AIBU to get rid of the skin care that is bleaching all our towels!

[bleechhhhh]

Recently I noticed that small beach spots have been appearing on many of our coloured towels. We rarely use bleach, only really in the toilets which I couldn’t work out how it was getting on to towels from bathrooms, not toilets (separate rooms) Noticed in DSS’s bathroom that he uses lots of skincare that contain various strengths of hydrogen peroxide. Asked DH to have a chat to DSS about being more careful with it, washing his hands after using it etc.
Still kept happening, asked again and suggested he only picks white towels from the linen.
Went in just before Christmas to clean his bathroom and a whole set of pattered towels were completely trashed by bleach, not just spots but huge areas. He’s obviously using moisturiser with HP and not washing his hands after, just drying them on the towels. Just feel so frustrated, most of our coloured towels have some form of bleach stain.
DH has asked him to apologise, which he’s done and asked to replace a couple of sets from his own money, yet to happen.
DH want to buy a set of white towels and a basket just for his bathroom to stop him trashing anymore. I think he needs to learn to use the product correctly or it goes in the bin! Plus the white towels still get stained, it’s just a faint yellowing which still looks awful, and I’m reluctant to spend money on towels just for him to ruin. I’d prefer him to use the old stained ones, we normally keep for outside stuff. AIBU?

I think you need to rethink your priorities! You're valuing having matching towels over your own child/young adulthood is obviously feeling self conscious about his skin which has a knock on effect on confidence.

I understand why you sought an apology, as he had been asked to take more care, but honestly I think it's a huge overreaction over towels!

Not sure why your husband has to talk to him, why don't you sit down with him and ask if he'd like to see someone about his skin. This could be a HP/pharmacist or just simply a teenage skin facial to help him understand how to care for his skin depending on the severity of his acne.

And stop worrying about your towels! The world won't stop turning because your towels aren't insta worthy.

I do get how frustrating it is when you feel like you’re the only one fighting an uphill battle to keep a house feeling nice. But I think YABU here - he’s trying to get a handle on his skin, it’s hard being a teenager, I imagine it’s even harder being a teenage boy when you often have less social resources than teenage girls to discuss this stuff.

might be a good time to talk to him about acne skin care and not drying it out too much…

I would channel your most empathetic self, get him a stack of towels from TKMaxx or something in a really different colour and a laundry bin and gently ask him to make sure he uses those instead. I have lunatic neon + black ones my heavy make up using sister knows to use when she stays. It might take some repetition - but I think consistently asking nicely and offering a solution is probably more likely to work medium term.

get your self a couple of nice new towels while you’re at it.

you’re not being crazy but this is probably a place you can lean in to connection vs conflict if you can manage to breathe past the rage!

Such a saga over towels, I feel sorry for your DSS. Making him apologise over bleach stains on towels, asking him to pay for a new set and making a drama out of nothing. I cant imagine living such a bland life that I’d have the interest or inclination to be in a strop over bleached towels. Can’t imagine why you initially asked your DH to have a word with your DSS about it - were you unable to have such a conversation yourself?

Why not buy a bunch of towels just for your DSS to use or to use swimming/beach towels which are already bleach damaged. Cream/off white towels won’t show bleach marks.

I wonder would make such an issue about this if it were your own DS and not a DSS. You sound miserable.

You and your DH have been horrible and should apologise for your behaviour.

Poor kid. I bet this isn't the only instance where you're critical and unsupportive.

Do towels stop working if they have bleach spots on them? Who else sees you in these hideously deformed towels?

Poor kid.

Presuming it's benzoyl peroxide, and for anyone else using it/have teens using it - if it's the 5% strength (Acnecide is) then it actually kills 99% of the bacteria in less than a minute, so you can actually apply the cream, wait then wash it off properly (I use it before a shower, or just while brushing teeth etc). This will save towels & clothes, and also has less side effects like dryness.

You are being harsh. I've used it for acne before and despite washing hands my towels, bedding, neckline on clothes etc still got bleached. The only way to stop it is either stop using the product or use white towels and bedding.
At the end of the day, it's just towels. It's not worth arguing with your family over.

