To think skin lightening is understandable?

[stella1091]

I'm half black but have been told I'm "white passing" so fortunately I've not encountered much racism or felt my race was ever a barrier in getting jobs, dating, etc..

My cousins who are fully black moved to Ireland and England and while things have been generally good, they have had several bad experiences with people treating them differently based on their skin colour.

Nearly all of them have been subjected to racial slurs and a few say that people in public places (when out in a nightclub, party, social gathering) would ignore them and be more likely to approach their white friends. They also say that they've applied for the same jobs as their white friends and been called back for far fewer of them.

My female cousin who is the same age (in her mid 20s) started lightening her skin when she was 20. She's in her mid-20s now and looks totally different. At first everyone around her was shocked but accepted it was her body. According to her, the difference in how she's been treated has been day and night. She's far more approachable to people (both guys interested in dating her as well as random people asking for directions). She's also gotten far more calls for jobs in her acting agency after she updated her profile photos of her lighter skinned.

I know the topic of skin lightening/bleaching is very taboo and while it can be harmful, I just don't see why it's considered more shameful than people undergoing dangerous plastic surgery to become more desirable.

I think people should "hate the game and not the player" when it comes to skin bleaching (i.e. the society that pressures people to lighten their skin as opposed to the people wanting to be more accepted).

I can really comment as I'm white and that would be arrogant but I did watch the Tan France doc on skin whitening which was distressing in terms of the experiences of racism.
When I've travelled around Asia I really noticed how normalised skin lightening ha as the products are advertised on billboards and made by mainstream cosmetic brands.j guess it's not a taboo there.

Your last paragraph has it - It's not shameful for the person doing it, it's shameful for society and everyone who's ever made that person feel that they have to.

I'm sorry that your family have experienced that racism.

Out of interest, is your cousin happy with how she looks now, or does she wish it was not necessary? Or, I suppose it could be both.

If every black person in the UK bleached their skin to to be 'more accepted' and 'approachable' then would we have a brown skinned people? It's considered shameful because it shows that you do not love your brown skin and are not comfortable in it. These women will go on to have children who, guess what will have brown skin and what are you teaching your children. Yes we may get looked past for a job and have to work harder for somethings but that is life. And you think I'm going to bleach my skin so that Callum can ask for my number....pls.
Hate the game?! LOL

I’m confused, do skin lightening creams really have a material impact on someone’s skin colour so that they can appear a different race or mixed race when they’re not?

In the adverts I’ve seen in Asia, there is a noticeable but not dramatic difference between the ‘before’ and ‘after’.

It can make some people have the skin tone of a mixed race person yes. But others will just be a lighter tone like Rhianna or Beyonce. It all depends on the tone of skin to begin with, how much skin lightening they're doing and the method they're using.

Who would blame the person? The racism and colourism that drives people there , yes.
It’s ironic when white people try to darken their skin with tans even now that we know the dangers(and some people still using tanning beds).

I don’t like it because I think instead of changing yourself to fit into what others deem acceptable, we should be encouraging each other to accept others for who they are.

Unfortunately, some people’s experience are awful though and although I feel saddened about them doing it, I don’t blame them.

I do know many people do it unsafely and so I think having these conversations are really important.

I’m white but I think it is awful that people have to use possibly dangerous chemicals to change their appearance. I have similar concerns about a lot of procedures that white women such as fillers, Botox and breast implants.
On some of the points raised you may find it interesting to watch a video called “Yellow Fever” by Kenyan Ng’endo Mukii and read a poem called “Folks here are dying to get brown” by the Jamaican Louise Bennett.

Most people who self-tan do not use sun beds, they use one of the hundreds of self-tanning lotions/sprays on the market.

I think each to their own, if it’s ok to darken your skin with injections or sunbeds it’s ok to lighten your skin

Skin lightening products contains Mercury which can damage the kidneys, also contains high levels of hydroquinone, if used long term damages the kidneys and liver, and other toxic material. After a while the skin will become so thin to the point where you'll be able to see the veins. You can't expose your skin to the sun either, thats why a lot of the women who use it in Africa and the caribbean have damaged their skin for good. For one it's not safe, and secondly I've observed that girls with mothers who bleach are most likely to bleach too, because they are not confident in themselves.

I wouldn't say its always about racism(colourism maybe) They bleach a lot in African countries specially Congo, but its mainly the women who bleach. It's a mental brainwashing because they consider light to be beautiful and a way to guarentee a marriage proposal, better job etc. It has become part of self care to bleach.

It's sad that society and the "game" is one that people feel the need to do this.
Perhaps it's the most obvious body modification directly connected to racism and colonialism even though a lot of plastic facial surgery is also based on "whitening " features.
However this is specifically a female issue, and goes together with the beauty industry and when you think about it, it's not too different to all the other things women do to make themselves desirable to men.

I definitely wouldn’t ‘hate’ anyone for bleaching their skin but I would feel incredibly sad for them that they clearly don’t love such a special part of themselves.

A PP made a good point about the message it sends to our children. It basically says racists must be right and being white or lighter is better. I would feel disappointed with a black or mixed race person for perpetuating this thinking.

