to send him a message or not?

[bouncingballer]

Posting on behalf of DH as we disagree.

DH is a private contractor and self employed. He has a very long waiting list (2 years) for his services (deliberately vague). One man, John, asked DH for a slot for his services. DH said that he would have availability from January.

DH moved things around to accommodate John as he seemed keen/desperate - John lives 40 mins away and DH has other clients in this area on one day - so DH spent a lot of time with me going through his schedule to make it work. We successfully found time and messaged John. John accepted the time and agreed to begin next week. Several messages were exchanged to confirm and everything was set.

DH then sent a contract - it’s pretty easy going, there is no minimum term, but it does stop last minute cancellations (less than 24h) and is probably a more generous contract (for the client) than most in this profession.

Today, days after confirming but before signing the contract, John text to simply say DH’s “services are no longer required”.

DH is very angry. It messes with his schedule and organisation and also makes him feel pretty hard done by. How would you approach this?

DH wants to send a message letting John know that he is unhappy. Not an angry message but one that explains how disappointed he is. John also said that he may look to get DH’s services later, but of course, there is no chance.

I don’t see the point of messaging. John is obviously entitled and even if he signed the contract, he’d still be in his right to cancel as he has today with no penalty. It’s annoying but life.

YABU - DH should message him
YANBU - DH should not message him.

YANBU. Your husband has no clue what has changed with John in the meantime.

Absolutely do not message him but obviously never do any work for him in future.

Very unprofessional to even think of sending a message like that to a customer.

Goodness me don't do anything! it's just part of life - sometimes people inconvenience us.

YANBU, it’s ok to message him. I would say something.

“John, your decision to cancel with short notice is inconvenient and disappointing, given I took you on good faith and organised my schedule to accommodate you, which cost me time and caused me inconvenience. I suggest that next time you engage a contractor, that you think carefully about whether their services are required before asking them to accommodate you.

Regards”

DH should not respond except in a polite, professional, manner, ie "thanks for letting me know".

DH has no idea of why John cancelled, maybe one of his parents died or is in intensive care.

If DH is really this upset about a normal situation such as a cancellation then he needs to work out why he is taking his anger out on John instead of the real reason.

I once had a very traumatic life event. This meant I had to cancel a holiday. Lots of unbooking to be done etc at a time when I was very distraught. I forgot to cancel a restaurant. They called me and were rude about it and never let me explain. It really upset me and it occurred at a funeral reception. Thats how off it was.

It’s a fact of service industry that people let you down and cancel. Just accept it and move on. This type of cancellation is worked into how you operate and your terms and conditions. Or at least it should be. An in demand professional can ask for all sorts of provisions against this happening. Not least of all prioritising slots for existing in contract customers or taking deposits before setting aside time.

Be professional and just say thanks for letting me know.

I wouldn’t send anything at all. Definitely not a negative message, although I’d also be really pissed. And I’d never engage with him again. No chance of future “services”.

I wouldn’t message, but would undertake work for him in the future. If your DH is that busy he can pick and choose clients.

No need to message except to thank John for letting him know and warmly wishing that he finds the right tradesman for the job when the time is right.
Going forward I would not be dealing with John, amending my contract to allow longer cancellation period and also not moving my other clients around until the contract is signed.

Yup ‘sadly I have no availability at this time’ is DHs stock response now to any further requests for service from John. For now, just say ‘understood, thank you’ or similar. The less you say, the less likely it is to bite you later!

Definitely don't message him except for saying thanks for letting me know like pp suggested. Who knows why he cancelled. Even if his reason was trivial sending him a text message is highly unprofessional and could backfire if word somehow spreads.

I wouldn't dream of messaging a client like that under any circumstances. It would be wholly unprofessional and can do more harm than good, I would just thank John for letting you know and leave it at that. I have a waiting list for my services too and this does happen from time to time, there could be any number of reasons. No contract was signed so no services have been undertaken. It's that simple.

Surely your husband has had cancellations before. Why such angst ? And if he has a two year waiting list then he can book someone else in. Of course he shouldn’t get all teenage girl being stood up about it.

We do know why he cancelled

DH had been begged by John to help him out as they were desperate, DH invested time on the phone to understand their situation and offered help. He turned down other clients to give the slot to John which he has had now for a few weeks to begin next week. It took meticulous planning to get John into the schedule.

John cancelled because they have found someone else, even though he’d agreed the time and details with DH weeks ago. It is not the type of job where you get quotes or anything. John also said in the message that if it doesn’t work out with this person he will use DH instead - DH finds this attitude entitled and disrespectful of his time. This will impact DH’s livelihood as a result. He can easily find other clients but he now needs them to be in this specific location due to travel time and will take a hit until his replacement is secured. We organise his diary months in advance.

DH had wanted to send something like @mottytotty suggested.

@bouncingballer I knew from your OP it would be something like that.

Whether you decide to send a message or not, I hope DH never gives John the time of day again.

Is it really necessary to use sexist and ageist language like ‘getting all teenage girl’ about it? Shame on you.

I'm guessing he's a driving instructor or similar based on the way you've described it. I am a driving instructor myself so I do understand the planning, effort and feeling of being undervalued at some times. But it is part and parcel of the job and a lesson on boundaries for DH and John. I wouldn't send a text. That would be really unprofessional. He's allowed to feel miffed, but that's about it.

Def do not message. He will sound unhinged.

I'm self employed and have had this type of behavior. The best response is either nothing, or "Noted. Regards DH."

The client then goes on my list of people I never work with, ever again.

In future, tighten up his T and Cs. Make it impossible for this to happen again.

No good deed goes unpunished.

I'm self-employed. I wouldn't text as he cancelled within the period. However, I'd look at lengthening the notice period and, if it's normal practice in his industry, looking at including something in the contract for penalties/compensation for cancelling at short notice as well as for preparatory work before starting on a job

Thanks all. DH has been swayed and will simply say he’s received the message.

Not a driving instructor. DH’s field is very specialist in an area and there’s not many of them, but I suppose not too dissimilar from the process of a driving instructor and finding one that’s reputable. I am certain he will come crawling back. It has happened before and he’s received lots of messages of regret when it’s happened too.

I’ve had similar situations in my business (self employed)

there’s nothing really you can do, I follow my mums mantra

dignity at all times.

then I take the paperwork to the shredder, and shred head first - very satisfying 😉

John is entitled but not in the way you and DH are saying he is. He is very much entitled to cancel work if the services are no longer required, he did it with more than 24 hours notice which the contract (that he didn’t sign) DH made so he isn’t in breech of any contract. Yes it’s annoying he’s spent time arranging things but sometimes that’s just the way it goes. Definitely wouldn’t be sending any messages other than to acknowledge he’s received his cancellation message. If DH doesn’t want to book John in again in the future that is his prerogative

This ^

Agreed^

Never message in those circumstances, it looks unprofessional and like a strop. Rise above, never accept work from John again.