To avoid my neighbour

[Cherryhill22]

So I am having anxiety today following dinner with a neighbours family. My son plays with their 2 kids. Their family are chaotic but can be kind to us in inviting us over for dinner. The children appear to be screen junkies and the mother is very angry about this. She works alot and leaves them with their father. On arrival at their house their mother asked where my husband was and why he wasn't playing out in the street with my son. I think she likes this because her kids can join in. I told her it was winter so we were playing inside. She then asked my son if he wanted a little sister to play with. This really upset me as I have told her I only want one (I nearly died having him). I just feel sick to my stomach today with anxiety because I feel like a failure. We are such a happy family but it feels like it will never be enough for some people. I feel like everyone sees children like a Noah's arc line up and my little gorgeous child is the odd one out.

Anyway aibu or oversensitive here?

Can't understand why you are sick with anxiety following those exchanges, seems a bit excessive really. Are you getting help for your anxiety?

People need to learn not to comment on other people's reproduction already. It's so rude. You're not alone, lots of people choose to have single children, and some have no choice . Maybe come up with some stock responses for situations like this , "baby cherry is lucky enough to get all of mama and dada cherry's attention" "tinkly laugh followed by baby cherry isn't in charge of how many kids we have"

Thank you. I do have anxiety and worry a lot. I think her comment set it off.

Just ignore it, I don't think any of what was said was personal. Everybody is different, just do your own thing and be proud of it.

I'm sorry it sounds like she was thoughtless but you shouldn't be crippled with anxiety over a thoughtless comment. Nor even an overtly judgmental comment tbh. Based on what you've written your anxiety is somewhat uncontrolled and perhaps you need to seek medical advice to avoid it negatively impacting your son? I don't at all mean that unkindly but hiding and feeling so crippled after such a minor interaction seems so disproportionate that I can't see how it's going to not impact life for your child.

The small and meaningless interaction doesn't warrant this level of anxiety.
It also doesn't warrant a long character assassination post. Your neighbour's parenting skills are no justification for how you are feeling and aren't relevant to your question.

I don't think you are being over-sensitive. It seems as though the neighbour is seeing your husband as a way to get her children out of the house and occupied.
She's either insensitive or downright rude when it comes to talking about you having another baby if she knows your history. Take a deep breath and think of all the positives about your wee family and try to not give her any more head space. And I'd be looking to be busy when the next invitation to pop round for a meal appears. Create some boundaries so she's not as reliant on you for subtle childcare.

She sounds a bit dense. A lot of people are. Try not to read anything into it, but fine to avoid people who do your head in.