This is long ! First some background...
Dh has a group of friends from uni that he sees once a month or so - we live in different parts of the country now. By long standing tradition we have a pre Christmas dinner thing with all the kids/wives etc there (as it is now, and each couple/person provides a course or drinks.
We moved into a much larger house than we had previously last year, and so could actually host this, and worked out that with quite a bit of juggling, everyone could stay over.
Everyone agreed a date, and that most would be going to stay - this meant there would be 10 adults and 6 kids (14m-4) there in the day, and 9+5 staying.
Reconfirmed everything a week before.
Did huuuge shop, plus bought an airbed, waterproof sheet for a bed that 2 oldest kids would be sleeping in, and some small plastic chairs, again for older kids.
Organised bed sheets/duvets/pillows for everyone.
Day before, DH reconfirms by email. And this is when it starts...
Friend says 'oh DS's are a bit snotty. We seem to have a bug going round. They and DW might not be coming. I'll be there for def - but I'll let you know about the rest'
In the morning, we get a call from one of the others - 'has J called you? - we called to see whether he needed a lift, and he said he wouldn't be coming'. We checked all house phones, and emails - no message at all.
No message ever came, nor has he said anything since about the incident. They frequently cancel at last minute citing child illness or possible illness, but always something vague, but this has really got to me - not least as we were left with a load of food specifically bought because of them and their kids.
Would it be unreasonable when the next time any sort of event is planned to ask him to give an honest answer as to whether they are actually coming or not ?