Sending Thank you cards

[Doingmybesteveryday]

I have always sent thank you cards ever since I was a child. I don’t think my parents forced me to, but I can never remember not sending them and have done every time I have received something from someone for whatever occasion.I’m now 32. It’s the first thing I do after birthdays and Christmas is to write all the thank you cards and send them out, I actually start to panic if I haven’t sent them in good time as I don’t want to appear to be ungrateful and rude. I Will always say thank you in person or by text, but will always follow it up with a card. It costs a fortune with stamps. We now have had a baby, and it’s been his first Christmas, so our relatives have received a card from the baby with a cute photo and a generic message and a hand written one from myself and DH. DH doesn’t send cards of any sort, even birthday cards, so it always lands on me to send them so his parents and relatives know they’re actually from me. People do comment on how nice it is to receive, but I’m being silly, I just cringe at the thought of not sending them. Thankfully this Christmas most people have just bought for the baby and not me, so in this case I’ve just sent one from the baby. It’s dawned on me that I have actually don’t receive one from anyone. Maybe once from a wedding. Sometimes not even a text. My parents bought my DH young nephew a present, they know him well and always send gifts at Christmas and birthday, but they have never so much as received a text of thanks. I find it very rude. When do I stop? Should I?

You must have a lot of people sending you gifts if it costs a fortune in stamps for thank you cards! I tend to stick with the rule about thank you cards from when I was younger. If one has seen the giver in person and thanked them for the gift then there is no need for a thank you card. If one hasn't seen them since opening the gift, a thank you card is required.

Personally, I don't think it matters how the sender is thanked (phone, card, text, in person) as long as thanks is given. Especially for gifts sent in the post where you aren't sure if they have arrived. I stick with handwritten thank you cards, but I only need to send about four per year. Anecdotally from my friends, handwritten thank you cards are always sent out for wedding gifts but for other gifts (such as new baby) most friends say thank you by text.

Thank you. We have friends and family all over the country so it’s a lot of stamps. Plus my birthday is in February! Double whammy.

I always sent them as a child and so did DS up until he was about 12 (7 years ago) then he swapped to phone calls, texts or in person, apart from older distant relatives he didn’t know as he felt too awkward ringing so he carried on writing a letter.

I don’t think I would bother sending thank you letters/cards now though - a phone call or a text with a photo/little video seems a bit more personal and connected now that times have changed.

These days thank you cards are not expected anymore. My BIL makes his children write them - pointless and no genuine thanks in it. We get a call or message saying thanks, that's enough in my opinion.
Times are different, and there are so many more ways to connect than a card!

The sentiment is very kind hearted, OP, but I personally do not like receiving or sending cards of any sort as I find them so wasteful, environmentally and financially. I did send them after my wedding however.

I prefer a heartfelt text, phone call or email. Something digital does not mean it’s meant less.

See, now I hate thank you cards. Where I live, Usually they are only sent for weddings and christenings, but you'll always get someone who loves sending them, tbh if and when I get them I open, read and bin.

I always thank a person in person when they give a gift, or if it's been posted I'll text or ring, depending on which they prefer. I think myself this is enough.

I do have one particular in-law who loves them, I know if I give them gifts I'm going to get a thank you card, if there's numerous gifts, I'll get numerous thank you cards. What's annoying too, is that when I receive the thank you card, she expects a thank you back for the card, so I'll spend days going back and forth, her texting thanking me for the present, she might even ring too, then the card will arrive, then I'll have to ring her thanking her for the card, jeeze my head does be melted, I even joked one day with her saying I'd send her a thank you card for her thank you card, she looked delighted with my suggestion.

A thank you in person and quick text is enough.

Yeah? I don’t go that far! The funny thing is even my parents think I’m mad sending them. Grandmother in law however absolutely loves them.

Send them to Granny if she loves them but really noone else expects them. If you're saying thank you in person or text thats fine.

You're putting yourself under pressure and spending a fortune on something everyone (except Granny) will read & put in the recycling

I don't think anyone expects them. Why not use a blanket rule anyone under 70 gets a text or call anyone over still gets a card.

I wouldn't bother, a text or phonecall is fine. We get them from one SIL (well they are 'from' the kids). We open it, read it, bin it.

I love thank you cards!

Now that ds is older though we don't send them, but I make a video of him thanking people, or video call them so ds can say thank you.

I use thank you cards when I want to thank friends for support or just for being awesome friends.

I get the DC to do thank you letters/cards/drawings for the people that I know will appreciate them which are my aunts and uncles that they don't see very often.

I always thank people for presents but these days not always by handwritten letter. I will thank in person or on the phone where possible and, even as a child in the seventies, this was considered enough but there would be more thank you letters to relatives and this was non-negotiable. My birthday is in early December and I can remember asking if I could just write one letter combining the thanks for both birthday and Christmas. I was told that if I wanted to continue receiving presents for both events then I must write those letters both times. These days there are many alternatives to paper and pen and l will often send a Jacquie Lawson card with a personal message. I find this particularly useful after my birthday as an adult as it is such a busy time for everyone but especially for musicians, as I can attest. I love the whole season. Christmas music is the best.

I think you have to think of who it is giving you the present, and if it arrived in the post or if they gave it you personally.

Anyone that gives me a present personally doesn't get a card.
If something had come in the post, I would usually send a quick WhatsApp / Text to let them know something has arrived, as it is never a certainty with post and parcel delivery. Then, I would probably phone them once I'd opened it / when I had time to thank them properly.

If I knew there were a particular individual (potentially an older Aunt / Uncle / Grandparent) who would appreciate it, then I would send them one.

After wedding, I would send to everyone, as you don't 'open' presents in front of people at a wedding, and it is also about them coming and sharing your day.

But general Christmas and birthdays ? No.

My kids only get gifts from grandparents (though not this year) and I always had them write a card. Now at least a text - though as I said no need this year.
I don't get gifts from people - my birthday if I've organised something. I thank the people as they give me a gift then a couple days later a group text thanking them for coming.