To think that there's lots of pressure on young women to find a man and settle down

[Coralinea]

I am in my mid 30s and married. I have been thinking back to the pressure I felt to get married and settle down. I felt this from mid 20s onwards (and the pressure grew as time went on).

For example:

• When I was 26 and at my younger sister's wedding, an aunt looked at me and said 'don't worry, you look gorgeous, I'm sure a man will pick you up soon'. (I hadn't said anything to her about wishing I had a boyfriend!)

• My mum pitied me when I was 30, because I was single and my younger sister was married with kids. She said 'i know you must look at her life and think that's lovely, but don't worry'. This added to the pressure.

• There's so much panic about turning 30. People / culture imply that it's a big deal and a single woman in her 30s is often portrayed as desperate (e.g. Bridget Jones). 30 now seems so young to me.

AIBU to think there's still loads of pressure for young women to settle down? Or maybe, for me, it was due to the circles I moved in.

I’m your age and never experienced any of this. My parents only ever wanted me to live a life that made me happy, whether that was married, single, straight, gay, whatever. So from family and friends, no, not for me, but we’re not a big close family. In the media/entertainment yes, I agree the Bridget jones trope was rife but I think the general feeling now is how ridiculous that was?

Even if you come from a non pressuring family, society is riddled with subtle pressure. Not so much because of the positive association of being settled down but because of the negative connotations of being past a certain age and single…

It’s utter bullshit and just another way to make women feel inadequate and crap if you ask me 🤷🏽‍♀️