Am I a bad person for feeling this jealousy?

[Bluebellmeadow]

I’m feeling really jealous at the moment. Two different friends of mine have already started 2024 with positive news. They’ve both had a tough year and are now going to be much better off than they were.

I’m still in the same position as 2023, struggling, but because we were all in the same boat before, I felt we all had a kind of misery in common.

Now I just feel so envious and I can’t even feel pleased for them. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Am I just a bad person ?

No, of course not.

Give yourself a bit of time and try not to let it interfere with your friendship, your time will come too - sometimes it just takes a bit longer.

Of course you’re not. Totally normal to feel envious and sad you haven’t had the same good fortune yet. Be kind to yourself, don’t add self recrimination on top of everything you’re coping with.

Wishing you tonnes of good luck for a dazzling 2024.

You're not a bad person as you can't help the way you feel but it isn't a good trait I'll be honest!

No you are so not a bad person you are just human.
Life has many twists and turns. Some great some not.

You are 5 days into 24… I think you have a little time for good things to happen.

It’s normal to feel a little bit of ‘why can’t I…” but very careful about dwelling on it. I’m assuming you don’t want to be that person.

Sorry OP, but jealousy really isn't a nice trait in a person. I have a family member who really suffers with the 'green eyed monster', and it makes me so sad, because when nice things happen for me, I no longer feel able to share them with her, as I know she won't be pleased for me no matter what. She has always been like this, and it's become clear over the years, that her first thought when something nice happens to someone else, is always, why can't I have/do/be that? Whereas whenever anything nice happens to her, I'm always the first to congratulate her, praise her or whatever is appropriate. I just hope that your jealousy didn't show when your friends told you of their good fortune, as if you let this side of you show too often, people won't want to spend time with you.

On the other hand, if this is unusual for you, and things are really tough right now, I think maybe you're a little depressed, and maybe a chat with your GP is in order?

You can’t help how you feel. You’re not a bad person as long as you don’t act on your feelings of jealousy and try to spoil things for them. Just remember that there isn’t a set amount of good luck to go around. Just because good things have happened to your friends doesn’t make them any less likely to happen to you. It’s only the start of the year. There’s plenty of time to turn things around.

You're not a bad person for feeling this way. None of us can help how we feel.

It wouldn't be nice to share that feeling with your friends though, hopefully a little rant here will get things off your chest so you can still have a nice time with them.

I hope 2024 brings you some good things too

Of course YANBU to feel that way, you re human, but you do need to move on pretty quickly as it will consume you and that's not nice. Sometimes people are just lucky. Sometimes though they have taken important difficult steps to improve their situation. It's useful to acknowledge how you feel and consider what changes you can make.

Personally, 2023 was the worst year of my life. Deaths in the family, illness which was bad luck, plus financial worries. I was also jealous of people posting about how wonderful their 2023 was etc. But that was a brief feeling. I moved on. Focusing on myself, not others.

I'd also feel, well, a mixture of emotions, very uncomfortable, distressed, envious etc especially as a mum, as, imho, it's likely the contrast of your own kids tough lives and your daily struggle with things like the unexpected bills that really does show up the unfairness of life. I'd think it's not so much the advantages the others in the family enjoy that are upsetting but that they don't have to suffer the constant pressures, limitations and responsibilities that you do. They seem unaware that you're in quite such a tough position - not just financially - and they come over as a bit insensitive with all this showcasing on Facebook, however well intentional it is. No, you're not a bad person at all, just human and sounds like you are a lovely mum.