Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No one enjoys the moment anymore

123 replies

BubblesBlossomAndButtercup · 03/01/2024 12:41

I went to London to watch the NYE fireworks. I took a few pictures during the display but there was no way I was filming the countdown. I wanted to enjoy it.
I can’t speak for everyone who went of course, but certainly in my section, everyone was filming it. When the moment came, DP and I hugged and kissed - and no one else around us did.

We had a good view ruined a lot by people holding up their phones. Fine for a second, but for the whole thing!!!

Has the world gone mad? :(

OP posts:
BusySittingDown · 03/01/2024 14:06

It's so weird isn't it? Most concerts I've been to recently I've watched through someone else's phone screen! Put it down, fgs!

I was saying to my DC the other day that in the "good old days" I'd have the best nights out but I have no photos because no one took a camera out. If you did take a camera out then you had to save it for the best because you had a limit of 30 pictures. 😂

notlucreziaborgia · 03/01/2024 14:08

Or they’re enjoying it just as much, just not in the same way as you? Having a different preference is not the same as having a lesser one.

Memories fade and can be lost in time. I’m not someone that takes a lot of videos and photos, and I’m trying to mindful to take more tbh.

Snowpaw · 03/01/2024 14:14

I was at a fireworks display and a teenager in front of me literally had her back to the fireworks for the entire display and was facing me whilst doing weird "peace-sign and wink whilst licking your front teeth" poses over and over to try and get it with a firework exploding in the background. It was so awkward - she was completely oblivious to me despite our faces being about half a meter apart. She was in a different world completely. I felt sorry for her.

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 03/01/2024 14:14

YANBU, although I don't think it's necessarily a generational thing, before phones it was film/digital cameras.

I've been fortunate to travel to some amazing places. But at so many "highlight" stops of these trips, I see people who are more interested in taking a picture of themselves or who just shove to the front to take a picture of whatever World Heritage Site or whatever it is, before disappearing off again. They've never actually stopped to look at the thing they've travelled all that way to see.

Sure, I take pictures. But I want to actually remember being there too.

BeautifulAndBrave · 03/01/2024 14:15

I very rarely use my phone to film or photograph anything, on just not in the habit of doing so. As for needing to do in case anyone dies, l lost my husband and my Dad and l don't need photos, infact seeing photos does absolutely nothing for me. I have no photos in the house, they are unnecessary. Memories are what really count.

cardibach · 03/01/2024 14:19

CranfordScones · 03/01/2024 13:54

YANBU - 'generation phone' (whoever they may be) don't live in the moment. They live for some future moment which will probably never arrive. The enjoyment is in 'sharing' content but in reality it rests heavily on the affirmation they receive. And if that's not a recipe for neurotic behaviour, I don't know what is.

It's a weird mindset: if you don't record it, it never happened.

I’m 59. I take loads of photos and videos. Is that ok with you if I’m not ‘generation phone’ or am I weird too?
doesn’t stop me enjoying anything ‘in the moment’ incidentally. I’m still there I’m still experiencing and enjoying the moment. I just have a memento for later or to share with others.

cardibach · 03/01/2024 14:21

RebelMoon · 03/01/2024 13:58

I live in a tourist hotspot, it's very noticeable here. There's amazing scenery but many people just get out of their car, snap a selfie and take off to the next spot. It's like a tick box exercise. They don't take anything in.

We were in a lovely spot on the coast the other day. Fab views over the sea to the islands beyond, waterfalls, wildlife etc. There was a youngish couple there for about half an hour. All they did was set up selfie after selfie. It's sad to see.

Why is it sad? Presumably they were enjoying themselves. Presumably they looked at the views to ‘set up’ their pictures?

Alloveragain3 · 03/01/2024 14:21

I knew this would be what your post was about before opening it!
My DH and I said the same when we saw the wave if phones pointed at the fireworks while watching on TV.

Being present in the moment is definitely something I want to be more mindful of and to try and teach my children to do. I think the longer I hold off on them getting mobiles and tablets the better

RebelMoon · 03/01/2024 14:29

cardibach · 03/01/2024 14:21

Why is it sad? Presumably they were enjoying themselves. Presumably they looked at the views to ‘set up’ their pictures?

Show quote history

I find it sad that they can't sit/stand and take in the surroundings. They were only interested in what would be in the background of their photos. As if it's just a prop.

cardibach · 03/01/2024 14:33

RebelMoon · 03/01/2024 14:29

I find it sad that they can't sit/stand and take in the surroundings. They were only interested in what would be in the background of their photos. As if it's just a prop.

Show quote history

That’s your judgement of it though. They were enjoying it, just not quite in the way you would. Maybe they think it’s sad to see you not appreciating it enough to want a permanent record. Neither is right or wrong.

Forgotmylogindetails · 03/01/2024 14:33

This is peoples life now.

one of the reasons I left my ex (one of the very many may I add)

had his phone glued to him , pictures of us everywhere, look what we are up too , look what we’ve just bought … posting on every social media platform there is.

