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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not enjoy working in nurseries

86 replies

Pekoe78 · 03/01/2024 23:33

I’m currently wrestling with a problem in my working life. For financial reasons I’ve had to take on bank work for a couple of local nurseries. I’m qualified in early years so it seemed a sensible way of getting some much needed extra income. Obviously my personal job choices are my own responsibility so I’m not asking for personal job advice, I’m just asking if anyone else has tried working in nurseries and not really enjoyed it? I feel like I should like it as much as I loved working in a preschool but I find myself dreading the days I have to do bank work.

I find with both nurseries the staff don’t seem to particularly enjoy being with children. I see very little children (two) being told off for not painting correctly, for getting a puzzle out that hadn’t been laid out previously, for being too noisy, for not being able to immediately sit down to eat. I’ve even seen a baby being told off for dropping their sippy cup. It all just seems so oppressive and a bit joyless and the expectations of very small children quite unrealistic. The staff can be quite moody and abrupt and obsessive about rules and regulations to unnecessary levels. I know I’m sometimes not the most “on the ball” person, lack confidence and probably deserve to be snapped at now and then (as I have been) but at least I try to enjoy the job and try and make the children’s experience enjoyable. I find the days there very long and I’m on edge, afraid of putting a foot wrong. I never felt that at my old preschool.

I don’t know if it’s just me not gelling with a different approach or whether others have found nurseries quite challenging places to work?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 03/01/2024 23:35

YANBU

Some people shouldn't be let anywhere near small children.

Gowlett · 03/01/2024 23:39

Sounds terrible. Glad my DS’ place is so good…

UsingChangeofName · 03/01/2024 23:40

Nurseries vary hugely.

But there are now so many Nurseries that are so short staffed they have to take on staff they wouldn't have appointed 8 - 10 years ago.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 03/01/2024 23:40

YANBU I've met loads of awful nursery staff and managers but I feel if the sector was really valued with high pay and genuinely high quality training and qualifications it would get away from this. I think it's the same story at the other end of the age spectrum in care homes.

SouthLondonMum22 · 03/01/2024 23:43

Some nurseries aren't great but then the same can be said about preschools too and many other settings. Hopefully you've just been incredibly unlucky with the two nurseries you've worked at?

I'm very grateful that my DS goes to an excellent nursery.

Bex5490 · 04/01/2024 01:11

DS’s first ever nursery was so shit that I went to a parents evening and his supposed keyworker admitted that she didn’t know anything about my child as she never really sits with him!

He cried every morning and it broke my heart. They just got Ofsted inadequate in all areas and the first line is ‘children at this nursery are not kept safe…’ Appalling!!!

But he loves his new 1 - it’s terrifying how crap some of these places can be

DifficultBloodyWoman · 04/01/2024 01:40

mathanxiety · 03/01/2024 23:35

YANBU

Some people shouldn't be let anywhere near small children.

First post nailed it.

SherbetDips · 04/01/2024 02:43

You are not unreasonable, I am qualified in early years. I spent the first 4 years working in daycare 0-2 years and 2-3s two years.

it was a fairly decent nursery but I’d never go back now. I’ve been a nanny for 14 years and it’s much nicer! No bitchy immature clicky staff. If I meet a nanny I don’t gel with then goodbye!

things that used to bother me were playing favourites it was a small town so the staff were pretty bitchy about the parents.

awful environment.!!!

WholeHog · 04/01/2024 02:56

I think with bank work, like supply teaching, the places most likely to be offering the most work are the short-staffed ones and they're often short-staffed for a reason, so typically not the places most staff in that sector would choose to work at. I wouldn't write off working in all nurseries based on just experiencing a couple that need bank staff regularly.

Original poster
Pekoe78 · 04/01/2024 07:18

I think I just feel a bit disheartened as one of them did appear to be very good. The staff initially seemed very nice and welcoming and the parent surveys were all very positive. They’re not terrible places, the staff are very attentive to children’s needs it’s just all a bit of a serious environment for very small children and it feels like a shame because children this age are so much fun to be around and really thrive on positive interactions with adults.

OP posts:
Newsenmum · 04/01/2024 07:20

This is so sad to hear!

Passingthethyme · 04/01/2024 07:21

PTSDBarbiegirl · 03/01/2024 23:40

YANBU I've met loads of awful nursery staff and managers but I feel if the sector was really valued with high pay and genuinely high quality training and qualifications it would get away from this. I think it's the same story at the other end of the age spectrum in care homes.

Agree 💯 so depressing to think our most vulnerable people have substandard care 😕

Letterbix · 04/01/2024 07:24

I work in Early Years and I find some nursery environments quite depressing places to be. I visit and observe / assess rather than work whole shifts in a day nursery but I'll be honest and say this job has put me off ever wanting to work shifts in a day nursery!
The church/community pre schools always seem so much nicer but they are closing at a rate of knots because they aren't financially viable and not what working parents want and need anymore. It's all quite sad.

