My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Help with very moody menopausal friend

9 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 05/01/2024 19:37

Has anyone struggled with moodiness in menopause?
My friend is very much struggling and it's making her snappy, snippy and very difficult. I know it's hormonal. If you've suffered with this, what did your friends do that helped and what should I avoid?

OP posts:
whyamiawakestill · 05/01/2024 19:42

Has she specifically told you her moods are linked to menopause? Maybe just be there for her as a friend. Help navigate the HRT options and go out for nice walks and do lovely stuff with her to make her feel happy and loved.

Rangelife · 05/01/2024 19:43

I went straight into a surgical menopause in January after a hysterectomy. It definitely impacted on my mood and irritation levels and I got into three very uncharacteristic unpleasant interactions with two friends and DH. So I stopped drinking, increased my activity levels, went on HRT and really looked at my behaviour - I apologised, tried to acknowledge that my ego got in the way and took responsibility.

Your friends moods and responses aren't your responsibility, you shouldn't be walking on eggshells around her. It's not fair or a decent friendship if you are having to manage her.

crochetmonkey74 · 05/01/2024 20:00

whyamiawakestill · 05/01/2024 19:42

Has she specifically told you her moods are linked to menopause? Maybe just be there for her as a friend. Help navigate the HRT options and go out for nice walks and do lovely stuff with her to make her feel happy and loved.

She hasn't said it is but she is also very reluctant to go to docs. I think there's undiagnosed depression there as well. I feel like I'm working overtime to make her feel loved, and it's affecting my self esteem a bit as I am feeling a bit desperate and pathetic as she is often spiky with me

OP posts:
crochetmonkey74 · 05/01/2024 20:02

Rangelife · 05/01/2024 19:43

I went straight into a surgical menopause in January after a hysterectomy. It definitely impacted on my mood and irritation levels and I got into three very uncharacteristic unpleasant interactions with two friends and DH. So I stopped drinking, increased my activity levels, went on HRT and really looked at my behaviour - I apologised, tried to acknowledge that my ego got in the way and took responsibility.

Your friends moods and responses aren't your responsibility, you shouldn't be walking on eggshells around her. It's not fair or a decent friendship if you are having to manage her.

It is starting to chip away at me I must admit. I'm a bit of a 'rescuer' anyway and I want her to feel loved, but it's definitely getting harder

OP posts:
Tempnamechng · 05/01/2024 20:05

Her hormones aren't ever an excuse to treat people badly. She needs to talk to her doctor about controlling her moods.

crochetmonkey74 · 05/01/2024 20:10

I think I'm on the edge of very gently stepping away a bit as she's v stubborn and will not even consider the doctors.

OP posts:
SwirlyLight · 05/01/2024 21:50

See if she would consider some diet changes, but make it clear it’s not about her appearance. As we go into this time we have to look after our health so much more carefully. Dietary improvements won’t necessarily improve her mood but it can’t hurt.

SwirlyLight · 05/01/2024 21:53

I just saw your post. Yes, don’t feel you have to be responsible for her.

crochetmonkey74 · 21/01/2024 22:06

Sorry for resurrecting this thread but I'm at the end of my tether with her. I just organised a lovely birthday meal for her, which she wanted and knew about. Couple of days before she went cold again and just stopped really talking to me. I've tried to talk to her about it and she said she doesn't know what I'm talking about. I feel like I'm going mad . She's very conflict or confrontation averse, so will deny to the hilt.

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.