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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Actor stopped because of emailer in audience

348 replies

ChangeNameLikeIChangeSocks · 02/01/2024 22:24

I just read about this in the guardian, I'll put a picture of the heading of the article.

He says he "thought" the audience member was sending emails on his laptop. I wonder how he knew that, presumably he couldn't see the screen, and signal in theatres is dreadful. I would take a punt that he was in fact playing minesweeper.

I'm going off topic. The reason I wanted to post this is because it leapt out as me as a parallel to typical behaviour in many of the (Good!) schools I've taught in. Low level disruption. Except it's not one audience (class) member, it's most of them.

So I had to smile wryly to myself that this made the national news.

Either the audience member had very good reason, or this is a natural follow on from the deterioration of respect and good behaviour in schools.

Oh actors, come teach the dear children!

Actor stopped because of emailer in audience
OP posts:
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5
Calliopespa · 03/01/2024 11:00

Whyyoulyingfor · 03/01/2024 10:56

Definitely a deterioration in public behaviour. People seem to think their own instant gratification or agenda are more important than everyone else. Covid gets blamed for this but it was definitely happening before, technology and the internet are large contributors. Everyone is so instantly contactable and believe they have the right to voice their opinion or be offended at everything due to social media. Look at how many people instantly get their phones out during a time of crisis to film it or film people in distress for a few likes online. We have lost what it means to care for others.

This has trickled down into schools as children see their own parents behaving in a similar way. The issue is I can only see it getting worse and not better.

Could not agree more.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/01/2024 11:01

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 03/01/2024 09:51

I had this at a training day the other week. Person next to me used their laptop throughout the training. I mean either give them your attention or leave!

That's a bit different isn't it. Maybe the person still had work to do that day and the boss had sent them to the training course without allocating their work to someone else.
And people use laptops in training to take notes so no difference in terms of disruption.

forcedfun · 03/01/2024 11:02

Isthisreasonable · 03/01/2024 10:57

@forcedfun they don't arrange cover so that they can preen about their own importance. They would find it very stressful not being constantly on line and in the loop. It's very sad.

Agreed. It's a either an ego thing of needing to look /feel important. Or it's someone profoundly disorganised who hasn't arranged suitable cover.

If you can't take a day off from your job then you are on a slippery slope to burnout

Emotionalsupportviper · 03/01/2024 11:04

Soontobe60 · 03/01/2024 10:45

Could it be because the link goes on to say the following?
I was pausing and [the stage team] were like, ‘Get on with it’ and I was like, ‘There’s no way.’ I stopped for ages.”
A woman next to the laptop user appeared to alert him to the situation and he finally stopped

In other words, another audience member distracted the actor to bring laptop man to his attention. The laptop didn’t disturb the actor, the other audience member did.

In other words, another audience member distracted the actor to bring laptop man to his attention. The laptop didn’t disturb the actor, the other audience member did.

I think this is unlikely - On stage you can't discern much of the audience at all, because the stage lights are so bright, and the audience is in darkness.

I think the other audience member drew the laptop user's attention to the fact that the play had stopped and the actor was glaring towards the laptop glow.

And if you are more engrossed in a bit of technological shite than in an excellently acted production of one of the world's greatest plays, then you shouldn't bother going to the theatre at all.

ErrolTheDragon · 03/01/2024 11:05

Good for him.
Using any electronic devices (let alone a laptop!) in a theatre is disrespectful both to the performers and to other members of the audience who've probably paid a lot.

A few years ago we saw Cabaret in Manchester - there was some disturbance (iirc a phone rang and was answered). I've forgotten the exact details but I think at the next scene change, 'EmCee' (Will Young, I think, but completely in character) came out in front of the curtains and delivered a brilliant rebuke. I hope the miscreant was suitably chastened, it was quite enjoyable for everyone else!

MermaidMummy06 · 03/01/2024 11:06

I was at a stand up comedy show & the comedian warned the audience to not use their phones or take photos as it disturbed the show.

There's always one, of course, took a photo in the first five minutes - from the front row. The comedian made him hand it over, put it down the front of his pants, lay down and dragged his lower body half across the stage, like you see a dog do. Then handed it back.

