Is this an abusive relationship?

[hopehappiness]

I have recently given birth and I often feel my partner is very abusive too me and he has just been very aggressive too me for standing in front if the TV whilst I restocked my baby's changing trolley.

My partner blames everything on me from my son having severe acid reflux to him not working, I am just blamed for everything.

He lives in my house which I pay rent on and refuses to leave.
He has even told me "he will make me go" from my own house despite the house being in my name.

When I threaten to call the police he will say he tell Social Services that I cant look after our baby.

I cant fault that he is a brilliant dad but the way he treats and speaks to me is disgusting.

I feel like a prisoner living in my own home, I have no family living near me for support.

I just dont know what to do anymore.

Call the police! He has no right to be there. Let him call social services, they won’t do anything except a visit. You must get away from him.

Call the police and evict him. He's not a good dad. Good dad's don't abuse the moms.

Brilliant dads don’t abuse the mothers of their children.

Call the police.

Let him call social services. (He won’t. And if he did, they wouldn’t do anything more than have a chat with you).

A brilliant dad doesn’t blame his baby’s reflux on their mother. A brilliant dad doesn’t treat his baby’s mother like that. Reevaluate what a brilliant dad is. Actually no. Think of what an ok dad is and he would still miss the mark.

call the police, kick him out and welcome social services with open arms so they can turn around and say there’s no problems.

You can also call Women’s Aid op, and it’s also worth calling your Health Visitor. Don’t worry about his threats, they are ridiculous. Please take action now. Hope you are ok.

Tell your health visitor.
Yes, this is abuse.
Your home should be your safe place. Your partner should be your safe place.
No, he won't be able to take the baby away.

so you feel like you could take action after the ‘confirmation’ from the above posts?

I cant really call anyone as he is here day and night.

I just feel so fed up, anytime I express I am worried about things he will just dismiss what I say and will make me question if I even love my son or not.

Go to a friend or family member,
from a safe place, ring the police and say he’s refusing to leave and you need them to remove him as it’s your house, you have a baby and you’re too scared to go back.

Op are you absolutely sure that it’s impossible for you to call anyone? Can you not take your baby out for a walk and make a call?

You should also be able to email or text a health visitor who can help you.

you could also call the police while he is asleep.

I am sure you can online report to the police…do you think you would have the strength to do that?

Call the police and tell them he refuses to leave. You could do it when you go to shop, in the toilet, in the night.

Get a locksmith to change the locks. Once he's out, if he comes to the house being abusive call the police every time.

Social services can visit, tell them what's happening so it's logged into them too.

Do not offer visits without a mediator there (someone you trust) or wait for him to apply through courts.

Make sure every abusive behaviour no matter how small is logged with police. If things get worse you can have grounds for a injunction

Speak to women's aid for support. Tell family/friends who you trust.

Coercive control is a crime - you can read about it here: https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/controlling-or-coercive-behaviour-intimate-or-family-relationship

If this sounds like your relationship please take any opportunity you can to call the police or a women’s organization who can advise. Can you take the baby to the shops or the park and make a call from there?

Please contact women’s aid. He cannot take your house off you and he can tell social services what he likes, they are used to baseless allegations from exes.

Why do women always insist abusive fuckwits are brilliant dad's? He's shouting at you becaus eyour baby has reflux and you're trying to sort nappies. How long before he's shouting at the baby for daringt o have reflux and need a nappy?

I agree with PP that this could be coercive control. Obviously, we only have a snap shot from your life, but if it’s an accurate reflection of everyday life and not tit for tat arguing, then this does sound like coercive control. Either way it’s not a healthy environment within which to raise a child and sounds toxic.

You could physically go to the police. If you have a mobile phone, phone from the park. You should be getting your baby out into fresh air every day if possible when weather is ok enough. If he doesn’t allow you to go out then that is definitely abuse.