My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To feel utterly disappointed/scared yet a hypocrite?

9 replies

ThemysteriousH · 05/01/2024 19:57

I had a phone call yesterday to be ready for next Thursday for my emergency but elective, surgery to have a tumour removed.

Went for all pre assessment tests today so their ready in time then 6pm have a phone call it’s rescheduled due to winter pressures. The surgeon is from England and I’m in Wales and he travels down. It’s highly specialised but I’d rather not disclose for anonymity.

I work in a hospital setting and whilst I’ve always empathised with pts that have had delayed surgeries for winter pressures (and during Covid), I feel like now I understand the disappointment personally, I really hope I never came accross patronising to anyone before.

My planned colonoscopy was brought forward to this Sunday (my birthday weekend too - added fun 😂), because I needed it before other surgery due to the recovery time of other surgery etc.
I’m still going ahead with colonoscopy- may as well get it done!

Sorry wanted to rant somewhere; I know it’s completely a first world problem and so much worse is going on in the world.

Just a bit scared I suppose, single parent of 2 DS at 31 and want to be healthy for them.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

17 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
24%
You are NOT being unreasonable
76%
Elphame · 05/01/2024 20:06

I'm sorry - the Welsh NHS is in a terrible state, far worse than England and it's just crumbling under the pressure.

It's 17 hour waits at our local A&E ( Bangor). My parents have moved back into England as they were so worried about the care they were getting from their Welsh hospitals.

airforsharon · 05/01/2024 20:07

So sorry that's happened. Yes it's happening to a lot of people but it's completely ok to be upset for yourself and your family - and it's often only by experiencing something we truly understand what it's like. That's perfectly normal, so please don't berate yourself for what you may/may not have said to people in similar circs before. You tried to empathise, and that's fine.

Hope your colonoscopy goes well. Have you been given any idea when your surgery might actually happen?

ThemysteriousH · 05/01/2024 20:36

@Elphame its so so bad. There’s so much I could say but for the sake of my job it’s not worth it, but things are dangerous 😞 I hope your parents are having a better experience

@airforsharon thank you for your lovely words, they’ve said hopefully 25th Jan - I just want it out so I need less treatment. It’s like I feel I’ve a timer in me.

OP posts:
airforsharon · 07/01/2024 17:09

ThemysteriousH · 05/01/2024 20:36

@Elphame its so so bad. There’s so much I could say but for the sake of my job it’s not worth it, but things are dangerous 😞 I hope your parents are having a better experience

@airforsharon thank you for your lovely words, they’ve said hopefully 25th Jan - I just want it out so I need less treatment. It’s like I feel I’ve a timer in me.

Ah, that's not too long to wait then - wishing you all the very best

ThemysteriousH · 08/01/2024 13:34

@Elphame all booked in for 25th so keeping everything crossed 🤞

Had my colonoscopy so can’t complain about that. Just worried with the wait for my tumour removal.. in the meanwhile they suspect there could be further unexplained activity in my endocrine system so been reffered to someone else because the endocrine surgeon doesn’t deal with the medical side? So looking potentially at more surgery.
I have a condition called MEN-2 which causes tumours so would make sense to find out if there’s more and get it all done in one go.

I’m just confused by it all now tbh. I don’t have much knowledge with this type of things so just going by what I’m told.
I do consider moving back to Oxford a lot but I don’t want to uproot DC.

OP posts:
CoffeeCantata · 08/01/2024 14:48

Good luck, OP, and I hope it all goes well!

(But on the interesting point you raise, yes - I've often thought that professional spout patronisingly about things they've never experienced! You wouldn't be the first.

I remember the Headteacher of the primary school I worked at dismissing the concerns of parents whose children hadn't got into the secondary school of their choice with 'Honestly, schools are all the same - what the hell are they fussing about?'. I just thought...hmmm, wait until it's your turn!

I think - if it's not something you've personally experienced, go carefully and show a bit of humility!)

But that comment isn't directed at you personally - just an observation over many years of dealing with health and education folk.

ThemysteriousH · 11/01/2024 06:05

@CoffeeCantata thank you :)

Yes I completely agree with you and in hindsight I can 100% genuinely now feel people’s frustrations. Whilst I did empathise, I probably didn’t feel the extent of their emotions so you are really right!

OP posts:
Elphame · 11/01/2024 12:46

Glad you have a new date!

I will definitely be keeping my fingers crossed for you xx

ThemysteriousH · 15/01/2024 21:15

@Elphame unfortunately looks like there’s more obstacles in the way, abnormal bloods (more abnormal than usual).

I’m fighting though, I want to get it done so at least that’s one thing sorted, these new worries that they have can wait, if anything I could get worse. I’m highly symptomatic and I just want some of my life back.

I should find out tomorrow I hope!

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.