Not one more phone was seen during the entire peformance.

It was hilarious. It might seem off colour but he was that kind of comedian anyway. And no disturbance!!

Fizbosshoes · 03/01/2024 11:06

I know it's not the same but I often feel frustrated at the amount of people on trains who are having calls on loud speaker (often repeating themselves multiple times because of sketchy connections/tunnels) listening to music on headphones but so loud you can hear it half a carriage away or just watching/listening to stuff at full volume, no headphones (or putting kids videos on at full volume)
I frequently get up to move if this is overwhelming but sometimes it's impossible to escape other people's noisy devices when half the carriage seems to be doing it!

Whyyoulyingfor · 03/01/2024 11:06

Iam4eels · 03/01/2024 09:54

I do this in school if children are talking - "everyone, let's just wait while we wait for John and Jenny to finish their conversation. It must be very urgent and important to have carried on during the lesson..." then everyone looks expectantly at them to find out what was so urgent and important.

Audience behaviour has deteriorated souch post-covid, it has nothing to do with children in schools and everything to do with grown adults forgetting how to behave in public. Talking, recording, singing along, heckling all seem to be the norm now and it's awful. Good on Andrew Scott for calling it out.

But it isn’t just post Covid. This has been a long-term decline in standards of behaviour. Public spaces in general (including schools). Look at how many posters there are in hospitals and doctors surgeries reminding adults on how to behave. Schools phone lines starting with a reminder not to be rude. Fire services reminding the public they won’t tolerate abuse. Adults are meant to show children how to behave and there has been a long-term decline in this even before Covid.

Maicon · 03/01/2024 11:06

If a trainer told senior managers off in a passive aggressive way for checking their phones they'd never be back. They have no back-up and do need to be available.

Emotionalsupportviper · 03/01/2024 11:06

forcedfun · 03/01/2024 11:02

Agreed. It's a either an ego thing of needing to look /feel important. Or it's someone profoundly disorganised who hasn't arranged suitable cover.

If you can't take a day off from your job then you are on a slippery slope to burnout

Or somebody frightened that if they get their work covered it will become apparent how little they actually do, and that they have a backlog of months of work which they haven't bothered with because they have been playing Candy Crush instead of working.

KimberleyClark · 03/01/2024 11:07

Gwenhwyfar · 03/01/2024 11:01

That's a bit different isn't it. Maybe the person still had work to do that day and the boss had sent them to the training course without allocating their work to someone else.
And people use laptops in training to take notes so no difference in terms of disruption.

I always preferred to take notes in a notebook with a pen and type them up later. Doing it on a laptop just took too much concentration away from the actual training.

Emotionalsupportviper · 03/01/2024 11:08

MermaidMummy06 · 03/01/2024 11:06

I was at a stand up comedy show & the comedian warned the audience to not use their phones or take photos as it disturbed the show.

There's always one, of course, took a photo in the first five minutes - from the front row. The comedian made him hand it over, put it down the front of his pants, lay down and dragged his lower body half across the stage, like you see a dog do. Then handed it back.

Not one more phone was seen during the entire peformance.

It was hilarious. It might seem off colour but he was that kind of comedian anyway. And no disturbance!!

Edited

I wonder if that was staged?

If so - it was an inspired way to prevent people fanning on with their phones.

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/01/2024 11:08

Gruffling · Today 10:37
**
Would it have been as offensive if the guy was taking notes with pen and paper?
**
As an ND person with terrible working memory, I often use my phone to make notes if someone is saying something important. Therefore, me having my phone out typing while you talk is actually a sign that I am listening intensely and think what you are saying is important enough to remember!
**
I've noticed people have become increasingly ragey about this in recent times

So buy a copy of the text. No need whatsoever to “take notes” during a performance. Disrespectful to the actors and to other audience members.
If I’d paid a lot of money to see a live performance, I’d be ragey with you too and tell you to turn your bloody phone off (which the theatre will already have told you to do).