TheaBrandt · 04/01/2024 07:36

I sat in on two. I was thinking about being a sahm in the early years but after seeing the nurseries it was a no brainer. All smarm and sunshine to the parent clients though.

Original poster
Pekoe78 · 04/01/2024 11:17

Letterbix · 04/01/2024 07:24

I work in Early Years and I find some nursery environments quite depressing places to be. I visit and observe / assess rather than work whole shifts in a day nursery but I'll be honest and say this job has put me off ever wanting to work shifts in a day nursery!
The church/community pre schools always seem so much nicer but they are closing at a rate of knots because they aren't financially viable and not what working parents want and need anymore. It's all quite sad.

Thank you I was wondering if it was just me that was the problem and it has really affected my confidence. I set up a roleplay for some of the children and they were really into it but they ended up getting shouted at for not using their “indoor voices”. It’s just making me feel very despondent and restricted- I think children should be allowed to be children not just easily controlled.

OP posts:
TurkeyTwizlers · 04/01/2024 11:22

One of the staff at DDs nursery left to be a cleaner for the council as she earned more money.

ImTiredBoss · 04/01/2024 11:57

I have been a nursery worker for 15 years in various nurseries. Childcare has really fucked up my mental health, and its nothing to do with the precious, wonderful children. It's a management problem.

Very long hours, immense responsibility for a pittance, expected to work over ratio, not receiving help when we all but beg for it, children with suspected SEN not getting the proper help they need, management having a cosy little chat and a cup of tea in their office while we struggle upstairs, horrible treatment of staff eg. Can't let you out for gp/dentist appointments, can't go home if you become unwell while in work (even if you're vomiting/having diarrhoea)etc, pressure to spend every minute engaging with the children but at the same time you need to update the app, do observations, clean etc. Shitty holiday entitlement. I could go on and on.

I love those children and work so, so hard to try and make sure they have a fun, safe, warm environment that enriches their learning. But the mistreatment of staff and utter lack of respect as a human being over the years has given me significant mental health problems. I have had several breakdowns, have had to leave employment, can't count the amount of times I've come home in tears, or even cried while I was in work.

I am at my wit's end and desperately trying to leave childcare all together and try something completely new, but it's not easy when it's all I've ever done.

Such a shame because it's a wonderful, rewarding job. But that's the cold, hard truth, unfortunately Sad

Original poster
Pekoe78 · 04/01/2024 14:02

I understand totally how you feel.

OP posts:
DewHopper · 04/01/2024 14:05

TheaBrandt · 04/01/2024 07:36

I sat in on two. I was thinking about being a sahm in the early years but after seeing the nurseries it was a no brainer. All smarm and sunshine to the parent clients though.

This.

Notmetoo · 04/01/2024 14:07

It sounds like a terrible nursery and certainly no place for very small children.

YouJustDoYou · 04/01/2024 14:10

OP, that was literally me! I was bank staff for nurseries and I FUCKING HATED IT. I was also talked down to like a piece of shit by some staff just because I was bank, the teenage workers (all the nurseries could get to work for them) were moody, grumpy, uncaring shits who obviously hated their job (I at least plastered my smile on and cheery voice for the kid's sake), in some places they wouldn't pay up for more staff so because of ratios they couldn't take a child to the toilet for example who needed it so the poor loves would wet themselves, then stand soaking in pee untli someone turned up from lunch to help. The staff would bitch about the parents behind their backs for really tiny things, like for example an exhausted working mother taking just a few extra minutes in her car to answer emails before she was due to pick up her kid. Oh god, it was horrible. Never, ever again.

WaltzingWaters · 04/01/2024 14:11

I worked in childcare for 15 years. Mostly as a nanny but a few nursery jobs (2 doing work experience and one doing bank work). I really disliked nursery work and whilst it would work well for me now with my toddler working part time in a nursery, I really don’t want to!
Nannying was great and better paid. Definitely recommend that if it’s right for your situation at the moment. I don’t feel I could leave my toddler with someone else to work 1:1 with other peoples children, but it was great before I had children.

Lelophants · 04/01/2024 14:13

Makes me glad I was a sahm for a bit but next baby will be in nursery and now I’m terrified!

ActDottie · 04/01/2024 14:19

I think nurseries vary hugely and from what you’ve described you’ve unfortunately been working in some of the worst ones. Which given they’re having to use bank staff to fill vacancies probably makes sense as if it was a truly enjoyable place to work you’d think they’d be able to retain permanent staff.

Rainbowhairanddontcare · 04/01/2024 14:19

I have worked in many nurseries and most have been terrible. All the things that have previously been mentioned. I was a nanny also and now I'm a childminder. I would never work in a nursery ever again.