Not coping with 7 month old

[jammydodge1]

I feel awful but I'm just not coping with my DD.

I've just put her to bed and crying in the bath because I feel like I've not shown enough love and affection today.

She's cut 2 teeth in 2 weeks, another 2 and coming through at the top, she's had RSV and still coughing a month on, her nose is running constantly, she's gone from being a happy and chilled out baby to refusing bottles, whinging all day no break apart from when she's eating, she's chewing and biting everything in sight, she rolls onto her front and then gets frustrated she can't move, she turns width ways in her cot every night and screams and screams, I move her back onto her back and the right way around and she just turns back over, it's like this continuously from about 1am-4am, rinse and repeat turning her back over in her cot.

DH called work off today (self employed) because I'm on my knees with tiredness, my house is an absolute state and we are moving in 3 weeks. On top of that I have an overexcited spaniel who has 2 hours of off lead walks a day and continues to run around, barge me if I'm not giving her attention etc. I feel like I can't breathe.

Please tell me that 7 months is hard and it gets better because I feel like I'm going to break 😩

7 months is about as hard as it gets, I reckon. They’re still SO dependent on you but they don’t just sleep all day like newborns. I was in a deep pit with my mental health at 7 months, really really struggling and miserable.

My son is 3 now and parenting is a joy. I love most of every day. It gets so much easier you can’t even begin to compare. I would have ten children if I didn’t have to get them through babyhood.

hang in there. I promise it gets better.

Honestly, I feel like I could’ve written your post myself. My LO is about the same age as yours. Permanently teething. Fights sleep to within an inch of her life. Can’t get her into any kind of pattern and can’t stay awake past 6. Everytime I look at the baby monitor she’s in a different spot, whacking her head on the bars and waking herself up when she’s turned horizontal.
Today I tried to give her calpol for her teeth and got about half in as she HATES IT (but only on some days, because why not) and will spit it out, fight me and get me to the point of dreading having to give it to her. No word of a lie. It can take two of us to give her calpol and even then there are no guarantees. I even tried putting it in a teat but she twigged what I was doing and doesn’t fall for it anymore.
I thought it was me but she is just a high needs baby and it sounds like yours is too.
Mine won’t sleep more than a catnap in the car, but only after screaming her lungs out and causing me so much distress I’m sure I’m not safe to even be driving. She won’t sleep in the buggy, because everything is too interesting. She will sometimes cat nap in the carrier, but no guarantees, but this does usually at least keep her calm until she tries to climb out when she’s bored.
No real advice because I’m also struggling (I was just crying in the shower rather than the bath!) but I have found that in that period after midnight when she wakes up and I’m so exhausted I can’t face keep trying to get her settled in her cot she will sleep in the bed happily and only wake for a feed. It’s not ideal, but sometimes needs must. At some point it is about survival. Do whatever you need to do.

I remember those days, so hard, your life is lived 24/7 with needs of baby. Sure you've all the recommended options... frozen chews, gum rubs. At that stage, other than calpol, the only thing I felt worked was a warm lavender bag around lower face and cuddling. Temporary but the warmth after calpol, being comforted with gum salts, basically everything at once! It's a phase and will get better honestly!! X

She must be over tired on that much sleep. Which will make your life harder. I’d work on getting her to nap at an age appropriate time, wakes at 6am, nap at 9.30? Then another one later in day. Can you help her extend time she naps. Put in pram at 9.15 and walk and walk and walk. Will she sleep 40plus minutes (which would be a good refreshing nap?). Or in cot like she sleeps at night? Don’t rush in if she wakes wait a few minutes or go in and pat gently to get her back to sleep? I’d really be working on the nap. I never had any teething issues with three kids but they all had good naps each day. I think teething (which some professionals will say isn’t painful) can be mixed up with tired ness which def makes babies grumpy and cry. I’d get a good routine for naps and food in place and see if everything else falls into place. Some babies get excited near a new development stage such as crawling, talking etc. one of mine always slept badly then, the other two it didn’t put them up or down with sleep. Hope things improve.

Is she more comfortable sleeping on her belly? If she’s uncomfortable widthways then by all means move her back, but if she is rolling to front by herself to sleep then you don’t need to roll her back into her back. She may wake less frequently if she is happier sleeping on her belly.

This was me op. Hated life and wanted to run away. Felt like this teething was going on forever and always a reason for everything. My LO is 13m now and we sleep trained her. LIFE CHANGING. I have my life back instead of sitting hours rocking her, waking up through the night and just feel at boiling point all the time. It might not be so extreme for you but I truly hated life. It took 3 DAYS and she was trained. If I knew it would take only 3 days I would have done it sooner. I regret not doing it earlier. When it's nap/bedtime we put her in her cot, close her room door and leave. That's it. We watch her on the video monitor and she sometimes takes 20min to fall off to sleep, but for that time she's just rolling around quietly until she falls asleep. Please consider sleep training. It's easier when they are little.

I feel like that every time one of mine is ill, life becomes grey and bleak and then when they stop being grizzly and grumpy I remember how I like them after all!

Mine is now 8 months and god I've found 4mnths to now the hardest. You are not alone x

Can someone help with the dog? I have a 4 month old and an elderly dog who needs a lot of attention and it’s been total hell at times. I’ve been so lucky to have family coming to take the dog out a few times a week and it’s been life saving.

It can be incredibly hard. Throw a puppy and moving soon into the mix and I don't blame you for feeling that way. My DD was such a hard baby, she screamed, never slept. The only thing that helped was that I would pop her into the pram each day and I'd walk every pavement in town. If I stopped for even a second she would roar crying. It was the only way she would sleep. Be kind to yourself and accept any help that is offered. Other than your DH, do you have a wider support network?
x

OP, you are not alone. My DD is almost 4 now but when she was 7-9 months old is ingrained in my mind as what felt like absolute torture. I distinctly remember being half passed out on her bedroom floor with my hand through the bars of the cot just willing her to please sleep and give me some reprieve. She too had been poorly for what seemed like forever and her sleep just went to total rubbish - she didn't nap, she didn't sleep at night and all day she just grumbled and was generally unpleasant.