I would rather live for the moment not to show off to everyone else …

Forgotmylogindetails · 03/01/2024 14:35

@BeautifulAndBrave im the same with photos x

EvilElsa · 03/01/2024 14:35

I'm with you on this. We went to watch A Christmas Carol in London last month and even though there were specific instructions not to use mobile phones to record, every 20 mins or so the ushers would be shining their torches into the crowd to stop somebody doing it. Just watch the fucking play!!
Went to to Disney Florida in 2022 and the fireworks display was just a sea of held up mobiles. People literally watching through their screens, not just the odd photo or clip. It's also so selfish to everyone behind having to look past your held aloft phone.

OutYerEd · 03/01/2024 14:39

I watched the fireworks on TV and said this to my DH!

Everyone was standing there like lemons filming on their phone at midnight.

I remember when TV used to come from Trafalgar Square at NYE and it would be scenes of merry crowds hugging, kissing, linking arms with strangers to sing Auld Langs Ayne etc.

It all looked joyless in comparison.

EmpressSoleil · 03/01/2024 14:42

I'm older so still remember the days of camcorders. I got one years back and learnt very quickly that you do miss out on the actual enjoyment, when you're always trying to get the best shot. So I was well prepared when phones came out!

The last gig I went to, it really did annoy me, people blocking my view of the stage with their stupid bloody phones! Ruining it for the rest of us. So inconsiderate. I couldn't care less if people want to film things as long as they're not getting in other peoples way!

Speedweed · 03/01/2024 14:43

I think there is a big difference between recording family doing stuff, and going to a concert or something which will be professionally filmed anyway (and will look waaaay better). Filming the latter is silly.

Taking lots of posing selfies specifically for social media broadcast is tragic.

Plumtop11 · 03/01/2024 14:44

I hate that! I sometimes see friends posting on social media and think that things are almost 'staged' for the opportunity to post about it. Not many people just living in the moment anymore.

Janiejo · 03/01/2024 14:44

Yes, we are fairly local and were there. I preferred a couple of photos of us and our teens, the fireworks were on tv.

Is this for YouTube channels though - that is where I would go if I ever did want to watch the display back.

Ariela · 03/01/2024 16:12

I agree, everyone is stuck on their devices! We liver rurally, and the number of people that go for a stroll along our lane with their head in the phone is astounding, They're messing out on the view, the wildlife, the scenery. Why? They might as well get a running machine an go for a stroll on that!

mrswhiplington · 03/01/2024 16:28

GoldDuster · 03/01/2024 13:41

Yes the world has gone mad, everywhere you look people are glued to their little hand held pocket computers instead of looking each other in the eye. No good will come of it, I'll tell you!

Yep, no good will come of the ones that walk into the road without looking up from their phones either. Seriously feel like running them down sometimes!

YellowWiggle · 03/01/2024 16:34

I saw everyone holding their phones up on the TV and thought how mad it was that people had travelled all that way and stood in the cold and then end up filming the whole thing. just enjoy the experience. like you say maybe take one or two but your memories are what matters, not what you post on insta!

i visited the theatre recently and someone next to me filmed two of the songs (no one told her off amazingly!), incredibly annoying and ruined the experience for others too.

Precipice · 03/01/2024 16:35

The whole thing, no. But it's nice to look back a few years later at photos of a nice moment, and remember the place and the trip and that you enjoyed it. It's a memento.

I don't like being filmed and so I don't make videos, but I do actually appreciate that my mother made a few videos with her parents in - it's nice to see my grandparents again and recordings are much more 'alive' than photographs. They bring tears to my eyes.

cardibach · 03/01/2024 16:43

Plumtop11 · 03/01/2024 14:44

I hate that! I sometimes see friends posting on social media and think that things are almost 'staged' for the opportunity to post about it. Not many people just living in the moment anymore.

It takes about 10 secs to ‘stage’ a pic (selfie/group/view/whatever). That 10 secs actually can be an enjoyable way of properly looking at the scene and engaging with others in your group. Then you can go back to just looking like anyone else.
Why do people think someone doing something they wouldn’t are ‘sad’ or ‘tragic’? They are enjoying their free time in the way they want to.
And as for people being convinced everyone on social media is ‘showing off’…well, I’m afraid it says more about you and your friends than anything else. I like seeing my friends’ activities because I like them. They like me and like seeing mine. Nobody is ‘showing off’

Dentistlakes · 03/01/2024 16:44

I agree op. It’s so depressing. I particularly dislike it at children’s performances. You can’t actually see anything for the idiots holding up their phones to film it. It’s just a sign of the times I’m afraid.

cardibach · 03/01/2024 16:46

For clarity - filming in the theatre is an absolute no. But gigs I’m not so bothered, and at tourist events/places I don’t see why anyone cares.