Page 6 | To get my 7 year old’s ears pierced?

ToPierceOrNotToPierce · 2024-01-03T19:55:56+00:00

My 7 year old DD has been desperate to get her ears pierced for ages, since starting school. Have always said no, not until you’re a bit older. So many girls younger than her at school already have their ears pierced. Would I be a terribly irresponsible mum if I allowed her to get her ears pierced at 7? I’m worried about them getting pulled when she’s playing but equally it’s not as though she’s a baby or even a toddler and I’m thinking of getting them pierced. Genuinely interested on others opinions on this as I’m so torn on it. Thanks!

PatienceTried · 03/01/2024 23:19

can you add a link to the research, please?

gawditswindy · 03/01/2024 23:20

I'm not a fan for wee ones but thankfully DD6 is a bit of a snowflake so when I told her it would hurt she decided to hold off. I'm thinking 10/11.

strawberryandtomato · 03/01/2024 23:22

My DD was 7. No one batted an eyelid. But if you don't agree with it then don't do it. Don't seek validation from people on the internet. My DD took full responsibility for cleaning them etc. she used to remind me they needed cleaning. It was lovely to watch her. Maybe in hindsight a bit young, but only because it seems soooo young now she's 10. However, absolutely zero regrets and would do it again that age.

SandyWaves · 03/01/2024 23:24

I personally don't like ear piercings on children, what's the rush?

My DD has asked since she was 5 and she was told no. I will allow it when she's about 14 or 15, if she still asks.

I have seen so many babies with earrings, it makes me so sad. In some cultures, babies ears are pierced soon after their birth. Why?

PaperDoIIs · 03/01/2024 23:32

SandyWaves · 03/01/2024 23:24

I personally don't like ear piercings on children, what's the rush?

My DD has asked since she was 5 and she was told no. I will allow it when she's about 14 or 15, if she still asks.

I have seen so many babies with earrings, it makes me so sad. In some cultures, babies ears are pierced soon after their birth. Why?

Practicality. It's normally done in the hospital by one of the nurses so the equipment is safe and sterilised. As newborns don't move much, not a lot of risk of them pulling on them ,scratching, getting infected etc. Then they grow with them on and always there so it's not a novelty,no need to faff and fiddle.I was abandoned at birth so didn't have mine done until I was 2.

Caerulea · 03/01/2024 23:32

PaperDoIIs · 03/01/2024 23:17

@SemperIdem while there is no actual law, most tattoo studios have an age limit imposed (or they self impose) by the LA in order to get their piercing license. It's not actually a free for all like some posters make it sound.

In fact , you can barely find any studios piercing ears for under 10's , but finding one to pierce a 7 yo's lip is likely. (eye roll not aimed at you )

If you're rolling your eyes at me, why? What's the material difference between piercing an ear vs lip/nose/eyebrow?

mathanxiety · 03/01/2024 23:33

Jacfrost · 03/01/2024 22:50

I'm sure you understand that ears are part of the body, so perhaps it's the word modification you're struggling with? It means to change. When you put holes in your body, regardless of how small the holes are, you are changing your body. HTH

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Trimming your toenails or getting a haircut is also modification of the body, if it comes to that.

There's a difference between benign and other forms of body modification.

Singleandproud · 03/01/2024 23:38

I see my job as getting DD to adulthood in one piece, she is not allowed to make permanent changes to her body. She knows that's my rule and doesn't ask as she knows it's a hard boundary. If she chooses to go out on her 18th birthday (or whatever the legal age is) and get a load of piercings and tattoos that's up to her and that's fine because that's a choice she made.

It may be relevant that my mum was the same, I desperately wanted my ears pierced when younger and she said no, I still don't - although got my navel pierced at 18, but that was my choice,I paid for it and I looked after it until I took it out permanently in my mind 20s.

SemperIdem · 03/01/2024 23:39

PaperDoIIs · 03/01/2024 23:17

@SemperIdem while there is no actual law, most tattoo studios have an age limit imposed (or they self impose) by the LA in order to get their piercing license. It's not actually a free for all like some posters make it sound.

In fact , you can barely find any studios piercing ears for under 10's , but finding one to pierce a 7 yo's lip is likely. (eye roll not aimed at you )

That’s been my experience. I know a few piercers and they’d probably call social services if someone rocked up with a young child asking for a facial piercing, given they don’t pierce under 10’s ears even! People really do seem to think that because Claire’s pierce anyone of any age, willy nilly, that studios do too.

