and stay in safe areas.

I also dressed my girl in boy clothes the whole time we lived there so you could do that if you've girls.much less of a worry if youve boys. I would holiday there it is amazing.

You'll be fine. We go there all the time. I've never heard of anyone having their child grabbed.