We have been there for my 23 year old daughter through thick and thin. She lives alone in a lovely house but can’t afford the rent and has had six lodgers, all of who she has fallen out with and got rid of, leaving her short of money meaning me and her dad have to step in. There's always a drama of some sort out which is presented for me to sort out.
We’ve supported her through her career change training in the last couple of years which to be fair she has done well in, though it’s not well paid and her expenses are high. We haven’t minded but have helped with sourcing and buying a car, fuel; repairs, insurance etc, a new phone when the old one broke, bills etc.
There’s always a crisis but then we see her updates on Insta with parties, cocktails, nights out etc but if we point this out she claims never to have to pay for herself which surely can’t be true.
She will party hard for days, arriving home at 8am, then later that day appear at our house hungry and claiming to be depressed. When we point out that the depression was highly like due to her lifestyle, she claims she has to have that lifestyle because she is depressed. Are we being taken for a ride here?
She never pops round to see how me and her father and younger sister are, or spends time with us other than with an ulterior motive. She promises to come over then doesn’t turn up and we call her only to find out she’s out for lunch in town with friends. It’s absolutely so rude and disrespectful.
We won’t hear from her for days, all messages ignored, calls go unreturned etc and I start to really worry, only to suddenly get a message asking for money.
Have calculated she’s had over £16k in family in the form of loans (never paid back), gifts, fuel, bills paid etc in the last year alone, on top of her earnings.
She can be considerate, charming and so sweet sometimes but this is getting less and less. It doesn't help that she's so beautiful that people are charmed by her looks.
She could downsize to a more affordable shared house but doesn’t want to do this. Also doesn’t want to rent out spare room because she doesn’t want to live with strangers.
I do love her dearly but this is now affecting me negatively and causing arguments between me and my husband.
Am I being unreasonable to completely stop all help, despite her protestations that she is ‘depressed and suicidal’. I’m tired of being used and treated like this.