I 23F have had an emotionally abusive relationship with my parents for years. I have self-harmed and attempted suicide because of them in the past (very early teens). Eventually, I moved away and made somewhat of a life for myself but due to financial problems (I paid my own way through university and ended up in debt), I was forced to move home or be homeless. For the most part things were bearable until they recently weren’t.
My mum started borrowing money off of me (though I had very little to spare) and took her time paying it back. I ended up getting an overdraft that was maxed out every month. Foolishly I gave her my last £500 until payday and I keep hearing “I’ll pay you back Thursday” when she is paid but nothing yet (it’s been over three weeks and three pay days since).
My 35F sister have very little contact with our mum and no contact with our dad, her upbringing was worse than mine and involved physical abuse. She lives in Australia and I am due to move over shortly to reunite with her longterm (or as long as the visa allows) so any money I do have goes directly to repaying my debts (almost there) and towards Australia (directly to my sister so I don’t spend it). I currently have £5 in my bank until I’m paid again and I’m starting to panic because I still have to try find a way to pay for lunches and dinners. I don’t want to ask my sister for money because that will only invite a conversation as to why, my sister would only encourage me to relocate sooner but I don’t feel ready yet (I need my two pay cheques!).
To cut a long story short, I came home from work this evening and went into the kitchen, I said “boo” and startled my mother that much she came charging at me, screaming at me, and started aggressively kicking me. I have never been physical hit by her before so I am really taken back and shaking by what happened. My dad only took her side and told me I needed to start acting my age as though the “boo” wasn’t something harmless. It’s not out of the ordinary that we “scare” each other and everyone partakes in it, once my dad hid in my 15F sisters wardrobe to scare her. I just feel like this was my 13th reason and sealed the deal as to why they should never be in my life after I emigrate.
Yes, we also have a 15F sister who is treated much differently than us and incredibly loved and spoilt by our parents. I find it really hard to bond with her and find she has such an attitude towards me that my parents never correct her for. I feel guilty for saying it but I do have a lot of resentment towards her.
I have my flights booked but the only person who knows is my sister. I started getting rid of my stuff (charity shops, friends) so that when I leave, there’ll be nothing of me left here to ever return for (in the house). My plan is to literally relocate and cut all contact with my parents and never speak to them again. I don’t want them to have my number, my address, or anything to do with me. I feel bad for saying it but I don’t want to have a relationship with my younger sister either.
I’ve started to become very depressed and each day is a ticking time bomb until I get on the flight to freedom. I’ve gone to my GP a couple of times but there’s not much that they can do since I’m not on the verge of killing myself (one GPs literal words).
WIBU? I’ve never had any support or love from them growing up. I moved abroad before and we literally never spoke or called so I really don’t think I’ll notice any gap, even at uni they never checked in or visited.