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AIBU?

Lonely with 14 month old, what to do?

15 replies

Lollapy · 06/01/2024 07:25

I am feeling so rubbish about starting a new day with dc. He’s only 14 months, his dad tries to see him once a week but it’s not every week and I still have to get him ready etc and they tend to go for a walk or something. Dc is still crawling. I have another long day while people are with their families. Everywhere is so busy, even if I went somewhere with him like the zoo it feels like such an effort. I am never sure if he’s happy as he can’t tell me what he wants to do. If we go for a walk he’s soon bored of the pram. Family sometimes around but often travelling etc.

Not sure if I’m doing something wrong but I’m just dreading the day again. It seems endless. What should I be doing?

OP posts:

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DustyLee123 · 06/01/2024 07:26

I used to do something every day. A trip to the shops, walk, park, library. Something to get us out of the house.
And don’t be worried if he has some screen time to give you a break.

DustyLee123 · 06/01/2024 07:27

Does he go to nursery? Do you work?

toodledo · 06/01/2024 07:27

Looking after a young child by yourself is really hard work, and lonely. My LB is 15 months and it's relentless. Are there any toddler classes you can go to? We go once a week and it's nice to meet other mums there too. I also find having a routine hells. Breakfast, walk, nap, activity, dinner etc. Hang in there, you're doing better than you think you are.

Lollapy · 06/01/2024 07:34

@DustyLee123 yes I work three days. Just find the weekends horrible as everywhere is busy and I am alone, I feel more alone than other days. I have no idea what to do today other than aimlessly wander round the supermarket

OP posts:
MondayBags678 · 06/01/2024 07:36

Have you got any local play groups like at church halls? I’ve found these lovely for the community spirit and meeting people and even just escaping the four walls! I had to go every week and first few weeks were daunting and I felt alone but after going a while people talked more and I met some new people with lots in common so hang in there if you feel uncomfortable after the first visit although in my experience the volunteers are people do make you welcome and take time to chat with you
or join some structure groups like music or gymnastics or something

crazycatladie · 06/01/2024 07:39

I'd walk to the park for a push on the swing and walk to the library to get some board books. I'd have a supply of snacks to keep little on happy in the pushchair.

HenkJnr · 06/01/2024 07:43

sounds like you could do with meeting some people in a similar situation. You can’t be the only single parent feeling lonely at the weekend. Do you feel you to organising something yourself via Facebook? Or a one to one thing with another mum from the nursery? It’s awful feeling lonely with a small child. Good luck

Benibidibici · 06/01/2024 07:46

Do you never see any adult friends? I am married but i don't spend all my time with dh. Often one of us is seeing a friend & their children.

Eg last week i met a friend who has kids similar age to mine at a cafe.

Cantgetausername87 · 06/01/2024 07:46

Yes it can be boring and relentless! You're in a sort of "inbetween" stage but as previous people have said library, soft play, park can all be lifesavers. Swimming is also a good option especially in the winter to fill your day. They may be busier on the weekends but that's a chance to meet other people. Once he's more mobile it will be easier for you. Is he going to nursery and do you work?

Charlingspont · 06/01/2024 07:48

I remember this stage. Very hard. Be comforted that it is just a phase (as are all parts of bringing up a child).

Is there a local garden centre to wander around? Might make a change from the supermarket. Or a bus to ride? That can be fun. Local sports centre with pool? Swimming can be good too.

PurBal · 06/01/2024 07:50

For weekend activities: churches often have Messy Church monthly and some have Sunday school. Might not be your thing but the often have a story and do a craft activity in Sunday school so can be a nice thing to do. Messy church includes a meal.

Mystro202 · 06/01/2024 08:04

I dread weekends too. At least during the week there are groups to go to which break up the day. There isn't any structure to the weekend days which I struggle with. It's difficult to entertain toddlers especially in winter. Would you have any neighbours with kids the same age that you could invite round or vice versa?

everygreensock · 06/01/2024 08:05

There will be a local single parent group on Facebook you could join to meet people in similar situations.
I agree - get out every day.
Meet friends as much as possible, invite them over to yours.
Soon he will start talking and your world will chance again as he will then be brilliant company (well - within reason! He's still a kid!). But it's easier when they can tell you what they want, you can reason with them and joke with them.
Soon (from 3) he'll start getting invites to birthdays all the time which is very sociable for you as well. And then when they start school it's much much easier again.
You're doing the hard yards now. It is lonely as hell sometimes. But keep doing what you're doing. It will get better.

Mcemmabell · 06/01/2024 08:20

It is lonely looking after small children. I found it hard at that age because your little one is too big for baby groups but too small to play on their own at soft play/the park while you get a chance to chat to a friend.

I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old and the 4 year old will talk my ear off, we can go to the shops, he'll play while I do stuff. I love the 2 year old so much, but when I'm alone with him I'm watching him play with cars for hours. It is lonely and it gets boring. I love when we can meet people or have people over but that's not sustainable all the time (especially because some of my friends clearly don't want to hang out with the person with a 2 year old).

I agree with you 100%, Saturday alone is the worst. There are no groups, no nursery and it seems like everyone is out with their family. Saturdays are my least favourite day of the week at the moment, but I know that'll change eventually.

violetcuriosity · 06/01/2024 08:20

Weekends are lonely. I get it. Try and make a routine x

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