KimberleyClark · 03/01/2024 11:10

Fizbosshoes · 03/01/2024 11:06

I know it's not the same but I often feel frustrated at the amount of people on trains who are having calls on loud speaker (often repeating themselves multiple times because of sketchy connections/tunnels) listening to music on headphones but so loud you can hear it half a carriage away or just watching/listening to stuff at full volume, no headphones (or putting kids videos on at full volume)
I frequently get up to move if this is overwhelming but sometimes it's impossible to escape other people's noisy devices when half the carriage seems to be doing it!

DH and I travelled by train in France recently and couldn’t help but be impressed when a man in an adjacent seat whose phone rang stood up and went to the end of the carriage to take the call.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/01/2024 11:10

KimberleyClark · 03/01/2024 11:07

I always preferred to take notes in a notebook with a pen and type them up later. Doing it on a laptop just took too much concentration away from the actual training.

That's fine for you if you have the time, but I would see that as double work.

MadWifeInTheAttic · 03/01/2024 11:11

2024namechange · 03/01/2024 09:27

Audiences are just rude now in general! I went to a carol service before Christmas and in my small corner of the church there was;

  • a family with two teens lying on the floor scrolling
  • a family with a dog that could not keep quiet (why does a dog need to be at a carol service)
  • a woman who made a phone call! And I don’t mean ducked out to take an important call, I mean rang someone and spoke for about 3 minutes while still sitting at her pew

shocking

My dog would adore the carol service. Music, esp piano, makes her fucking howl as if her heart was breaking. I should think the soloist bringing in Once In Royal David's City a capella would be glad of some support, no?

Emotionalsupportviper · 03/01/2024 11:11

KimberleyClark · 03/01/2024 11:07

I always preferred to take notes in a notebook with a pen and type them up later. Doing it on a laptop just took too much concentration away from the actual training.

Yep - notebook and pen all the way for me, too.

Apart from anything etc you can then put arrows in showing connections, exceptions to rules and so on much more clearly and easily.

Maicon · 03/01/2024 11:11

Plays/performances are completely different to bloody corporate sheep-dip trainings that everyone has to endure.

KimberleyClark · 03/01/2024 11:13

MadWifeInTheAttic · 03/01/2024 11:11

My dog would adore the carol service. Music, esp piano, makes her fucking howl as if her heart was breaking. I should think the soloist bringing in Once In Royal David's City a capella would be glad of some support, no?

And some descant from the dog!

Gwenhwyfar · 03/01/2024 11:14

forcedfun · 03/01/2024 11:02

Agreed. It's a either an ego thing of needing to look /feel important. Or it's someone profoundly disorganised who hasn't arranged suitable cover.

If you can't take a day off from your job then you are on a slippery slope to burnout

A training day is not a day off though.
In some ways, I prefer the days before I had a laptop and work mobile because if you were not at your desk, you couldn't be expected to answer any requests.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/01/2024 11:15

Maicon · 03/01/2024 11:11

Plays/performances are completely different to bloody corporate sheep-dip trainings that everyone has to endure.

I completely agree.

I don't understand having a laptop at a play. For one thing, the theatre is so expensive I'd want to be concentrating.

FestiveFruitloop · 03/01/2024 11:16

Good for him. Too many people don't know how to behave in the theatre any more.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 03/01/2024 11:16

DonnaBanana · 03/01/2024 09:58

Why do some people bother going to shows if they can't pay attention to them?

Not everyone wants to be there but may be dragged by family or SO. If I’m at a thing I’m not interested in I’ll listen to a podcast or something but wouldn’t get a laptop out

You don't allow yourself to be 'dragged' there. You tell the person there is no shame or taboo about going to the theatre or a concert etc on your own and they need to go by themselves.

Emotionalsupportviper · 03/01/2024 11:18

Gwenhwyfar · 03/01/2024 11:10

That's fine for you if you have the time, but I would see that as double work.

I would regard having to trail through a series of "notes" all in the same font etc (because swapping/ changing colours etc) would be too time consuming.

Taking manual notes allows for connections, emphasis - and other things that might spring into your mind at that time eg "patient X presented with A, B and C . . ." you might think "Hang on - there was a paper about B that I saw just the other day - did it mention any links with A or C?" and you can make a quick note to remind yourself while you remember.

Also (for me) ear/ eye to brain to hand notes make stuff easier to process and remember anyway - you are utilising two/ three memory pathways.

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