For making my husband miserable

[Pastasauceee]

I’ll preface by saying I feel like IABU so feel free to vote that way.

We have our wonderful DD (2) and generally a good relationship but I feel like I’m making him miserable recently.

I have no friends, and very surface contact with my family for many reasons. I’ve never had an issue making friends, but I’ve had a lot of mental health problems and have drifted apart from everyone throughout life changes and moving counties to be nearer DHs family. I struggle to open up and friendships feel very surface level (on my side, people generally open up to me a lot).

Because I have no one to talk to, and I’m a SAHM when I get sad about things and come to him to talk. It’s often relating to him and our relationship (because that’s all I have tbh) and I know I’m insecure and need reassurance. We’ve been talking tonight he’s said it’s wearing him down because he feels like I’m constantly telling him what he’s doing wrong.

The problem is I agree with him! I try to balance it with nice things but it just bubbles up until I blurt out a bunch of things I’m worried about. I’m too low to just brush it all under the rug and he notices if I try to anyway and it all comes out.

I’m really struggling to make mum friends as everyone is either grouped up or never replies to my attempts to meet up. Even if I do magically meet some friends tomorrow I feel like I’m so socially stunted at this point that it would take years to feel comfortable enough to talk about anything past the weather and I feel by that point my husband will have had enough of me.

I’m on therapy waitlists and am trying to do what I’ve done in the past but I think the crux is I need people to have adult conversations with. I get sad and lonely and I think I know that because he cares he will talk to me about my problems, but then it just makes him sad!

Basically I know IABU for being this way but I don’t know how to get out of it. Please help

Sounds mean…

Well let’s not let the lack of kindness on that thread impact the giving of it here. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Thank you so much everyone, the kindness you have shown means the world to me. I’m going to act on the suggestions and have been looking at what is available in terms of help groups/activities and PT work. I’ve looked in the past but always put it off as I felt like I should prioritise spending time with my daughter or felt the timings were too awkward but I think I can do it now thanks to your support. DH is very supportive in this regard I think I needed the encouragement to get past my own brain. He’s also happier today after talking about it more and he said he doesn’t think I’m unreasonable just in a tough spot so I guess that’s the voting sorted!

Thinking it through I used to get out more with DD but the toddler groups are still shut for winter break here and we had a lot of illness before Christmas so I think the extended lack of socialising has made it worse. I would also worry about it a lot when we did go that I didn’t know anyone or hadn’t made any friends but I think reading here I just need to enjoy it for what it is for my DD and any thing else is a bonus.

I would like to write individual replies but honestly I overthink too much so it takes longer than I can get while DD is occupied so I might not be able to.

Lastly I’m sorry other threads haven’t received the same support. I don’t really know what to do about it as I don’t honestly have a lot headspace available atm but I’m truly grateful for the response I have gotten and I hope I can make the time you spent replying worth it and do you proud.