Aibu to be annoyed? (Long rant! Sorry!)

[HeadphoneIssues]

Went to work, got a text from DH to pick up some shopping. Did so. Left for 1/2 hr commute home. Halfway, Got another text asking for more shopping. So decided to come home and get bags as too much to just carry, plus needed a wee. Got home, wee, straight back out to the shops. Got home, not even sat down and get a work call out, so another commute in and home again. By this stage it is 10pm. Get yet ANOTHER text asking for washing liquid in the way home. I say this is taking the piss, I am knackered, but stop at petrol station, get the siding washing up liquid and finally get home.
Sit in couch and cant even mister the energy to go up and change and go to bed! Finally go up.
Have to get up at half four to do a shift at work. At just after two i am woken by DH shuffling around in my dresser. He is apparently looking for my phone ear buds so he can go to sleep listening to YouTube as he has left his charger to his at work. I get cross. He tells me it's not a big deal, questions why I am annoyed.
This is where I lose the plot.
There is literally no scenario where I dont get disturbed.

1. he finds them and I merrily go off to work thinking i have them in my coat pocket (where they were) and they arent. Or, as he says he would have text me to tell me, I have to pluck them.out of his ear and disturb him (which i wouldnt) or if I did, they would probably be flat from being used overnight. OR inwould have to have been disturbed to unpair them from my phone which was his next request!! 2)he says if he didnt have them he would have listened without ear phones which would have disturbed me anyway! AIBU to think actually YOU forgot your charger so for one night, YOU have to sleep without them? To add insult to injury, he doeant understand why I am annoyed, they wont even now connect to his phone AND when I tried to explain why he was annoyed he said "I am not the one annoyed and talking about it is annoying you, so i dont want to talk about it and annoy you further" And now i am.wide awake at half two and have to get up in two hours after about 2 hours sleep!! Sorry for the rant!

Smother him while he sleeps and write a shopping list while you are awake

Why is he asking for shopping?

What's stopping him from popping going out of his way to go to the shops on his way home?

If he's using all this crap, why isn't he replenishing it?

I think you need to send HIM multiple shopping lists in a day and wake him repeatedly overnight to see how much of a big deal it is.

Better still, get him to bring you things to your workplace that you NEEEEEEED. Then wait until he’s almost home and demand more things… Also wake him up the night before as well, so he’s starting on a sleep deficit.

This is totally, totally unacceptable.

After the second shopping request you should have replied “sorry too late just left the shop.” End of.

After the headphone thing you should leave him. A man who cares that little about you is not worth your time. Genuinely.

If you’re not ready to leave him yet, he at LEAST needs to sleep in a different room or on the sofa when you have an early shift.

Does he work?

You seriously went shopping for a 3rd time to get washing liquid. No way. Who needs washing up liquid at that time.

Is this usual behaviour for him? He doesn't seem very respectful of your time, sleep or things.

You need to seriously set some ground rules..
The fact you had a work call out between all of that too?
Put a shopping list on the fridge and let him add to it during the day, when you go off to work take it with you and set a rule that if its not on todays list... tough luck, it has to wait till tomorrow. Apart from toilet rolls there is nothing else that is that desperately needed that you have to detour all these shops on the way home.
You have to put yourself first or you'll burn out. You cant work on 2 hours sleep.!
Does he not want you doing this job? Sounds a bit like he's seeing how far he can push you before you break and give it up!!
Hope your day is better today x

Just to add to my post -
Don't let him borrow your ear plug/head phone things! Thats disgusting! Those things find and pull out earwax from even the cleanest of ears. You'll have his wax pushed in your ears 🤮 Its a pet peeve of mine 😆

I agree he needs a taste of his own medicine. He doesn’t sound malicious but does sound utterly, utterly selfish. If he’s used to you running round after him without complaint he may wonder why you are kicking off now but tell him it is long overdue and the 2hrs sleep is the final straw. He has got to be more considerate of you if he loves you bc he is genuinely putting your physical and mental health at risk, unintentionally or not.

Why didn't you just say you'd already been to the shops? You surely didn't really need to go again

He sounds thick. Do you find that attractive? Gormlessly texting shopping list items at night time, making them be your responsibility and then sharing your ear wax, ruining your sleep and wondering what on earth the issue is? Not the type of bloke I’d find appealing.

when you arrived home why didn’t you just say ‘sorry I couldn’t carry any more shopping, you’ll have to get it yourself if it’s needed’ ? If you didn’t feel like you could say that to him you need to work on, or leave, your marriage

Write a shopping list. Send him 1 item every 20 mins....

He sounds very inconsiderate. Does he work?

No is a full sentence.... Say No more!

It's not just your DH that's a problem, but also your work.
It sounds like you're expected to be available/ on call late in the evening, and then be back in work very early the next morning? With many jobs, there is a legal requirement that all staff have adequate down-time between one shift and the next, so you can get a decent amount of rest/sleep....

I think he sounds a bit useless that he can’t go to the shops himself, or at least arrange one simple list? And it’s totally inconsiderate for him to behave that way knowing you’re on an early shift.

However, you chose to repeatedly go back and forth to the shops when you could have just said no, I’ve been it can wait until morning/ you go get it. I wouldn’t have been running myself ragged back and forth. I also agree with above poster than your work sounds frankly, intolerable and surely illegal conditions to be working out until 10 on call and then required back so early?

Why did you go back to the shops!

If I had messaged after you’d already been once I would have accepted I’d have to wait another day or go myself. He’s being inconsiderate and you’re being a mug.

I'm back.

So the first stop was only two items, from the shop next to work.
Then the next text was initially milk, then added thing after thing in the space of about 10 mins. I had left work and was on the motorway. Given the things wanted I would have had to drive past home. 2 of the kids wanted a trip out as had been in all day due to dh and I both working. Yes dh was home at this point though. So hence the stop off and wee stop. The constant shop requests is an issue inam currently pushing back on. I had said no to something the night before as indidnt finish work until 8. He went out and got it.

Work hours are fine. Two early starts, early finishes. One or two late finishes per month. The rest are 8-6ish. 5 or 6 days a week depending. Yes, have opted out of working time directive. call outs are unusual and if they are late late middle of the night we usually get some time off, but this wasnt a long ine, I just live 1/2 hour away.

Yes dh works. Also 1/2 hour but by train then 20 min walk home. He is typical 9_5 job. Usually discovers we are out of something when he gets home as kids have been hurricanes. So texts me "as you're out anyway so its easier"

Tbh the shopping and work but was just as Context. Inwas more annoyed about the headphones and sleep! I get up that early so I can shower and breakfast and drive in.

Sharing ear buds is grim. Lent mine to a teen ds once..
<shudders >never again.

Justifiable homicide. No one would convict you .