To ask how to stop feeling stressed or upset on the behalf of others?

[GenZer]

I feel other people’s pain/suffering acutely. My friend lost her dog and I was stressed all day constantly refreshing social media, wanting to search everywhere possible and keep going all day. He was found eventually not too far away and my relief was huge

It’s culminated recently as DH misplaced an item sentimental to him and has been feeling stressed about the prospect of it being missing forever. Because he is sad it’s lost, I too am sad, and stressed, probably even more than he, and think about it more than he does.

He doesn’t understand why I can’t just move on with my day and leave him to his own issue, like he says, it’s not me who’s lost anything! Except it feels somehow worse to me than if it were my own misfortune.

Why do I feel for those close to me so acutely and how can I become less mentally responsible for them, in good and bad times?

I'm the same. We just have an over-developed sense of empathy. My ex used to say I felt empathy to a neurotic degree. I'm sorry but I'm 49 now and really don't think there's any way to cure it. I try to channel it in to good, using my sense of empathy to help others - people and animals.

I understand where you are coming from

Surely it’s a good thing that you recognise it?
Perhaps at times - when you are not stressed you need to reflect on these incidents and think about the next time something happens. This might help
You not to spiral

I try and channel what others have said during past incidents - usually along being patient, is it really worth the stress to your health?, what’s the worst that could happen? If that person is not too bothered why are you?

Its not easy but perhaps in times of calm you can analyse it a bit more and ‘be prepared for the next event’

No one wants you to stop being empathetic- but you can’t carry the load for everyone