In the last year or so, I’ve had some additional ear piercings done at a brilliant independent piercing studio. She doesn’t pierce under 16’s in any capacity currently and though intends to lower the age, it’s to 12.

Given some of the comments here about “turning piercings” etc I understand even more that that’s related to the child at least having a fighting chance at 12, of being able to ignore their parents well intentioned but incorrect advice in favour of her, correct, advice.

Universalsnail · 03/01/2024 23:41

I think 7 is fine. I had 3 in each ear by the time I was 8. I would just do it over the summer holidays and find somewhere who will do both at the same time.

PaperDoIIs · 03/01/2024 23:42

Singleandproud · 03/01/2024 23:38

I see my job as getting DD to adulthood in one piece, she is not allowed to make permanent changes to her body. She knows that's my rule and doesn't ask as she knows it's a hard boundary. If she chooses to go out on her 18th birthday (or whatever the legal age is) and get a load of piercings and tattoos that's up to her and that's fine because that's a choice she made.

It may be relevant that my mum was the same, I desperately wanted my ears pierced when younger and she said no, I still don't - although got my navel pierced at 18, but that was my choice,I paid for it and I looked after it until I took it out permanently in my mind 20s.

If you get a brave and daft kid , and she really , really wants them she'll just get them done at home with a pair of earrings .Or with mates and other implements. It happens.

Ilovecakey · 03/01/2024 23:44

Yes go for it. Its only ear piercings and if she's going yo get them done now or in a year or 2 I don't see what much difference it makes. People make such a big deal out if getting kids ears pierced on here but it only hurts for a second and you can make sure you clean it every day or remind them to do it if they are older. And if they don't like them after they can always take them out and they heal up.

honeyfox · 03/01/2024 23:44

I had mine done at 6 or 7 after lots of begging and never had any problems with them.

PaperDoIIs · 03/01/2024 23:48

@Caerulea mainly aftercare routine and risks (including the locations being more accident prone). The size of the holes (bar nose) and the option to let them cover up if you change your mind can be an issue too.

ChedderGorgeous · 03/01/2024 23:51

Coshei · 03/01/2024 20:17

My daughter is 6 and got her ears pierced a few months ago. It involved me getting my own ears pierced again so we had matching ears. She was delighted with it and it all healed well and there have not been any issues. I fail to see why earrings would be a big deal.

Dear me

PhoenixIsFlying · 03/01/2024 23:55

My daughter at 7 was the same. I always said not until 11. Then I thought about it and let her. She was so desperate to have them done in the end I just thought it doesn't really matter if its what she really wants.

Caerulea · 04/01/2024 00:04

PaperDoIIs · 03/01/2024 23:48

@Caerulea mainly aftercare routine and risks (including the locations being more accident prone). The size of the holes (bar nose) and the option to let them cover up if you change your mind can be an issue too.

I fail to see why a nose would be more accident prone than an ear? Especially with longer hair needing to be put up & down & brushed etc.

I had mine done under 10 with a gun, perhaps that's why I still have the holes even though I've barely used them, I don't really have any feelings about the holes, they just feel kinda useless lol.

I think I'm just very uncomfortable with the decorating of children from so young, like they are dolls we are dressing up but by putting actual holes in their bodies. Especially because it's very heavily skewed towards girls having it done to them & the angry little feminist in me thinks that's worthy of note.

My honest feeling is the age limit for ALL piercings should be in line with tattoos & only done in those settings (I've learned a lot about needle vs gun on this thread!). It makes more sense to say none or all body modifications under 16/18 cos it's only 'tradition' that says ears are fine vs other non-sexual places.

(to add - the countries where piercing girls is absolutely commonplace aren't ones that have a great attitude towards the value of women. There's probably something in that 😬)

PaperDoIIs · 04/01/2024 00:13

@Caerulea I work with kids and trust me, a nose is a lot more accident prone than an ear(various balls,toys , and other random objects , body parts to to the face,face planting, walking into things (ok that would be more of an eyebrow area but still)). Then you have the whole shoving things in them, picking their nose,nosebleeds, the pure amount of snot and crust from colds and other bugs and so on.

