Ex works shifts. His job is demanding, no question. But he has nearly every weekend off. I also have a demanding job. He recently relocated an hour’s train away and sees dd by catching the train and we collect him. He’s sometimes stayed over a night to spend a bit more time. I am fine with this.
I have told him that dd needs consistency. She’s 3.5. I’ve said that weekly is really a bare minimum to see her for a day, especially as some weekends he works and then it’s a fortnight between visits. He refuses to confirm if he can see her at weekends. I will often get a text on say Thursday night saying Sunday is fine… I then have to re arrange plans as I don’t want dd to miss seeing her dad. This is despite me chasing him at the start of the week to confirm.
Last weekend I was really clear that it was hard for me to accommodate him seeing her without organisation. He was silent then said he can’t just commit to every weekend in advance because he often has ‘pressing things on.’ This hugely upset me as I have pressing things too, while looking after dd all the time, and yet he can’t see that me standing by waiting for his confirmation is massively selfish? I said this to him and he said I was deluded if I thought that was selfish of him? I feel like I can’t think straight anymore, am I in the wrong here?