Similarly, as a woman, I can understand why some women might perpetuate negative ideas about how we should be submissive to men etc. to fit into a misogynist society…I hate the game not the player, but I’m still disappointed by them.

Finding it Understandable is different from feeling "Oh that's fine" as though the preference was between chocolate or vanilla ice cream or something equally trivial.

If you use those products then you are colluding with a prejudice that "lighter is better". I can't feel 'fine' about that happening. I feel fairly similar about people straightening their kinky hair, although I suppose the argument for that might be about making long hair more manageable.

I'm dark skin Asian, Iv suffered lots of abuse because of it, men have told me I'm pretty but too dark, my light skin counterparts always got more attention and chatted up whereas I was usually ignored. if they was a safe affordable skin lightening treatment that worked I be using it !

I would argue that it's not how others have perceived the skin lightening of your cousin favourably but that by her doing so she has felt more confident in herself and that is what others have recognised when she has applied for a job or made new friends etc.

I think it's sad and somewhat bizarre. Many White people deliberately damage their skin to achieve a Tan while some people who were born the colour those white people are desperate to achieve are bleaching their skin to be the colour of the first lot.

What are we like.

It is very harmful for skin, there is no such thing as risk free skin bleaching. It is not safe. I hate the game but also judge the player who whitens their skin because I don't think the benefits you have listed outweigh the negatives.
And yes society is flawed, but being a dark skinned boss who succeeds despite this sends a far more powerful message to our children than a light skinned version of themselves succeeding, as this plays into the false and racist narrative

I’m so sorry that you’ve experienced this.

But, rather than wishing there was a safe affordable skin bleach in the hope of attracting someone so ignorant that they think your colour lessens your beauty, I would be happy that your skin is a tool to weasel out those racist pricks…

They are wrong - you’re skin isn’t ❤️

Skin lightening has been around for a long time. In the 1600s they used lead, which could damage skin, cause hair loss, lead poisoning and sometimes death. It's a sad indictment on society that the idea lighter skin is somehow better has survived this long. This is a complex and emotive issue. I feel for anyone like the OPs sister that has felt like they need to make big changes to who they are to be accepted in society. Racism is disgusting and while the roots of a lot of colourism can be traced back to racism during colonial times it is now an issue that exists seperate of racism too. It's also a sexist issue as when it's colouration, not racism, it's mostly women whose skin tone is judged. India for example is a place where women feel pressured to and some spend a lot of money on lightening their skin tone.

Colourism is rarely spoken about but it's a very real oppression. Lighter skinned people of colour are treated differently because their lighter skin is seen as closer to 'whiteness'. It's sad that desirability makes people want to bleach their skin but desirability and lightness goes beyond dating preferences and it can impact jail sentences, birth outcomes etc.

I think we also have to also realise that you can be mixed race and darker skinned, mixed race people are not always very fair skinned, and like eyes and loose curls.

This is also my experience growing up. I have reached a stage in my life where I have accepted that I have the skin I’ve been given and it cannot be changed but if I’m honest, I’d swap for fairer skin in a heartbeat if there was a safe way of doing so. It’s impossible to describe how much it affects you when all you’ve been told since childhood is that ‘you would be so beautiful if your skin was lighter’. It still is very strong in South Asian countries.

Things are changing for the better in the western world - people with darker skin are chosen more often as models and the message that dark is beautiful is getting out there but it can’t undo all the years of abuse. I hide my feelings from DC who - like most children - see a beautiful women as their mother. Deep down, I’m just grateful they inherited their skin tone from fair skinned DH, not because dark is unattractive but purely so they don’t experience any negative prejudices

I have a few experiences of using bleaching creams when I was younger, but to be honest it was what was inside that needed acceptance not what was on the outside. I choose not to use skin bleaching creams anymore as I have since learned they have cancer causing chemicals and I prefer my natural dark brown skin and frankly I dont want to look white, I had a lot of self hate when I was younger, but who can blame me we are living in a Eurocentric world 🌍 brown/black/yellow beauty was seen as other or exotic

When I was 17/18 I was using bleaching creams my parents in particularly my mum had got from behind the counter Afro Caribbean hair shops in London, my mum is not extremely dark but used the creams in her opinion to sort out the dark patches on her face. She gave me creams and charged me for the privilege- after a couple of months I was whiter skinned then my mixed race daughter in the winter. All my college classmates and teachers were in awe - the black classmates new I was bleaching and probably were chatting rubbish about how I wanted to be white etc I didn't have any notable role models and I did for a long time hate myself. I wore contacts and straight hair and wanted to stay thin just to fit into the European ideal. Today if you looked at me I look completely different to that girl all those years ago and I refuse to even touch bleaching cream as I saw a documentary a long time ago and it showed some old Jamaican lady and her skin was finished from years of bleaching... and how it can cause skin cancer, that put me off for ever.

Does Beyoncé bleach her skin? I think she’s always denied it but she certainly looks paler than she used to. Unless this is photo editing? I guess if young black women see people like Beyoncé looking paler then it fuels it as a trend/desirable.