Caerulea · 04/01/2024 00:18

@PaperDoIIs actually bloody fair points! Doesn't change my feelings on it but they are such obvious things now you say it lol

PaperDoIIs · 04/01/2024 00:38

Caerulea · 04/01/2024 00:18

@PaperDoIIs actually bloody fair points! Doesn't change my feelings on it but they are such obvious things now you say it lol

Haha fair enough. TBH , I wasn't trying to change your mind, this always comes up on MN and it's such a massive and polarised debate . I just replied with my reasons why I do see them differently and that they are actual reasons.

Tygertiger · 04/01/2024 07:39

Singleandproud · 03/01/2024 23:38

I see my job as getting DD to adulthood in one piece, she is not allowed to make permanent changes to her body. She knows that's my rule and doesn't ask as she knows it's a hard boundary. If she chooses to go out on her 18th birthday (or whatever the legal age is) and get a load of piercings and tattoos that's up to her and that's fine because that's a choice she made.

It may be relevant that my mum was the same, I desperately wanted my ears pierced when younger and she said no, I still don't - although got my navel pierced at 18, but that was my choice,I paid for it and I looked after it until I took it out permanently in my mind 20s.

I appreciate the intention but this is worded in a really odd way. Your daughter’s body is her own. and she will be able to consent medically without your knowledge long before she is 18 if her doctor deems her Gillick competent (likely) - to contraception or abortion, for example. Ear piercing is not some hugely significant event that needs to wait until 18 the way it’s been built up here.

Tygertiger · 04/01/2024 07:42

Caerulea · 04/01/2024 00:04

I fail to see why a nose would be more accident prone than an ear? Especially with longer hair needing to be put up & down & brushed etc.

I had mine done under 10 with a gun, perhaps that's why I still have the holes even though I've barely used them, I don't really have any feelings about the holes, they just feel kinda useless lol.

I think I'm just very uncomfortable with the decorating of children from so young, like they are dolls we are dressing up but by putting actual holes in their bodies. Especially because it's very heavily skewed towards girls having it done to them & the angry little feminist in me thinks that's worthy of note.

My honest feeling is the age limit for ALL piercings should be in line with tattoos & only done in those settings (I've learned a lot about needle vs gun on this thread!). It makes more sense to say none or all body modifications under 16/18 cos it's only 'tradition' that says ears are fine vs other non-sexual places.

(to add - the countries where piercing girls is absolutely commonplace aren't ones that have a great attitude towards the value of women. There's probably something in that 😬)

Edited

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Every girl you see in Italy and Spain has her ears pierced, but that’s not what you meant, is it? Can you not see how racist this is?

Why are earrings more “doll-like” than pretty dresses, elaborate hairstyles or sparkly shoes? Do you have similar rules on those for girls?

RosePetals86 · 04/01/2024 07:56

I think 7 is a pretty average age for girls to ask for their ears pierced. I think I may have been a similar age myself. If she’s asked and she understands it will hurt a little and she has to get BOTH ears done, I’d agree to take her.

Caerulea · 04/01/2024 08:00

Tygertiger · 04/01/2024 07:42

Every girl you see in Italy and Spain has her ears pierced, but that’s not what you meant, is it? Can you not see how racist this is?

Why are earrings more “doll-like” than pretty dresses, elaborate hairstyles or sparkly shoes? Do you have similar rules on those for girls?

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I don't think it is remotely racist (& it would be xenophobic, but that isn't the case either) to point out that both Italy & Spain have issues with with how women are treated, even in law re SA etc. Pretty extraordinary thing to suggest imo.

Fwiw yes, I do feel uncomfortable with all those things for girls when they are JUST for girls. I think it's peculiar to excessively 'feminise' little girls. I think we should all take issue with how overly pink, sparkly, 'be kind be cute', significantly smaller & less practical girls clothes are, ESPECIALLY affordable girls clothes.

And yes, nothing here has changed my mind that piercing children is something I think will die out before long & even so, should be regulated 🤷🏼‍♀️. I also don't think it's abuse, I'm not hysterical here.

TheIsleOfTheLost · 04/01/2024 09:28

I would be fine with a 7 year old getting pierced ears as long as they asked (not pushed into it) and are able to do the necessary after care. I would wait until she breaks up for summer, so she can show sustained commitment to the idea and so they get a decent amount of time to heal without needing to be removed, or taped for PE. I don't think anyone should have babies ears pierced, as there is no possibility for consent. If she ever changes her mind, they are easy to remove. Do research your local area to find a good place, not Claire's.