My body is so broken on multiple levels - can anyone relate?

[Chronicfuckingillness]

I just feel really down about it today, and trying not to spiral into a "what's the point" train of thought.

Think I'm in a rough spell because I've just realised I haven't had a good day in terms of energy for months. My mood is shite because I haven't slept for two nights. I am so fucking resentful.

Does anyone else feel ground down by lots of health issues?

Yes, me too. I won’t list them but it’s shite and I have no energy.

I try to concentrate on the good things in my life even if they’re often small, and to tell myself better days will come.

Solidarity.

Yeah if it weren’t for medicine I probably wouldn’t have lived this long. I remember thinking during lockdown if I die from Covid it would be about time I did. It’s really difficult when you’re quite young but not healthy.

Me. Terrified of going back to work tomorrow and the pain it will probably bring on. Have had neck pain since November, been doing physio. It got ten times worse over Christmas, MRI results finally came to the app on my phone (had it done privately) and I've severe stenosis and neural compression. The pain is like nothing I've ever knkwn and I've had two surgeries on my lower back for the same issue.

At 48, I'm facing a possibility of having to quit work but have no way of affording to live without an income. It's utterly depressing. I'm losing more and more things that I enjoy all the time. Cinema, gone, travel, gone, eat in a restaurant, gone, now I can't even hold a book to read it. Even walking hurts my neck somehow. I have cried but that doesn't solve anything either.

I need a day inbetween each day to recover, it's very difficult.

Another here who is terrified of going back to work. I can't not work but it's the job that has physically broken me and one day back I will be in agony again. I can't afford to not work and have no training for any other job.

I'm capable, organised and a hard worker, I just want a desk job. Please.

Same here.

I’ve panic attacks most days before I go to work. It’s really not too good, but I don’t really have much choice.

I suffer with Rumertoid and Oestro athritis i am on constantly medication to halt the deterioration of my body,

and i have every so often cortisol injections in my knee,

thankfully whithout that , there is no way i could walk anywhere,

It's bone rubbing against bone joints with my knee

It's really Shit the pits at times

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to express 🙏 that...

Can totally relate. I have osteoarthritis and a neurological disorder. The pain meds still work but give me brain fog so I try to ration them or do without. I have scary new symptoms that could be MS or Parkinsons, but my GP is very concerned to get me on HRT for hot flushes. I can only take HRT at the very lowest dose because I'm high risk, and I feel like I've been used for a box ticking exercise. I don't care about the stupid hot flushes, they are the least of my worries. I wish I could afford to go private just to get a diagnosis.
At least they have stopped telling me its anxiety!

Today, I had surgery for suspected mouth cancer as a day case. I have to wait for the results. Before Xmas, I was diagnosed with very rare sarcoma and needed a skin graft to cover the hole made by surgery. I have nerve damage and a terrible scar from the operation. This will be the fourth surgery for this condition. The surgery is in my hand and now I cannot drive anymore as my grip has gone. I was diagnosed with neurofibromatosis about a year ago. Prior to that, I had an accident followed by botched surgery. It paralysed my left hand and arm. I had four surgeries in one year, and none were successful. I have neuropathy, and dystonia from this, as well as contracture of the fingers. My worst affected finger is being amputated this year, and I have a damaged vascular system due to arterial thoracic outlet syndrome (inoperable). So cancer in one hand, paralysis in the other. I was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos syndrome at 45, and it caused terrible damage to my feet. I have giant Morton neuromas in both feet, and bone necrosis with very collapsed and clawed up toes. I have so many fractures in my toes that cannot heal up, and have been diagnosed with Freiburg disorder. Doctors want to amputate but it means learning to walk again, and I don't have time to deal with all that rehab with a young family and business to manage. Throw in about 15 other medical conditions, and many people might assume I am ready to give up. However, I always think about people in worse situations to myself, and try to focus on what I can do (rather than cannot). The thing that has saved me from going crackers is meditation. I did a class and it really helps with the stress and pain, so I recommend that to anyone affected by long term conditions.

@scoobydoo1971 that sounds so tough, what an inspiring post.

I came on to say to the OP I totally understand, I won't list everything but just pray for a a day when I wake up normal again. Chronic pain is just awful.