I sympathise right down to the nutty spaniel, because I have one of those too. I honestly don't know how I got through those months but a few things that helped me were:
Putting our spaniel in a different room to us for parts of the day (usually our dining room with a baby gate into our living room so she could still see us but not clamber all over me) - I got to the stage where I felt so touched out that I couldn't face the dog on me too.
To ease the guilt of putting the dog away and to feel closer to my DD at a time where she seemingly enjoyed nothing - I enforced a routine of "get up, get fed, get dressed, get out". I strapped DD to me with a sling and walked and walked and walked with the dog in the morning. Sometimes DD would nap a bit but otherwise she didn't "hate" this activity like so many others at the time so it felt like a positive thing to do.
Edited to add that I've since seen you can't wear a sling. If she's not whining in the pushchair i'd do this with a pushchair too (I only wore a sling because most of the walks around us are very hilly).
Harder because you're moving soon, but I generally left all household tasks to DH at this point - if I were you, I'd rope in as much help as possible while you prepare for the move.
Take care of yourself as much as possible, take that bath, hide in the kitchen with chocolate, drink a hot cup of tea, tag in grandparents for a full night sleep and don't feel guilty for one second. I can tell from your post you give every ounce of your being to your DD (I could have written your post at the very same point), you deserve to give yourself a break too.

Lastly, as much as everyone said it to me at the time and as much as I didn't believe them, this phase shall pass. At the time it felt endless but looking back, the really bleak point probably wasn't as long as I thought it was at the time, it's just when you're giving everything you have you cannot see the wood for the trees. Hang in there, take all the help you can, things will get better.

@mumsytoon how did you sleep train your LO? I’m at this hellish 7 month teething/ill/sleep regression/just learning to crawl phase and it’s awful. My LO only sleeps being held and rocked but now even that doesn’t work.

God I'm reading these replies in tears (still eating chocolate alone on the sofa enjoying 5 minutes peace before I give up my alone time and go to bed 😂).

Can't thank you all enough for sharing your stories and advice.

So sorry to those who know this kind of torture 😵‍💫

I feel so bad on our dog but she isn't a puppy, she's been well trained for 8 years and I feel so guilty that baby is having a negative affect on her (the barging etc is all stuff she was trained not to do and since baby was about 2 months old, we cannot get her to stop). I love her so much and feel guilty when she goes to my dads (I don't know why as she's stayed with them lots and even goes on a holiday with them every year to their cottage in Wales) but it's one less being that needs me to look after them and I need the rest.

Just to be clear also, I'm not moving DD from her tummy when she's asleep and comfortable, god I'd never wake a sleeping baby unless it was life or death 😂 she spins around in her sleep and she's currently in the mamas and papas mini cot which is fine for her length ways but if she goes widthways she gets stuck and then screams and screams because her head is on the bars and her feet poking out the other and she is stuck like it. (She wears a sleeping bag to bed so how she gets both legs through the bars like she does is beyond me).

I'm hoping when she can crawl or do whatever to get herself about, this whinging will ease off. She currently lays on her stomach spinning herself around with one knee/leg and screams in frustration with her arms out focusing on whatever it is she wants.

Roll on toddlerhood 🥳 things cant get harder surely?! 😂

Can you move her into a toddler size cot bed? Then she would not get stuck if she moved round?

I remember DD always getting a cold when she was teething & she would not be able to develop in any way. As soon as she got better she would start coming along with things like crawling.

Can you afford a dog walker? You're so lucky btw as we never got help with our dog. I'm sure they love going to your parents so don't feel guilty!

We are moving in a couple of weeks so she'll have her own room and her new cot bed is in the garage waiting to be put up so hopefully that solves the getting stuck.

I was up at 3am with her having a coughing fit, called 111 as she was gasping for breath in between coughs, saw dr and they prescribed her a white inhaler (atrovent I think it's called?) to dry up some of the phlegm, she said it's RSV and called the 100 day cough for a reason 😔

Dropped DD at my parents (I said if keep her home as we'd been up all night but they insisted DH and I get a good night sleep), she was happily playing with her toys as I left after wolfing down chicken casserole, a fruit smoothie and some melon.

Having snuggles with dog on the sofa whilst DH cooks a curry, early night and hopefully I'm back on form tomorrow. On the way back from the doctors with DD this morning, I was so tired I was speaking utter nonsense to DH, I couldn't get words out correctly to form a sentence and it scared him, he thought I'd had a stroke but I am just exhausted. Can see why they use sleep deprivation as a method of torture!

I promise it does get better. I remember being on my knees when my dd was little. She wasn't a great sleeper and needed me constantly and I felt like a crap mum for just wanting a bit of time on my own. Then all of a sudden they stop catching every germ that even looks in their direction, they start sleeping and getting personalities. Mine is 13 now and life is quite chilled the worst bit is she stays awake later than me. It will pass I promise

I know it’s not everyone’s experience but I consider toddlers to be an absolute doddle compared to babies! It’s so, so much easier - if only because sleep will almost certainly be better. Hang in there. The broken nights feel truly endless when you’re in them but it does end!

Sorry to hear you’re going through a tricky time at the moment OP. I haven’t read through the whole thread but my baby also used to roll on her tummy and then cry that she couldn’t roll back.

Does she roll in both directions? My baby only ever rolled to the right. I wedged her up against the side of the cot so she could no longer do it and this worked for us until she managed to master rolling back!

Sending positive vibes!