I'd rather have bleach on the towels than a DC struggling with their skin. My DC has acne and it gets them down so much.

Think of the bigger picture here OP, you ABVU to your DC

I'd actually be worried about putting something that bleached towels on my skin. Agree that the solution is cheap bright towels that stand out.

You and your husband have a bigger problem than a couple of speckled towels. Your own controlling behaviour. Made him apologise??? Honestly poor kid bet he can’t wait to get away from the pair of you. Have you any awareness of how you are coming across to other parents? Put it in perspective honestly.

So not only does this poor lad have to put up with horrible acne, and skin products that dry his skin (I know perfectly what he is using, I had it for most of my teenage years), he is now denied use of towels that everyone else can use and his SM is being nasty over it. Your priorities are wrong and you haven’t got a clue about teenagers.

Is it Freederm he’s using? My DS used that as a spotty teen, and yes, it bleached the towels… they still worked as towels tho!! And towels don’t last forever… no doubt you’ll get new ones just as he’ll get past the acne.

Some of my skincare bleaches towels. Even if you wash your hands, it can still happen.

As others have said, it will be acne control product and therefore there's a medical need for him to use it. Just get him to stick to using the towels that are already bleached.

Of course you shouldn't throw out his skincare, that would be vile. You and your DH are being awful about this.

Poor kid.
Having bad skin is miserable for a teenager, I think you need to reappraise your priorities if towels are your big concern.
If the poor lad wants nothing to do with you as an adult it’ll be because of stuff like this…just try and chill out a but OP!

Just buy him some white towels? Bad enough the kid has worried about his skin, does he need to be stressed about patterned towels as well? Not a hill to die on this.

Timely thread, I actually looked at DS's bleach spotted towels today and finally figured out it's his acne gel. I read your thread title and thought "yep I feel your pain!". Then I read your post... jesus you sound awful. I can't believe you roused on him to his dad, made the kid apologise, told him to replace the towels at his own cost (WTF!!), want to throw his skin care in bin, and want to make him use shitty old towels.

IMO you need to go and apologise about how you've overreacted. And his father's idea of buying his own set of white towels (or just stick to using the already bleached ones) is the plan you should go with.

am I being thick?, just ensure the already trashed towels are the only ones available for him to use? Why buy new ones... let him have exclusive use of the trashed ones. He then gets to use his products; and you have no additional expense.

I am really hoping you are reading this and taking it in op.

@Mirrormeback @DuploTrain

I shouldn't have written 'thread', I meant MN as a whole!

Although @GreatGateauxsby is one of the nasty ones I speak of!

Get him a retinol/Tretinoin prescription for his acne. Doesn’t bleach and more effective.

You sound a nightmare step mum! Way to alienate your stepson… Poor thing is probably self conscious of his skin and is doing his best to clear it. It’s most likely Acnecide, DD used it for a while and yes it is a nightmare re: bleaching towels, even if you’re careful with it. Just get him his own set of white towels. No big deal. Asking him to replace them with his own money is horrible and absolutely ridiculous. Give your head a wobble and be a bit kinder to him

Way way too harsh! My DD struggled with acne and used creams with the benzoyl peroxide in. It's stained white towels and bleached coloured towels plus pillowcases. I wouldn't dream of making her pay to replace them! She can't help having acne, what a way to make her feel worse about herself!!
You are absolutely in the wrong here, even a step-son deserves your compassion 🙄

Just give him his towels to keep in his bathroom/bedroom. Doesn't matter if they are stained if he is the only one to see them.
Acne products bleach

Another vote here for giving dss the towels you think are already ruined for his exclusive use, then buy yourselves separate new fluffy ones for your exclusive use.

Don't make the poor lad buy new towels. Yes he could have been more careful after you had requested it, but he is a teenager with bad skin and this whole scenario must be so humiliating for him.

It's not his fault that he has acne or that OTC remedies contain bleaching agents.

Your reaction here is something my mum would do and she is a cruelly raging narcissist. Think on OP, other people's feelings do matter as much as yours.